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Old 05-05-2010, 08:22 PM   #1
|_JR_|
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Lost Dreams [progressive instrumental, gp4/midi]

Hi guys, I'm back

This took more than a month to complete (real life got in the way a lot) and is my longest ever at 8:02. As usual, lots of ideas involved, going from metal to electronic and even post-hardcore... maybe it's a bloody mess, I don't know.

I had to use 2 zip files for gp4 and midi, the midi is kinda big.

C4C while I still can!

Cheers,
JR

EDIT Do what Macabre Turtle says and use midi! I don't use RSE in GP5.
Attached Files
File Type: zip Lost Dreams gp4.zip (21.6 KB, 430 views)
File Type: zip Lost Dreams midi.zip (89.3 KB, 115 views)
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Old 05-06-2010, 02:19 AM   #2
huevos
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The intro is so hypnotic. I really didn't know what to expect. In fact, the only thing to do is sit back and relax for the oncoming storm.

Which didn't disappoint. It's a flurry of math rock notes riding atop the lullaby.

Now when the drums enter, I found them to be a bit jarring. Throughout the entire song. I wasn't sure if it was just GP acting up, so I took a gander at the midi form of this song.
It really seems to be GP. It's not fumbling like before. This is the 1st time I've ever seen GP start to croak due to the size of the file. Awesome.

I'm on the midi now, and made it past the 1st solo. It's an eerie dreamscape of sorts, which lead superbly into a tasty riff.
The atonal solo thing is quite frightening, in a good way. Really drives the piece in a different direction.

The electronica section was really well done. That type of music rarely captures my attention, but you made it immense.

As usual, your song was well thought out, and there is little to criticize.
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Old 05-06-2010, 11:08 AM   #3
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This actually flows really really well. I never felt like two parts next to each other felt out of place. Unfortunately, or more fortunately really, I don't have much to criticize. The only bad thing I have to say is that quite a bit of the time there's just to much going on. I understand the idea of trying to be progressive but when there's four or 5 melodies going on at the same time it's just to much clutter, IMO.
I would really suggest to anybody that this be heard without the RSE. The RSE destroys the drums here and has miserable miserable effects on sections with many isntruments.

Here's a link for C4C. Though, this song makes me ashamed that I used the word progressive in my description.
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru....php?p=23655094
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Old 05-06-2010, 01:42 PM   #4
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hmm, its different to anything iv heard before, thats for sure XD
i agree with whoever said theres too much going on, its so piled up. i think you need to take some parts out, but, saying that, i love the drums, nearly all the way through. The solo was brill, and the drums excellent, but im not really a fan of the non guitar and drum parts.
id give it about a 8/10 just going on the drums and guitars, but about 5/10 overall :/
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Old 05-06-2010, 02:05 PM   #5
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^ It's not the first time people tell me that... what can I say, I like crowded stuff :/ and it makes sense in my head, then again my speakers are kinda crappy and don't let out a lot of bass, maybe the volumes are wrong for your setup. Did you listen in MIDI btw?

anyway, Macabre Turtle, I'll crit yours in a jiffy.
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Old 05-07-2010, 06:45 AM   #6
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Good work mate! Pretty much diffrent music I usually listen, but I liked it very much. Exellent work with drums, but there were some parts that I still didn't like on drums, but overall awesome drumming. Every riff have been made with time, good riffs really. Also you used keyboards pretty well in this song. (Cooldown part was awesome!) Pretty long song and haven't got really much to crit. There were some parts that I didn't like but only because they weren't my style. As many have said intro was hypnotic. I liked your both solos, but I think second one could be more intresting. Second solo start was awesome. But 117 on it was boring.

Take a look at my song? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1307631

Last edited by xbitmetal : 05-07-2010 at 06:47 AM.
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Old 05-08-2010, 12:24 PM   #7
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Hmm, well, what to say again JR. Just by the intro and what I'm up to now I'm really starting to wonder if you can write anything but masterpieces anymore.

Have you ever considered perhaps showing your music to a video game developping company or something of the sort? I think it would be mind blowing - considering the talent you have to compose music on a computer, and the constant quality of such offerings, I think you could consider doing so; if it interests you, of course .

