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Old 02-24-2010, 10:01 PM   #1
Grovermans
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[ GP5 / MIDI ] This King of Machines (Experimental / Progressive)

i've been working on this for a couple months, and i think it's finally done. i think it's pretty epic. 19 minutes long i believe. anyway. it's meant to be listened to in RSE, but if you want to listen in MIDI (which i don't recommend, since the volume leveling is terrible and half the notes are too fast to be heard or are slides and bends that sound awful in MIDI), please listen to the one called "king of machines midi". anyway. enjoy.
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File Type: zip king of machines.zip (43.4 KB, 267 views)
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Old 02-24-2010, 10:02 PM   #2
Grovermans
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the file's too large to put it all in one, so here's the MIDI version. and the lyrics.

THIS KING OF MACHINES:

this king of machines,
wed seventeen times to the cobblestone streets,
wrapped his pedigree wounds in saline tourniquets.
his crutch of snakes,
lips split with somnolence, lowered him into his grave.
an eighteenth skeletal angel eclipsed these failed ribs.
her aura sentenced the crow's feet to the gallows.
perforated, she would still outshine the brightest of purples.

when she opened her mouth, her words would slide out
through her lips like ribbons,
and they'd suture stiletto wounds in his anaemic lungs.
derailed by whispers, he would speak in anagrams:
disguised as a cypher, his words would read:
"i'm in love."

this king of machines
severed seventeen nooses with the guillotine.
but she faltered; trees grabbed at her ankles and lashed at her throat.
this one-eyed serpent,
restless in malachite, she breathed like a cavalcade;
her marbled desires had turned themselves into forked tongues,
and for this, she sentenced herself to the gallows.
her womb became unshackled once again, and she was free.

and the crows would peck at the hole in her neck
until she fell to ribbons,
and they'd syphon the warmth from inside his anaemic lungs.
her atonement proved lachrymal, and he wept cryptography.
his tears were deciphered, and they read:
"i'm in love."

this king of machines
wed eighteen times to the guillotine.
the dagger became a source of escape,
and he whispered his last words to its blade:
"i'm in love."
Attached Files
File Type: zip king of machines midi.zip (43.5 KB, 52 views)
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Old 02-24-2010, 10:04 PM   #3
Grovermans
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and here's the actual MIDI file. jesus, i didn't realize the files were this big.
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File Type: zip king of machines midi (2).zip (71.4 KB, 50 views)
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Old 02-24-2010, 11:53 PM   #4
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Man lol I'm not sure what to say to this, it was awesome!
Although the beginning stuff wasn't the typical "Grovermans" stuff I'm used to, it was still good. I don't really remember what else was back in the first 10 minutes to be honest lol. What I liked was from the Melody to the end. The stuff you usually write always seems to have a lasting impression on me...something I can hum along to or something. The beginning didn't really seem like that but definitely towards the end I was very pleased!
It's not much of a crit but I just have to say it was damn good hahah
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Old 02-25-2010, 03:47 PM   #5
Carl6661
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Being 19 minutes long, I apologize if this critique isn't in as much detail as you'd like.

This overall, was just about what I expected from it. Don't take that in a bad way, I can tell that 29043852903482039482039482304 tonnes of work has been put into this, and it shows. But I'm just not into prog' that much. I really liked the C Minor section near the begining, that was awesome. I got a bit bored after a while, but considering this is 19 minutes, and is a genre I don't really listen to, I expected that. I'm sure people who are into this stuff will love it.

8 out of 10 from me. I wasn't totally into it, but massive credit for all the work you put into this.
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Old 02-25-2010, 04:24 PM   #6
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it's good but a bit over the top in my opinion. there's so much going on in such rapid succession i found it hard not to be overwhelmed by it all. if you're going for the fast paced btbam prog style then I guess it fit's it really well but for me personally I got a bit tired by the whole experience after a few minutes.

but the fact that you managed to dish out such an epic song deserves a lot of props. I'm assuming you were influenced in part by metalcore which I don't like to listen to anyway so take my comment as you will!
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Old 02-27-2010, 05:50 AM   #7
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thanks.
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Old 02-27-2010, 08:15 AM   #8
BR00TAL
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Wow. I mean I can see why people who aren't used to this kind of harmonically/melodically complex music would find it tedious and over the top. I thought that was a stellar effort. Some really interesting ideas and you've obviously worked very hard on this. It seems we are both similar in our vision of composition (yet still different).

