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Old 11-19-2012, 01:51 PM   #11781
Colohue
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Domino
I think people tend to want more sex the more sex they have, I wouldn't worry about it. Also, a lot of people lie about how experienced they are sexually. I know plenty of 23 year old virgins, so I wouldn't worry about inexperience either. Try to meet people and enjoy yourself without pressuring yourself by thinking where it could lead


I know one, and he hates himself for it.

At first we were supportive, but it just got funny fast.
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Old 11-20-2012, 02:15 AM   #11782
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Hi, I've come here because I'm not sure where to go.

Lately I've found a bit of a decreased sex drive, I don't really get hard unless I actually am stimulating myself. It's like I almost don't believe I'll ever get laid so its hard to be excited about it. I watch porn fairly often, it used to be everyday but I haven't been watching as much lately, still probably 5 times a week at least though. I also smoke pot almost everyday, and drink on the weekends (not sure if this is important but thought I would share just incase).



Look man, as someone who's experienced with both drugs and sex from an early age, I can tell you that sex drive is finicky with drugs. This is neither condoning nor discouraging weed, porn, or liquor, because these can be good in moderation, but too much of them messes with your sex drive IMO.

Can't get laid? Watch porn. Bored? Drink or smoke. See how those are easy solutions things? If you really desire to get laid, increase exercise, cut down on the porn, liquor, and weed, and I can almost guarantee you will see an increase. Besides the mental "short term" solutions/rewards these offer, your body chemistry interacts with these things in certain ways that can decrease sex drive.

For me personally, all have been a double edge sword. Sometimes they make me horny, sometimes not at all. However, what I speak of is a short term reaction to these things. For long term, as you speak of, I believe cutting down on them will positively impact your life. I'm no shrink, nor a playboy who gets every, nor any of that. I had lots of depression/anxiety/substance abuse problems in high school, and I did not get laid, just a few lucky encounters. I cut down on those things (well not porn), and realized I had to get comfortable being uncomfortable (socializing, exercise, etc.). Now, I have sex regularly.


Just some advice. Not trying to sound douchey or judgmental, but you sound like where I used to be, and I hope my experiences help inform you.
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Old 11-20-2012, 03:11 AM   #11783
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Ok, I'm a wee bit drunk and now I have the balls to actually post my feelings on the web.

So I broke up with my girl due to college. I'm five and a half hours away from her, so I thought it would just be a struggle to keep things up, so we decided to break up. We dated for a year and a half and we fell in love and all...you know...
Anyways, so I visited her yesterday and she seemed to be into me. She even asked if I wanted to ****, to which I just laughed...even though there's a part in the back of my mind that really misses her and would love more than anything to make love to her.
We've been apart for about three months...
Anyways, I'm seeing her again on Wednesday...say IF things were to happen and we'd get in the mood again and we were to have sex, would that be a really bad idea on my part?
I mean, I'm a horny dude who hasn't had sex in three and a half months (after having sex at least twice a week). Should I resist from my temptations or will sex not hurt our current relationship?


I hope that made sense.
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Old 11-20-2012, 04:00 AM   #11784
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finally popped my girlfriend's cherry!!




blood, blood everywhere lol. the bad part is that she instantly went out of the mood, so prolly no more fooling around for me tonight. but hopefully now we can actually have sex! yes!
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Old 11-20-2012, 09:44 PM   #11785
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So today I was fingering my girlfriend which I've done before (once or twice) except today all of a sudden one time when I pulled my index and middle finger out they were covered in blood. From what I've seen it seems like either I fingered her too roughly or I scratched her; she's not a virgin.

The bleeding seemed to stop quickly, but from what I've read online some people with similar problems seem to sometimes have it happen consistently. I don't want this to happen every time, so what are your guys thoughts on why it happened and how to avoid it.
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Old 11-20-2012, 10:23 PM   #11786
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Originally Posted by Mozzalicious
So today I was fingering my girlfriend which I've done before (once or twice) except today all of a sudden one time when I pulled my index and middle finger out they were covered in blood. From what I've seen it seems like either I fingered her too roughly or I scratched her; she's not a virgin.