As always your piece is meticulously calculated, from the beggining to the end, in everything from note and harmony choice, rhythm, to flow, direction and feeling; your music is really what I would call a mathematician's wet dream :P.

Nice guitar solo 2 by the way, I really enjoyed that one - it seemed much less wanky than a lot of your solo, moreso calculated and jittery, in a good way - made me feel weird and I ****ing love it, seriously.

There are few things I can go into as true improvements - everything you work on is meticulous and in the end there are a few parts which are really question of taste over question of being right or wrong - compared to your older pieces it's extremely accomplished and with time you seem to have taken every single criticism people have given you and worked on it. I can see in each of your songs I listen to, as they get newer and newer, another influence from someone else's work, and at the same time, more and more of your own identity.

There's perhaps only two things I can comment on - Your final chorus doesn't finish with enough of a bang, and your final resolution sounds happy at the end, that might be a question of taste but I didn't understand the mood choice to finish off with.

And second would be question of working hooks into your music more blatantly - your music is amazing, while you listen to it - but remembering any of it would be a great deal of work and relistening, and making parts that people could remember more easily might influence how much people end up listening to it past the first time .

Impeccable work as always. 9.9/10, because perfection doesn't exist .

Oh yeah, and if you could give me your opinion on Sensory Overload (In my siggy) I'd appreciate it man .

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Old 05-08-2010, 12:45 PM   #8
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Loved it I thought the intro was really cool It sound wuite water-y, reminded me of the flanger effect in 'Chemical Wordl' by Blur It was interesting throughout the whole song, which is quite rare and I loved all the genres entwined into this I usually have a lot of trouble combining genres which is why im so impressed 10/10

Can you take a look at my piece please Its called Los Desperados, and is in my sig

Thanks

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Old 05-08-2010, 07:01 PM   #9
|_JR_|
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Ah Jazz... that means a lot coming from you about the videogame company idea... yeah, that's a great thought, it'd be so cool for sure, but I have to keep focused in becoming a physicist... I just wouldn't have the time. Takes me so long to finish just 1 song!

About the last chorus finish, my original idea wasn't to finish there - it was actually to make a really soft outro that extended in time. But sometimes I rush things when I'm near the end of a song. xD

Hooks... they're hard I did some things like having three choruses, and the main riff twice, and using bass harmonics similar to the intro in Cooldown, and some other things, but I guess there isn't a motif that keeps throughout. I'm always afraid of being repetitive, I know sometimes it changes too much but I think of these songs as telling stories, there is continuity but they don't necessarily go back to where they came from.

Many thanks to you (and Ultrasonic too ), I'll be sure to do your crits tomorrow. Bear with me
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Old 05-08-2010, 11:39 PM   #10
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Loved it. The great detail you put into arranging all the effects and dynamics have really paid off. You really know how to bring out an almost organic quality from the midi sound. Of course, the actual musical content is also topnotch.
I'm particuarly partial to the chill part in the latter half/end. The switch to electro drums and their patterns were a joy to behold and the outgoing lead was probably my favorite so far.
Sorry if the crit isn't that long or inclusive, I'm positively enchanted and don't want to spend too much time writing when I could rather be listening to it again.

Cheers!
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Old 05-09-2010, 01:39 AM   #11
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This. Is. Amazing.

Closest thing to perfect I've ever heard in Guitar Pro.

This will be a very short crit, as there is literally almost nothing to correct...The only change I'd make is maybe to simplify the drums a little at times. They sound great, but for me they are a bit too technical sometimes, and could use a bit more...presence.

9.99/10
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Old 05-09-2010, 02:14 AM   #12
DiminishedFifth
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Wow JR. The intro is completely hypnotic. I really like how you use the guitar and the rhodes piano. It's absolutely fantastic. The only problem I can really find is that every now and then in the bass there is a bum note that creates unneeded dissonance.

the part at 1:09 I feel the rhythm guitar should be panned to the middle rather than to the left earphone. It just bothers me when stuff like that happens. It makes it feel less full... aside from that, GREAT section.