I thought the clean interlude was really special. It has that contrapuntal element to it that Cynic incorporate a lot, and I can also see derive similarities from a lot of Vai's stuff (solely his clean interludes, for example the one on 'Blue Powder').

There's some really interesting things going on harmonically. I love the 'melody' section at 269. It's really got that latch-on factor that was totally ideal at that point in the composition. The whole section from the Chorus to the outro is melodically spectacular, albeit a little unrestrained and busy at times.

It's funny you see compositions like these on here. Cause if that was actually recorded that would annihilate every other band in the progressive metal spectrum.

Check out my piece in my sig
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Old 02-27-2010, 09:41 AM   #9
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Holy crap. So much... music... in this, at times too much to be honest, but this has gotta be the most impressive composition I've ever heard on here.

Intro - a bit of a thrashy feel, complex and heavy. Nothing to say except the E major on bar 14 made me scratch my head a bit, and jumping straight from E minor into C minor sounded a bit iffy, could have used a cadence.

C minor - great. Throughout this song you use a lot (and I mean a LOT) of shred, some of it I'd say a bit unnecessary tbh, specially because how the hell is anyone going to play this IRL? But I suspect you don't really plan on recording it, it's fine xD... anyway, this part was great because the shred pattern fitted perfectly with the riff and the clean chord progression was very inspired too (gotta love the fusiony key changes)

Time Sigs/Breakdown - brutally progressive. haha. great stuff. The harmonics on the breakdown were a hell of a nice touch, and the transition to "chromatic" made me lol (in a good way)

Chromatic - again a bit thrashy. Wonder what your influences are... anyway, really evil. Cool stuff. And another WTF transition

Interlude - the ideas, especially the chord progression (a bit latin?) are just perfect, the only thing I can criticize is that it gets very busy with harmonized leads and loud rhythm (at least in the midi version), and I think this would work better as a calmer part. Still one of my favourite parts.

Chorus - very melodic and inspired (still a bit on the busy side, but oh well), I probably wouldn't have made it repeat 4 times... plus if you were going to put vocals on that, it would definitely be too busy, go easy on the leads. Post-Chorus actually sounded more balanced in the business aspect.

Jazzy - too much win :P

Drum Break - nice idea, with all the soundscape wtf-ish fade-ins and outs, I'd have made it more of a dedicated drum solo though.

Metal parts - some more uber-prog-craziness, a little thrashy again... shred parts on beatdown were pretty inspired.

Melody - the most stable part of the song, and the most emotional one as well. Very beautiful. Despite 3/4 being (strangely enough) quite hard to pull off in heavy, you did it well.

Solo 1/Chorus - started really well, but wasn't as inspired as I believe it could be. Personally I'd lose the harmonizations and just go for a simpler melody (just some pentatonic would work perfectly) that went easy in the ears and carried more emotional power. This is all good but I don't feel all the emotion that should have been carried away from the previous vamp. Still, it carries on perfectly into the Chorus (although the chorus itself, suffers from being so busy again... I mean, it's ok by itself, but you wouldn't want to sing over it).

Solo 2 - same style as Solo 1, but works a lot better because it takes advantage from the chorus' strength, and building it up into a climax the shreddy stuff goes on better.

Break/Solo 3/Outro - perfect ending... much smoother, which frankly was necessary after all that. The clean fading soloing on the outro was f***ing awesome.

Overall... perfectly worth the 19 minutes of my life (actually more like 2 hours, gotta be like the 6th time I listen to at least parts of it since 3 days ago). The only thing I can say is tone down a bit on some sections so it doesn't get so messy. 9.999/10.

