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Old 06-08-2010, 07:34 AM   #1
frankibo
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My Songs (several different genres) (GP5, GP4)

I thought it'd be a decent idea to just upload all the songs I've written that I think are fairly decent.
Crit any song you wish to, just let me know which song obviously, and I'll get back to you with a crit ASAP if you leave me a link.

Next to the name's of the song's (which aren't finalized seeing as many of the songs don't have lyrics) I have written what genre(s) I think the song is(are) OR what genre of music influenced them.
So basically if you find generic metalcore boring I'd steer clear of the ones which are just labelled metalcore as these are mostly like pedal riffs and breakdowns galore, you know the drill by now.
The ones with metalcore and another genre in the title will be metalcore influenced but shouldn't be as generic so maybe think about critting them even if you dislike generic metalcore.
Anyway you get the gist and all that doesn't just apply to metalcore, it applies to other genres as well obviously.

Also please listen in midi as the songs haven't been mixed for RSE.

Also the Zip file containing all the songs was too large so I've broken it up into the GP5 and GP4 versions which are then broken in two. I couldn't upload the Midi cause it would exceed the limit so if you want a midi file could you request it please and I'll upload it individually.

You can basically use this page as a crit machine, there's 24 songs I think so I doubt anyone will ever crit all of the songs so if you ever need a crit just head on down and crit one of these so i can give you a crit back.

You can crit any song you like but, if possible, I'd like to have Gravity and Abyss critted as their my two newest songs. Abyss is basically just a polyrythmic experiment but I quite like how it turned out once I polished it a bit, so if you like polyrhythms and Meshuggah-influenced stuff then maybe give that a crit.
And give Enter the Asylum a crit if you can be bothered, it's just a fun piece of nonsense noise and i'd like to hear what people think of it.

Also the lead part in the final chorus in Promise with all the sweeping and shredding won't be there, i was just experimenting and forgot to take it out apparently.

I've waffled far too much so basically I look forward to receiving some crits and then returning some!

EDIT: I just added a new song i wrote, it's in the zip called Post Rock. It's pretty self explanatory, a rather repetitive 20 minute post rock song that relies on layers to retain your interest as there's only a few main riffs. The ending is pretty epic, but i think theirs too much going on so GP ****s up the drums and stuff, if you listen you'll see what i mean and you'll just have to try and look past that. It'd sound much better recorded.

EDIT 2: The link in my sig, "Colossus", takes you to the page where my newest song is hiding. It's around 25 minutes long and is sort of like a one song EP, that's my plan for it anyway.
Attached Files
File Type: zip GP4 (1).zip (50.6 KB, 557 views)
File Type: zip GP4 (2).zip (53.6 KB, 299 views)
File Type: zip GP5 (1).zip (69.4 KB, 693 views)
File Type: zip GP5 (2).zip (74.9 KB, 661 views)
File Type: zip Post rock.zip (37.2 KB, 432 views)
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Last edited by frankibo : 08-13-2010 at 05:08 AM.
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Old 06-08-2010, 07:49 AM   #2
seemeel
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I really like the chorus of Fall from Grace.
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Old 06-08-2010, 09:22 AM   #3
frankibo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seemeel
I really like the chorus of Fall from Grace.


The first or second chorus? There are two different ones.
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Old 06-08-2010, 11:10 AM   #4
herby190
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Critting Apologise as I listen (btw, it should be spelled Apologize; I don't know if the misspelling is intentional or not.

I'm liking the intro; starting at bar 9 is really pretty.

Btw, good to see someone who else likes to use bass chords, especially open-string diads.

Intro: Nice.

Chorus: A little chaotic, but I'm assuming that's what you were going for. Not the best transition out, though.

Verse: I hope you've got some lyrics to keep interest and flow here. The guitar part that adds in was a good idea.

Pre-Chorus: Kind of cool. Could have transitioned better to the chorus.

Chorus: Same as earlier; still didn't like the transition.

Verse: I like the lead here.

PreChorus: Maybe the bass should just play the notes on the low D for the 10th, 7th and 5th frets; might give it a bit more of a solid feel/flow.

Chorus: Addition to the original chorus was a good idea.

Bridge: I love this. However, that transition out killed it for me.

Solo: Pretty good; the tapping bit at the end was well-placed.

Break: Cool idea, and well executed.

Chorus: Good idea to start quiet here; nice way to change it up.

Outro: Nice way to end this.

Intro: Holy crap, the drums here sounded awesome! Great idea.


C4C?
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1322933
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Old 06-08-2010, 12:21 PM   #5
frankibo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by herby190
Critting Apologise as I listen (btw, it should be spelled Apologize; I don't know if the misspelling is intentional or not.

...

Verse: I hope you've got some lyrics to keep interest and flow here. The guitar part that adds in was a good idea.

Pre-Chorus: Kind of cool. Could have transitioned better to the chorus.

Chorus: Same as earlier; still didn't like the transition.


