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Old 03-15-2010, 08:42 AM   #1
Ailes
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"The Seven Eyes Of God" (Death/Doom) - GP5/4/MID

Hello, and thank you for your interest!
Here's a song I did recently, for a local deathmetal band I'm currently helping out as a backup guitarist. So it's not exactly what I would compose privately for my own, but it's fun to do something other than your personal style once in a while. Stylistically I guess you could file it under "Death/Doom", given the slow/mid tempo, and I tried to evoke a mood that is somewhat oppressive and crushing, whilst the later parts may reference some 'melodic death' ala Amon Amarth, or you could interpret it as some sort of melodic blackmetal. Anyway, given the skill level of the Band I kept it rather easy on the techniques (well, it's doom, anyway) - it's fun to play and the audience reception live has been very favorable so far.
The string arrangements are more subdued and less symphonic than what I'd usually write. The band doesn't have a dedicated keyboarder, so I cooked up an arrangement that subtly enhances the song in a recording, but won't be missed too much live when there are only 2 guitarists. Oh and the "vocal" track is just a suggestion of some accents for the singer how he could place his growls.
The song is pretty much finished as it is, and I don't have any changes in mind so far. If you have a suggestion or criticism, why not incorporate it in the tab-form, so I can see more readily how it applies ? Anyway, I hope you enjoy listening to the song (or better, playing along). Maybe it ends up on the next album, which is currently in the writing process. I'll see what other song developments I can post. Thank you again for your interest,
Cheers!
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Old 03-15-2010, 09:11 AM   #2
Tom Araya
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Man, I checked out your song - it's good! I do like it. Esp. the last part, it's soo "Amon Amart-ish". But I think the song is too long, maybe you should cut some riffs? I dunno, but I give 7/10 for this stuff. Keep writing man! Crit mine stuff? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1288390
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Old 03-15-2010, 09:54 AM   #3
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I really like it. There's nothing I don't like or sounds bad or anything, so I would just leave it as it is. I'm interested on how it would live with vocals also. I give it a well deserved 9/10.
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Old 03-15-2010, 11:37 AM   #4
FrEaKGuItArIsT
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I've got to agree with ultimate-slash; I wouldn't really change anything, it sounds great.
You've got a really good sense of song-writing.
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Old 03-15-2010, 02:47 PM   #5
Kwonnie
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This is damned epic. It actually sounds like a mainstream band could've wrote this. Only crit I really have is that the chorus feels like it needs a more interesting lead. Otherwise it wouldn't feel like a chorus, you know? The verse is more interesting imo. Bar 132; that third note feels like it should be an F#. Tempo/time sig change is very nicely done. But do realize that a "natural" up-tempo change would be at 3/2's the original tempo.

If this band of yours produces more material like this, you have an insta-fan. 9.5/10
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Old 03-15-2010, 05:53 PM   #6
Burning_Angel
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I like this. It sounds a lot like Swallow the Sun, especially on New Moon [seriously this song could be straight from New Moon]. Even the end.

The only thing I really question is why there's no blast beats on the second "black" [tremolo picking] section.

Otherwise, I think the small problems of repetition are just a GP issue, not a song issue. With vocals, and live I think it'd be fine.

Nice job.
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Old 03-15-2010, 09:40 PM   #7
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This song kicks tremendous amounts of ass.
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Old 03-16-2010, 01:42 PM   #8
xbitmetal
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Intro bass was pretty beautiful. When guitars came in it changed alot. It was pretty beautiful ofcourse. Riff itself was pretty decent, however your song is great this far. It's pretty calm to be death metal. However I just love it. Beautiful chorus.
Riff after chorus 2 is perfectly based. I liked both of soloes. I loved verse 3, it was powerfull and blackmetal riff awesome continue for it. Outro worked well.

Got to say.. Credits for all this! It's awesome work, your music is well made!
I give 9/10. I exepted some shred in your soloes, but they were good as they was. Just awesome dude..
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Old 03-17-2010, 01:11 AM   #9
Limaj_daas
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Intro bass was awesome. I like the emptiness in the beginning... for a lack of a better word. And the marching snare drum thing was awesome.

Its probably already been said but it sounds a lot like Swallow the Sun.

The "Riff" part is nice to bob your head to but doesn't stick. The verse however does. There's some thing in the chorus that gives the first half of the riff a i dont know, nasty happy feel. i don't know it felt sightly out of place.

Verse 2 is again, awesome.

Riff is slightly repetitive but that's just gp. I'm sure it would totally fit in the song just right.

Solo was good though the change of mood threw me back initially.

Verse 3 and black metal was ballcrushingly awesome.

The start stop effect in the outro was very well times. Good job.

Pretty awesome song overall. I'm a big fan of active basslines so I was slightly put off by the bass taking a backseat after the into. However, its still awesome. A well deserved 9/10.

EDIT: Oh and if you don't mind, crit the techdeth thing in my sig.
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Old 03-17-2010, 01:31 PM   #10
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That was really ****ing good. I liked the whole feel to it, and the whole time I was listening to it I was growling along with it. I would definitely be a fan of your music if this is what you guys perform.

The only problems are that I thought the solo was a bit too minimalistic, it was still good though, and I think you guys need to definitely get a keyboardist, because the strings part added a lot to the song. 9.5/10

If you feel like C4C, youtube link is in my sig.
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Old 03-24-2010, 03:13 PM   #11
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Thanks for the crit.

First, I really don't know much about the genre, so any crit that follows is purely based on personal opinion and they may conflict with the style of music or genre.

Intro:

Was incredibly good. I loved what you did with the bass, and the rolls on the drums were also quite effective.

The melody was also quite strong, but it almost felt a little sterile, and too simplistic. I think some bends or grace slides would add tremendously to it. Also the melody seemed to imply movements and notes that were left unplayed. I could also envision the second guitar playing a really open counter melody behind the first.

I didn't really like the way you lead into the main riff though. The transition point at bar 24 felt awkward to me. The snare hit, the melody note, and the chord just didn't feel like the right way to transition.


Riff:

Not crazy about this part. Like the melody in the intro, the riff sounds like it's leading somewhere, but it never actually does. I do like the variation that you put in bars 33 and 34. Although, I think you should make the whole note that ends it into 8ths.


Verse:

This part is just epic. I would have liked to hear the drums doing a little bit more. Maybe a little syncopated kind of thing on the kick or snare. Not so much that they lose that big open and heavy feel that they've got though.


Chorus:

Not sure about this. I like the melodies you've chosen, but something about it sounds choppy. It might just be the way it sounds in midi with all those 8th notes, but something is just slightly off.



Solo:

I hated the way you transitioned into the solo. I would have ended the riff section with some big hits on the cymbals, and maybe added a crash on the first beat of the solo.

The actual melody in the solo is quite strong, but it doesn't really sound much like a solo either. It also sounded unusually happy, and for a second I though it was going to turn into the worlds slowest power metal song.

Solo 2 wasn't really a solo at all, and it didn't really do much for me.


Break through to Outro:

Awesome. The change in feel was desperately needed at this point, and the entire rest of the song couldn't have possibly been any better than it was.


Great job. There are a lot of little nit picky things that could be changed, but for the most part the strong is incredibly strong as it is. Especially for something in a genre that I'd normally avoid.
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