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Old 10-20-2009, 10:55 AM   #61
ShallowEndings
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Aussie chick

Bugera Pics?
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Old 10-20-2009, 10:56 AM   #62
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hey you wanna taste my searchbar??

/lame
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Old 10-20-2009, 10:56 AM   #63
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Originally Posted by Toast1337
hey you wanna taste my searchbar??

/lame



"My friend likes you."
"Where is your friend?"

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Old 10-20-2009, 10:59 AM   #64
Randio
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"You. Me. Your house. Now."

Yup. Works everytime.
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Old 10-20-2009, 11:05 AM   #65
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did u fart cause you blew me away
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Old 10-20-2009, 11:29 AM   #66
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im no fred flintstone but i can sure make the bed rock
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Old 10-20-2009, 11:38 AM   #67
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DIV ON!
did u fart cause you blew me away


Lord almighty, favourite line in the thread, so sigged.
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Old 10-20-2009, 11:55 AM   #68
toby3p0
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Eventually
Last edited by toby3p0 : 10-21-2009 at 12:31 AM.
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Old 10-20-2009, 11:59 AM   #69
justine0393
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If you and I were squirrels, would you let me pop my nuts into your hole?
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I'd take on Courtney Love, punch her right in the penis.


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Old 10-20-2009, 12:00 PM   #70
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How do you like your eggs? cooked, scrambled or fertilized?
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Old 10-20-2009, 12:14 PM   #71
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Well.......
"I would like to have a nice and caring relationship with you."



I feel so dirty just typing it.


thats sick man...........



my fave is ' hey would you like to kiss a rabbit in between the ears?'

proceeed to pull out your pockets on your pants

'wanna try?'
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Old 10-20-2009, 12:24 PM   #72
SlackerBabbath
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If I give you £5, will you take a dump on my chest?

Quote:
Originally Posted by kickstartkiss
thats sick man...........



my fave is ' hey would you like to kiss a rabbit in between the ears?'

proceeed to pull out your pockets on your pants

'wanna try?'


That works better if you say 'elephant's trunk' instead of 'rabbit in between the ears'.
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Old 10-20-2009, 12:27 PM   #73
aaciseric
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dhutton
Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.


outstanding.
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Old 10-20-2009, 12:28 PM   #74
FrustratedRocka
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Quote:
Originally Posted by So-Cal
Lets say we go for a pizza and a fuck??..... What, you dont like pizza?

I have a friend who's actually used this one... or at least the first half of it before getting slapped.
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one of the best, educated and logical posts I've ever seen on UG in the Pit. Well done good sir.
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Old 10-20-2009, 12:30 PM   #75
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SlackerBabbath
If I give you £5, will you take a dump on my chest?



That works better if you say 'elephant's trunk' instead of 'rabbit in between the ears'.



i didnt make it up pal,
i would have been much more vulgar
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Old 10-20-2009, 12:39 PM   #76
SlackerBabbath
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kickstartkiss
i didnt make it up pal,
i would have been much more vulgar


I saw a mate of mine do that one (elephant's trunk) on a woman once, and he actualy got his penis out as well.

But to give her all due respect, she actualy came back with a great line, she said 'If I give it a bun, will it stuff it up your arse?'
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Old 10-20-2009, 12:58 PM   #77
FreakAddiction
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"I think my penis just died. Do you know CPR?"
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Old 10-20-2009, 01:22 PM   #78
Raizer Sabre
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"You, me, some handcuffs, a whip, a can of whipped cream and all your hottest mates. What do you think?"

"What winks and f**ks like a beast?" "What?" ""

(not really a dirty one, but i'm throwing this in for the lolz)
"Can I get you a drink?" "Sure" "Would you like a wormdo?" "What's a wormdo?" "Oh, it wriggles along the ground like this" (wiggle your finger like a worm)
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When backstage and talkin to the ladies i always go with the ¨Mines is bigger than theirs¨ argument as me bro holds hes guitar and i take out my bass... It works wonders @,@


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Old 10-20-2009, 01:54 PM   #79
Zox
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You Know I'm Really Wired. What Do You Say I Take You Home and Eat Your Pussy?

(Bonus points for getting the reference)
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Old 10-20-2009, 02:18 PM   #80
Noyon999
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"Get your coat, i've got a knife"
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