C4C? Frustration, my sig. thx.
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Old 02-27-2010, 09:12 PM   #10
Grovermans
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a lot of the problems you mentioned are more midi problems. like. in RSE, a lot of the distorted guitars that i have are lightly distorted and aren't quite as loud or messy. i wish you could listen to in RSE haha. it really is infinitely better than it is in MIDI. i change the tone for each section so it all sounds a lot less messy. especially in the solos, it sounds a lot less messy. even that E major in the intro sounds more reasonable in RSE. but anyway. i didn't have a whole lot of influences for most of this. i generally just try to make music that i want to hear. but in some parts, i had pretty strong influences. like for the more metal parts, btbam (mostly in the intro; the first solo was pretty selkies-influenced) and protest the hero (especially for that first breakdown, and for metal II / beatdown). i had a bit of jeff buckley influence in the cleaner parts. the melody section was actually inspired by the score to the buffy the vampire slayer series finale hahaha. and as for the playability factor, i am completely unable to play the majority of this song. i write music far more complicated than i am capable of playing. it's disappointing to not be able to play it, but at the same time, i feel like i probably wouldn't write things like this if i were actually capable of playing them.
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Last edited by Grovermans : 02-27-2010 at 09:13 PM.
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Old 02-28-2010, 01:51 PM   #11
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Well, you probably could export it to WAV and use some converter to make it an MP3? I'd like to hear if it isn't much trouble, I don't have RSE... still what I noticed the most wasn't an overflow of sound, just an overflow of different ideas at the same time. But I believe in you that it should be a lot better with a better sound system.

hehe, I think the same way when it comes to composing. Just a sucky guitarist with a PC here but you really took this song to an unusually high level, it was a humbling experience.

Btw, where do the lyrics go? xD
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Old 03-01-2010, 03:53 AM   #12
Grovermans
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THIS KING OF MACHINES:

C MINOR:
this king of machines,
wed seventeen times to the cobblestone streets,
wrapped his pedigree wounds in saline tourniquets.
his crutch of snakes,
lips split with somnolence, lowered him into his grave.
an eighteenth skeletal angel eclipsed these failed ribs.
her aura sentenced the crow's feet to the gallows.

TIME SIGS:
perforated, she would still outshine the brightest of purples.

BREAKDOWN (starting at bar 68):
when she opened her mouth, her words would slide out
through her lips like ribbons,
and they'd suture stiletto wounds in his anaemic lungs.

CHROMATIC:
derailed by whispers, he would speak in anagrams:
disguised as a cypher, his words would read:
"i'm in love."

INTERLUDE:
this king of machines
severed seventeen nooses with the guillotine.
but she faltered; trees grabbed at her ankles and lashed at her throat.
this one-eyed serpent,
restless in malachite, she breathed like a cavalcade;
her marbled desires had turned themselves into forked tongues,
and for this, she sentenced herself to the gallows.
her womb became unshackled once again, and she was free.

BREAKDOWN / MELODY:
and the crows would peck at the hole in her neck
until she fell to ribbons,
and they'd syphon the warmth from inside his anaemic lungs.
her atonement proved lachrymal, and he wept cryptography.
his tears were deciphered, and they read:
"i'm in love."

BOTH CHORUSES:
this king of machines
wed eighteen times to the guillotine.
the dagger became a source of escape,
and he whispered his last words to its blade:
"i'm in love."
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Last edited by Grovermans : 03-01-2010 at 03:57 AM.
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Old 03-01-2010, 04:02 AM   #13
metul kult
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oh my god. i'm going to take my time on this one man. can you crit mine in the process though? hahaha.

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1281469
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Old 03-01-2010, 02:04 PM   #14
Thomasoman
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I am definitely unworthy of critting this...I wouldn't know where to start. Like all I can say is that a lot of people around here probably wont get it, but those familiar with this kind of insanity will definitely be into it. Such as me. The voicings had this circle takes the square influence that I really like, but it still feels grovermans. you have something all your own, man.

Also, even though it was almost 20 minutes, you managed to make it feel more like 5 to me. It stays interesting, good job.

I know this was barely a crit but if you want to check out something of mine for whatever reason, http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1282165
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Old 03-02-2010, 11:21 PM   #15
Rwhite88
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I've gotta say I'm throughly impressed! Even though some but bits seems way too crazy, in between bars 88 and 148 and including the chorus we're just sublime mate! The clean bit at bar 88 has gotta be a definite favourite cause it blends so well together.

Keep up the great music mate!
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Old 03-03-2010, 02:25 PM   #16
Nemesis@Germany
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wtf.. huge.
a kind of prog-ness i'm not used to.

but.. woah. you've inspired me to create a 20 minute song. haha.
amazing work!
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