The following part is amazingly hypnotic. I can definitely hear your own style and melodies. If I had heard this from someone else I would have said "this sounds like JR". That's a good thing!

Amazing use of the keyboard in the next section! That part really builds up to the solo nicely. And the solo... oh my god. Your phrasing is ingenious. Heavily reminds me of Cynic. I don't know if you listen to them or not, but you need to. The bass is great here. Amazing stuff. I love the fade effects right before the rhythm guitar comes in.

This solo rocks. I love it. When the solo comes in in the right earphone I feel it should be harmonized... but that's just me. Once again, beautiful phrasing.

I LOVE the transition into the next part with the Warm pad. Amazing. Really. This is my favorite part BY FAR. I love it. There is nothing wrong in any way about it.

The guitar that comes in is great. Great harmony as well. Second solo. My god. Brilliant phrasing and everything. How do you write such good solos?! I wish I had half the phrasing capabilities as you :[ The solo following is amazing and the backing just makes it so much better.

5:08 - I love it. This section really reminds me of your other songs. Not in a bad way, just really your style. I like that a lot.

That was a perfect time to bring back the keyboard section.

During the "electronicy" section, I think it would sound AMAZING with some Drum n' Bass drums. Keep it up to speed and everything. This part would be amazing with that. I love your fade in effects with the guitar.

This solo that comes in is unlike most of yours... it's very slow and allows the listener to really take in all the notes. Very nice. I love the delay as well. Adds a GREAT effect. It makes me feel like this is the part of the story where the main character is going insane but is denying it. That's what I felt like when I heard it anyways.

I think you should have done the outro you had planned... I think that's where this song falls short of is a brilliant outro. The last fade-in guitars left me wanting just a little more.

Overall... I don't even know. It's a BRILLIANT song. I'm trying to decide whether or not it surpasses Frustration, but I don't know... that song is so good... but this one is as well... I don't know!

9.99/10 because some bass notes in the beginning that I can't even hear during the second play through don't count enough to knock off anything. If it wasn't for that pesky outro...

Brilliant song. Amazing.

I wish I had something to crit, but I did this out of the kindness of my heart ;] If you want you can crit one of the songs on my profile that I didn't post up here (cause I had no tabs of them) but you don't have to. Just ask which if you're going to :]

Once again... ****ing amazing song man. I envy you in so many ways.

QUICDIT: I didn't find it too cluttered anywhere honestly... I thought everything was perfectly balanced in every way.
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Old 05-09-2010, 12:11 PM   #13
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I can't ****ing believe what I just heard man. You never cease to amaze me. Do you ever plan to record this? If you do, sign me up for a first copy.
I really enjoyed the delay effect on the solo, gave it that extra kick. The electronic section was perfect for the song. You get better with every song you write. If that's even possible.
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Old 07-14-2010, 04:28 PM   #14
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Well there's really not much to crit here bu I'll do my best. I've always been a huge fan of your stuff and this song is definitely no exception.

The intro has such a cool vibe to it. It brings to mind imagery of some mysterious final fantasy-esque forest type of environment (that's probably just me, I always imagine weird things like that when I listen to music ). The mini-verse and continue verse parts are great evolutions of the intro melodies and themes. I love the subtle guitar in the background and the drumming is superb. The birdge fits perfectly and flows well ito the main riff.

The main riff was a nice contrast to the more laid back parts preceding it. Wonderful lead guitar work here as well. The flow back into verse 1 was excellent and I liked how you brought the rhodes up to a higher octave, rhodes always sounds better up higher (to me at least). The verse transition to the PHC chorus was excellent I loved the guitar riff, so intracate.

The PHC chorus was excellent, I loved the rhodes especially here. The only thing that rally bothered me was that measure of 27/16. I think it'd sound better with one extra 16th note (14/8), but that's just me. I'm not so sure I'd classify this as PHC it's too damn complex and intricate and the melodies aren't as straightforward as they'd be in a PHC song, but regardless, twas awesome.

