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View Poll Results: How punx are you?
>300 gtfo proghead 11 16.67%
180-300 Average music listener, not punx 32 48.48%
120-180 Pretty punx I guess 12 18.18%
60-120 *-) *-) *-) 3 4.55%
0-60 YOUR SO PUNX YOU MUST BE SID VICIOUS HAVE MUH BABIEZ 8 12.12%
Voters: 66. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 06-07-2009, 12:18 AM   #1
werty22
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How punx are you? Use the Newman-Lewis ratio to find out!

'K guys, this is a stupid idea for a thread, but I'm making it anyway because this forum is pretty boring lately.

We all know that true punx songs are fast and short. A logical conclusion to draw from this fact is that one's punxness is inversely proportional to the average length of the songs in his or her music library.

To find your place on the Newman-Lewis scale, (named for Colin Newman and Graham Lewis of Wire, one of the first bands to take song brevity to the extreme and the band with the shortest "real" song in my collection) follow these steps:

1. Find (a) the total number of songs in your library and (b) the total length of all of those songs. If you use WMP, you can do this by selecting all songs and looking at the bottom right corner of the window. I don't know about iTunes or Winamp.

2. Convert (b) to seconds.

3. Divide (b) by (a).

For example, I currently have a modest 1739 songs and 87.7 hours (315,720 seconds) on my computer. So my Newman-Lewis score in significant figures is 182. Just over 3 minutes, which is the official minimum length for a standard pop song. Clearly not punx, but it could be worse.

Make sure to find your score regularly (at least every 3 months). If you're doinitrite, it should decrease each time. If it increases, throw out some of that prog rock.

Poll coming soon, I think.
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Old 06-07-2009, 12:23 AM   #2
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This thread seems like a huge fail...
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Old 06-07-2009, 12:28 AM   #3
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I got 1 minute 56 seconds. I'm not sure how.
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Old 06-07-2009, 12:34 AM   #4
axeslash
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I'm right at 2 minutes 35 seconds but I've got some music to add to my collection so that number will change shortly.

22864 Songs
41.7 Days of music
79.33GB of muzacks
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Last edited by axeslash : 06-07-2009 at 12:37 AM.
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Old 06-07-2009, 12:38 AM   #5
werty22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedSox_o4
This thread seems like a huge fail...

You Pit monkeys say that about everything.
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Old 06-07-2009, 01:59 AM   #6
k90728
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Damn i just added a crazy doom metal album and each song is like 100 minutes long ****.

i have 635 songs and 96580 seconds.

I'm "pretty punx i guess"

I better add all my grindcore albums and take off my doom records.
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Old 06-07-2009, 02:53 AM   #7
sargasm
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comes out to 168.4

A bit shorter than average I suppose.

My library is pretty punx for the most part.

However, I'm giving it a look and my longest songs are by Filth, La Fraction, Propagandhi, Huskur Du, (early) Chumbawamba, TV Smith, Television, Iggy Pop, Wipers and stuff like that, so I dunno how accurate this test really is.
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Old 06-07-2009, 08:26 AM   #8
Adarsh
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188.5 seconds for 3341 songs....

I have a large amount of Godspeed You! Black Emperor, the first couple of Chumbawumba albums, as well as Streetlight Manifesto to bump up my average, I guess.
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Old 06-07-2009, 09:20 AM   #9
BrianApocalypse
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I'm not doing this because it'll take forever, but seeing as I have everything Jethro Tull, King Crimson and ELP ever did, I'm not going to be very punk at all.

EDIT: also, 'Sister Ray' is pretty punk and it's 17 minutes, while some dumb Minor Threat sh*t is not very punk and is fractionally shorter.
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Old 06-07-2009, 10:35 AM   #10
lavazza
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My Winamp got down while trying to get all of my music in.........I have some bootlegs of the concerts I played on my PC, which means some 60 min MP3s.......

Quote:
Originally Posted by sargasm
Chumbawamba


if you are ever able to read the booklet of "Total resistance to the ****ing system" by Oi Polloi you should do that......
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Old 06-07-2009, 11:03 AM   #11
RizzoWashburn
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10263 songs
24.8 days = 2142720 seconds

Comes out to 208.78105817012569 seconds or 3.479684301835428 minutes.

The copious amounts of sludge/doom/stoner metal doesn't help
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Old 06-07-2009, 11:24 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lavazza
if you are ever able to read the booklet of "Total resistance to the ****ing system" by Oi Polloi you should do that......




When they're talking about their backstage room with the champagne and stuff?
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Old 06-07-2009, 01:15 PM   #13
werty22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sargasm
so I dunno how accurate this test really is.

Yeah, well it's a joke... so it's not accurate at all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrianApocalypse
I'm not doing this because it'll take forever

To prove you wrong I got a stopwatch and timed myself. It took one minute and three seconds. And I was taking my time. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE NOT TO DO IT.

Also, this time I got 169 with only 81.9 hours and 1740 songs, which is odd because I don't recall deleting any music last night.

Last edited by werty22 : 06-07-2009 at 01:28 PM.
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Old 06-07-2009, 02:02 PM   #14
BrianApocalypse
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Oh, there's a shortcut?

OK, I'll have a go once I've got my computer set up, which I have not at the time of writing.
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Old 06-07-2009, 03:23 PM   #15
charliezard!
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14808 songs / 32.6 days =

190.2

DAMN! My plethora of 20 minute Henry Rollins spoken word songs ruined my score. He must be unpunx.

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Old 06-07-2009, 03:54 PM   #16
JesusOfSbrbia
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4947 songs
968,400 seconds

So I'm a 196.
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Old 06-07-2009, 03:59 PM   #17
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man im so punx i only have cd's and vinyls and cant be bothered to go through all of them to figure out the average time length
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Old 06-07-2009, 04:04 PM   #18
CGB89
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428 Songs
95,040 Seconds
222.06 is my score

I have the new Metallica where every song is like 10 minutes long. I've also got a Gn'R greatest hits album which has most of the songs at like 7 minutes or more. I also have the David Cook album, which has a song that is 15 minutes cuz its 2 songs on one track. But this test is inaccurate because a true punk is proud of their music no matter what, so punk is measured by the variety one has within their music collection that makes their music unique. And since I'm pretty sure no one on UG will read this long post... I had sex with your mother last night... She also blew me. Lol
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Old 06-07-2009, 04:06 PM   #19
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My actual score was:
3 songs
9970546126483254 seconds

WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! PHAIL!!!
F***IN THROUGH THE FIRE AND FLAMES, FREE BIRD AND SUPERNOVA INCENSE
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Old 06-07-2009, 04:06 PM   #20
I_Pwn
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8,149 songs
15.6 days of music = 1,347,840 seconds

I got 165.4 seconds. I could have not my math very wrong though.
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