Thanks for the crit. I always get confused about spelling words like apologize, i don't know if it's wrong with an 's' or if both 's' and 'z' are right and one i just Americanized (<-- definitely a 'z' there haha)

I don't have lyrics yet but there would definitely be lyrics and i agree the transitions need work.
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Old 06-08-2010, 05:23 PM   #6
metul kult
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Abyss sounds like the frickin world is ending man. Like the hand of god is coming down on everybody, but he's doing it in slow motion so EVERYONE can see.
It's hard to crit this style of song piece by piece so I'll just try to do a general overview.
I don't understand how you can keep up with some of these rhythms, haha. Personally, I love polyrhythms, but I'm still yet to figure out how the hell that all stays in 4/4
You have some very good layering too, and made good use of the koto to put that extra doomy, deathy feel to it. The song itself is quite frightening, and could probably scare many small children :P
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Old 06-08-2010, 05:39 PM   #7
Carl6661
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Quote:
Originally Posted by herby190
Critting Apologise as I listen (btw, it should be spelled Apologize; I don't know if the misspelling is intentional or not.


Some of us are English, you know.

Just giving some of the songs a listen now. I wont go into detail so much, I'll just generalize.

The Sun Will Rise is awesome. 10/10.

Live Wire was a good listen, postchourus reminded me of Deathcar. Verses sounded like a little something Reuben might do, in parts. Another 10/10 from me.

Lost, started making sense to me as more instruments came in. I wasn't sure at first though, but as a whole, I liked it. 8/10, just because I wasn't sure at the very begining.
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Last edited by Carl6661 : 06-08-2010 at 05:57 PM.
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Old 06-08-2010, 06:02 PM   #8
frankibo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carl6661
Live Wire was a good listen, postchourus reminded me of Deathcar.


Thanks for the crit and the praise
And yes that postchorus is a bit too strongly influenced by Deathcar if i'm honest
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Old 06-09-2010, 09:49 AM   #9
Carl6661
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Quote:
Originally Posted by frankibo
Thanks for the crit and the praise
And yes that postchorus is a bit too strongly influenced by Deathcar if i'm honest


I wouldn't say it's too obvious, to be honest. I mean, Deathcar has several time sig' changes in the verse/main riff thingy (Whatever you want to call it). From what I remember about this song, that was mostly 4/4. It was the 668 chord stabs that gave it away for me. You'd have to be a pretty big Fightstar-bore to pick up on that
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Old 06-09-2010, 12:17 PM   #10
frankibo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carl6661
You'd have to be a pretty big Fightstar-bore to pick up on that


Yeah you probably would, but I do that with your songs as well, find the smallest things that are similar to fightstar songs
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Old 06-09-2010, 12:28 PM   #11
Carl6661
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Quote:
Originally Posted by frankibo
Yeah you probably would, but I do that with your songs as well, find the smallest things that are similar to fightstar songs


I don't blame you for that, alot of my stuff sounds considerabley like them. Which yeah, I like, but I don't want to just be ripping them off with EVERYTHING I write. But I haven't really finished a song decently for a few months now, with any luck, stuff will soon pick up though.
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I don't like Avenged Sevenfold anymore. I was 14 when I joined & the 6661 in the username seemed a great idea at the time. Sigh.
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Old 06-09-2010, 02:18 PM   #12
Ometh
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I'm not going to do a full crit, but some of your songs are good (Masquerade, Lost, Live Wire) and some of them are absolutely awfull (I dont care if you swing). Seriously, in that song you try too hard to be awkward and "br00tulz". And there was another like that but I forgot the name of if lol.

EDIT: Fxied mai pseling.

Last edited by Ometh : 06-09-2010 at 02:21 PM.
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Old 06-09-2010, 03:25 PM   #13
herby190
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Critting "Lost" as I listen:

I like this bassline, and the drums that add in are great.

Wow, this keeps getting better; the guitars are great too.

The part where all the instruments start doing dotted halves is cool.

At 81, I think the guitars should have a chord to hold out over the bassline.

Starting at 105, it seems like you might want to bring a new riff in.

Scratch that; the triplets on the first guitar definitely cover that.

Wow; the strings are a great idea; it makes it very epic.

The ending is nice too.

I really don't have any complaints; I mean, there's only really one main progression in the song, but you made it work pretty well.

I'm going to be back to crit more later. For now, I updated Interlude; would you mind checking it out again?
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Old 06-09-2010, 03:39 PM   #14
frankibo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ometh
some of them are absolutely awfull (I dont care if you swing). Seriously, in that song you try too hard to be awkward and "br00tulz"


Really? That's one of the ones i prefer. I mean you're entitled to your opinion but i don't think i tried to be brutal at all in that song. The intro is just meant to be epic and atmospheric, the verses are meant to be chaotic and i experimented with different harmonization instead of just thirds and the breakdown has a swing feel to it, which isn't brutal at all
A lot of the song is just meant to be pretty funky so i'm surprised you got the vibe you did from it.