The bleeding seemed to stop quickly, but from what I've read online some people with similar problems seem to sometimes have it happen consistently. I don't want this to happen every time, so what are your guys thoughts on why it happened and how to avoid it.

lol she menstruated on you
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Old 11-20-2012, 11:30 PM   #11787
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Originally Posted by shavorules42
lol she menstruated on you


She's not on her period and she's not spotting, also it was just blood, not blood mixed with the other liquids from a period
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Old 11-21-2012, 12:40 AM   #11788
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Alright, so I need a little bit of help/advice or something. Or just your thought on it is good enough.


So, when I get really horny, and I have the option to have sex with a girl (even if I don't like them at all, or whatever) it takes so much ****ing willpower to stop myself it's ridiculous. Like, I've had sex with 5 different girls, and 3 of those girls were because I couldn't control myself. I just needed it. I had to.

What is wrong with me? I mean, my hormones can't be raging that damn hard, that I can barely control myself. I mean, I become so crazy and lustful that I can't think straight or anything. It's almost like I'm drunk, in terms of decision making, and clouded thoughts, etc.

Why does this happen to me? I mean, I'm turning 18 in 7 months, so I'm quite out of the raging puberty stage. Hell, I went through puberty early as a kid anyways.

I mean, why can't I control myself? I just can't. It's so damn hard.
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Old 11-21-2012, 06:15 AM   #11789
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You're like a horny puppy.

tfw one humps you for three hours before you wise up and realise he isn't neutured and isn't female.
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Old 11-21-2012, 06:54 AM   #11790
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Originally Posted by skylerjames13

Why does this happen to me? I mean, I'm turning 18 in 7 months, so I'm quite out of the raging puberty stage. Hell, I went through puberty early as a kid anyways.

I mean, why can't I control myself? I just can't. It's so damn hard.

You're in the 'my body wants me to shag everything because it thinks I'm gonna be dying soon' stage.
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Old 11-21-2012, 07:37 AM   #11791
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So I got a girl's number in a club last night! We made out and she felt my knob under my jeans - it felt AWESOME, first time I've been out clubbing and all that. Should I text her?
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Old 11-21-2012, 07:45 AM   #11792
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Originally Posted by whoomit
Go for it, nothing to lose.

She has a PRS Custom 24 as well, apparently.. I'm so bad at texting people all like hey bbz wna c mi 2day lol xx
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Old 11-21-2012, 07:48 AM   #11793
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I don't rate hour and a half sex sessions.




My **** feels like it's about to fall off.
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My ideal woman would be a grossly overweight woman who would happy go jogging, come home all sweaty and let me put my dick under her armpit while she shuffles a pack of cards.

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Old 11-21-2012, 08:40 AM   #11794
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Originally Posted by N_J_B_B
I don't rate hour and a half sex sessions.




My **** feels like it's about to fall off.

Then enhance your penal fitness. If it doesn't last at least an hour, why bother?
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Old 11-21-2012, 08:48 AM   #11795
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Originally Posted by Colohue
Then enhance your penal fitness. If it doesn't last at least an hour, why bother?

I don't understand what you're saying... We were having sex for an hour and a half and I'm sore.
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Old 11-21-2012, 12:25 PM   #11796
TSmitty6
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Having sex for more than 30mins doesnt sound appealing to me. I have homework to do.
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Old 11-21-2012, 12:29 PM   #11797
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Originally Posted by Colohue
Then enhance your penal fitness. If it doesn't last at least an hour, why bother?


um, i hope you're including foreplay. and by that i mean, 53 minutes of foreplay.

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Old 11-22-2012, 12:57 AM   #11798
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*sigh* I have got a dilemma :|

So me and my girlfriend have been dating just two weeks shy of one year (11 and a half months...), we've fooled around in bed a lot (fingering, blowjobs), but we've had some tension and arguments about sex. Her family basically taught her that sex is wrong and unnatural (unless you're married of course! *facepalm*... they're not even religious..), she's been convinced of tons of scary info about teen pregnancy, and basically she feels like she's not ready yet. I'm 18 and she's 17.

We've had our disagreements and twice she's given in and tried it (and changed her mind shortly...), but both times ended up with her obviously being uncomfortable with it and me not even being able to keep it up >.> The past two months I've been busy and haven't been seeing her much, and didn't ask her about sex.

It wasn't until today when she told me that when she tried it, it wasn't because she was ready or had really changed her mind, but because she was only scared of losing me and tired of arguing. She said realistically, she won't be ready for at least another year, and that she just can't handle the guilt that she would feel if she actually did it. There wasn't really much left to say after that... I told her she can't expect me to wait forever, but that I love her, and I had to leave after that.