Guitar solo was amazing, so perfect in your note choice and phrasing, really nothing to be said more about it, somewhat reminded me of guthrie govan a bit haha. Spooky interlude was definitely spooky, loved your usage of dissonance here. The rhodes fit so perfectly too. Metalawkward was awesome, reminded me of opeth a bit, it just had that evil dossonant vibe to it. Guitar solo 2 was much more shreddy thatn the first, it sounded like a combination of opeth and jeff loomis, awesome. Transition back into the chorus was perfectly.

Cooldownfit well, it was right on time to balance out the craziness haha. Excellent drum work here, I also liked the keyboard delay stuff, it kinda reminded me of some techno trance stuff haha. The final verse was so good I don't know what to say once again. The lead was so perfect, it had everything a solo should have. The polyrhythm tapping was awesome as well and it flowed well into the outro chorus and the rallentando was executed perfectly.

Wow, this entire crit was me just giving you praise haha. The only thing that really bothered me was that one measure of 27/16. Other then that I honestly can't see how this piece could possibly be improved upon. It has such a perfect balance of dynamics, and consonance and dissonance. Excellent work man, I'd be damn proud if I could write a piece like this
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Old 07-17-2010, 05:00 PM   #15
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I had to listen to the midi version because the computer I'm on doesn't have GP, just tuxguitar. The effects you have just sound awkward or nonexistent on tg.

The intro is so haunting. I love how things fade in and out and how seamlessly the time signatures flow. I love the lead ocarina. That was a really cool idea. The progression at :58 was so jazzy and really dream like with the fading guitars. The part after that was really great too. The fast rhythms allowed for things to speed up and get more exciting, which contrasted with the first few parts of the song.

Good job bringing back the ocarina. I think the chorus phrase is really cool and that it flows just fine. I love the delay effect on the solo. Your phrasing is just awesome too. Nothing gets boring and everything just flows. Good job leading into the next section.

That spooky interlude was really cool. I like the bends you added with the bass and the harmonies in the keyboard parts were especially haunting. I love the riffs that eventually follow. The solo is just insane, and very tasteful.

I really liked the transition into the chorus. It allows everything to resolve and come back together after leaving that chaotic spooky section. The electronic section was almost perfect. I think that you should come up with a solid beat though to smooth things out earlier in the section before you bring in the solo. For a bass drum I suggest you use 32. I'm not sure what it's called, but I use that when I write electronic drums.

That tapping part was amazing, btw. I think that you should return to a regular drumkit though during the outro. To me it's a big concluding moment, and there I think the electronic drums clash with the hugeness of the other instruments. Come up with a good beat and just repeat it while mixing in some fills. It will probably turn out to be very good.

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Old 07-17-2010, 06:04 PM   #16
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Really liked the song, very well composed. Might give more of a review tomorrow (in better shape then). I have one question though and it's just out of curiosity, how did you go about writing this song, and your other songs too? How did you approach and compose it?
I usually find it interesting hearing how good songwriters, well, write their songs.
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Old 07-18-2010, 06:33 AM   #17
|_JR_|
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zakatak9389
The only thing that really bothered me was that one measure of 27/16.
Well, that bar is a bit of a hit-or-miss thing, I put it there to sound a bit awkward on purpose of course it would sound more natural if I just kept it in 7/4, but this way I thought the slight break in the flow might actually be beneficial. A matter of taste really, but I see your point.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Progbass92
I think that you should return to a regular drumkit though during the outro. To me it's a big concluding moment, and there I think the electronic drums clash with the hugeness of the other instruments. Come up with a good beat and just repeat it while mixing in some fills. It will probably turn out to be very good.
Well, this matter is somewhat dealt with in the MP3 conversion - hamienet sets all drums to the same standard drumkit, and in that (I think it's on my profile) the electro sections don't sound too bad and the final chorus has that extra punch, I was pretty happy about it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yimes
how did you go about writing this song, and your other songs too? How did you approach and compose it?
Er, not an interesting story really... for this one I basically had a draft called "rhodes ftw" with the intro and verse sections and I kept adding stuff to it until it was done xD. I always start in the beginning and build from there, adding stuff I think fits, sometimes it gets a bit messy but I try to keep structure, although I'm not very good with hooks sometimes. In this song it was essentially the chorus that tried to hold it all together xD

Thanks for the comments everyone I'm just getting started on your return crit, Progbass.
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