But each to their own i guess.

Anything you want me to crit?

And if possible could you go through and let me know what you actually didn't like about some of the other songs, i'm all for improving. And for every song you crit i'll C4C of course
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Last edited by frankibo : 06-09-2010 at 03:46 PM.
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Old 06-09-2010, 03:52 PM   #15
frankibo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carl6661
I don't blame you for that, alot of my stuff sounds considerabley like them. Which yeah, I like, but I don't want to just be ripping them off with EVERYTHING I write. But I haven't really finished a song decently for a few months now, with any luck, stuff will soon pick up though.


Nah i don't think you've ever ripped something off completely but i can often see the influence.
I look forward to hearing any new material you might produce, it always makes me happy to see what you create
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Old 06-09-2010, 04:25 PM   #16
Ometh
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Quote:
Originally Posted by frankibo
Really? That's one of the ones i prefer. I mean you're entitled to your opinion but i don't think i tried to be brutal at all in that song. The intro is just meant to be epic and atmospheric, the verses are meant to be chaotic and i experimented with different harmonization instead of just thirds and the breakdown has a swing feel to it, which isn't brutal at all
A lot of the song is just meant to be pretty funky so i'm surprised you got the vibe you did from it.

But each to their own i guess.

Anything you want me to crit?

And if possible could you go through and let me know what you actually didn't like about some of the other songs, i'm all for improving. And for every song you crit i'll C4C of course


Lol sorry if I came out as rude, I'm a **** by nature lol. And I was refering to the chaotic parts at the begining, they sound really forced IMO. I eventually regreted posting that comment because later in the song there are some really good parts, espeacially the ending lol, oh well. And thanks, but there is no need for C4C since the song on my sig is rather old, and unfortunately I haven't written almost anything decent since

EDIT: forgot to post the smiley lol.

Last edited by Ometh : 06-09-2010 at 04:26 PM.
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Old 06-13-2010, 06:20 PM   #17
frankibo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ometh
Lol sorry if I came out as rude, I'm a **** by nature lol. And I was refering to the chaotic parts at the begining, they sound really forced IMO. I eventually regreted posting that comment because later in the song there are some really good parts, espeacially the ending lol, oh well. And thanks, but there is no need for C4C since the song on my sig is rather old, and unfortunately I haven't written almost anything decent since

EDIT: forgot to post the smiley lol.


Ah okay. Well if you have anything you ever want me to crit just let me know seeing as i'm now indebted to you
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Last edited by frankibo : 06-16-2010 at 06:26 AM.
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Old 06-16-2010, 11:34 AM   #18
Carl6661
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the post rock song is fantastic, the intro reminded me a bit of the soft section in Tonight We Burn by Fightstar. awesome start. the drums were simplistic when they came, but did the job perfectly. the beat on the drums in 41, again, simple, but perfect for what you're going for. the lead guitar, people will say it's not technical enough, i get that on here quite alot. if people say that, ignore it. i think its great. the harmony was a nice addition to it aswell.

the drums change up to a ride, a little predictable, but none the less, great . act II didn't really flow, i blame that totally on guitar pro though. songs always sound better recorded. the leads, yet again, simple, but really atmospheric and awesome. the song is very 'explosions in the sky'-esque. the octave things sounded cool aswell, lots of layers that are all complimenting each other very well . act III, again, started a bit abruptly, i blame GP though. sounding great so far, i can find nothing wrong with the song. act IV, i'm realising how long this song is, so i'm begining to generalize stuff a bit, sorry. sounds amazing, i'm loving the marching-snare type thing it has. act V led on from the section before very nicely. it was nice for the drums to finally use some cymbals though, really gave it an epic sound. act VI, the drums were especially cool here, with the cymbal stuff, then the tom stuff. act VII, i'm hearing overdriven guitars coming in, sounds like a build up to something. if this dosent build up to some epic stuff i'm going to be dissapointed . goes on a while, but still pretty good. act VIII, okay. i'm totally not dissapointed. this is amazing. act vIIII, as i said, all of your layers compliment each other. the synth arpeggios were a really cool touch. act X sounds great, i love the synth stab thing it has at first on the fx (rain) track. at bar 361, it gets really awesome. guitar 2 has that ringy out chord thing going on, which i love. the end, works pefectly, when i saw it, i expected just a standard fade out. but i like how it fades to synth, then that fades out.

86/10. no questions asked.
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Old 06-16-2010, 01:11 PM   #19
frankibo
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Thanks for the praise i'll give the transitions a look, see if they can be improved
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Old 06-16-2010, 05:00 PM   #20
Carl6661
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Quote:
Originally Posted by frankibo
Thanks for the praise i'll give the transitions a look, see if they can be improved


i really do just think that's down to guitar pro, even with the greatest soundcard and the best MIDI sounds, stuff always sounds a million times better outside of Guitar Pro/standard MIDI.
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