So, from this point, I'm not really sure what's happening. I'm not angry, or particularly upset, or even frustrated. But I don't think I'm staying with her long. For myself, being alone is going to be different (she's my first girlfriend), but I can handle it. To be honest, she does love me more than I love her, so I'm scared of breaking up with her because of the misery and pain she's going to feel. Her first boyfriend dumped her after a month because she wouldn't put out, so that lead to a lot of trust and sex issues. I care about her enough that I don't want to do something to **** her up or damage her character.

Should I tough it out past the one year mark? Her birthday is the day before that as well. ****. I can't let my emotions drive the way I act or talk this time, I need to really do something.

TLDR: First girlfriend that I've been dating for 11 months isn't ready for sex, this time I'm like "okay", but not sure what to do.
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Old 11-22-2012, 05:32 AM   #11799
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Originally Posted by piratemetalhead
*sigh* I have got a dilemma :|

So me and my girlfriend have been dating just two weeks shy of one year (11 and a half months...), we've fooled around in bed a lot (fingering, blowjobs), but we've had some tension and arguments about sex. Her family basically taught her that sex is wrong and unnatural (unless you're married of course! *facepalm*... they're not even religious..), she's been convinced of tons of scary info about teen pregnancy, and basically she feels like she's not ready yet. I'm 18 and she's 17.

We've had our disagreements and twice she's given in and tried it (and changed her mind shortly...), but both times ended up with her obviously being uncomfortable with it and me not even being able to keep it up >.> The past two months I've been busy and haven't been seeing her much, and didn't ask her about sex.

It wasn't until today when she told me that when she tried it, it wasn't because she was ready or had really changed her mind, but because she was only scared of losing me and tired of arguing. She said realistically, she won't be ready for at least another year, and that she just can't handle the guilt that she would feel if she actually did it. There wasn't really much left to say after that... I told her she can't expect me to wait forever, but that I love her, and I had to leave after that.

So, from this point, I'm not really sure what's happening. I'm not angry, or particularly upset, or even frustrated. But I don't think I'm staying with her long. For myself, being alone is going to be different (she's my first girlfriend), but I can handle it. To be honest, she does love me more than I love her, so I'm scared of breaking up with her because of the misery and pain she's going to feel. Her first boyfriend dumped her after a month because she wouldn't put out, so that lead to a lot of trust and sex issues. I care about her enough that I don't want to do something to **** her up or damage her character.

Should I tough it out past the one year mark? Her birthday is the day before that as well. ****. I can't let my emotions drive the way I act or talk this time, I need to really do something.

TLDR: First girlfriend that I've been dating for 11 months isn't ready for sex, this time I'm like "okay", but not sure what to do.

So you're breaking up with her for the exact same reasons as her first boyfriend and therefore adding to her sex and trust issues.

You're a twat and by pressuring her into sex you've already hurt her feelings and further knocked her impression that sex is bad, especially if your attempts were painful. How can she trust someone who doesn't respect her views on sex? So far the only thing she's learned from relationships is that the only thing men want is sex and that if she wants their affection she has to do something painful that she isn't comfortable with. If she's not ok with sex and therefore not in the mood for it, then sex will be uncomfortable or painful.

The ideal solution to your initial problem was to educate yourselves about sex and contraception so she could see why sex before marriage is not immoral and can be beneficial, then let her decide for herself if she was willing to try it.
If someone isn't ready for sex you should always respect that. Putting pressure on sex is never a good idea ,no matter how experienced a person is. If you're not going to relax on the issue then you should do her a favour and step away now.
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Old 11-22-2012, 05:55 AM   #11800
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Originally Posted by piratemetalhead
*sigh* I have got a dilemma :|


You want to weigh in on the options. If you feel fulfilled and are happy everywhere else, then why not stay? If sex is something that's that important to you however, it doesn't make you an asshole for wanting it and therefore questioning whether you should stay.

You best bet is to educate her thoroughly and make sure she's completely filled in with the appropriate information. The stigma is going to be close to impossible to remove, considering you don't want to make her feel like she's solely a warm hole to ****. Try throwing in the anal sex suggestion? That's a middle ground for people who want to remain "virgins" while still pleasing the urge for penetrative sex and virtually no pregnancy risk.

Or you don't bother and you break up with her. The last thing you want to do there is mention that you're dumping her because she won't put out, it'll ruin her self esteem
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