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Old 06-20-2010, 08:15 AM   #1
inyourgirlagain
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"The Hero Must Die" C4C

This song took me 3 days to make. It's sorta metal-esque and has some progressive elements in it. I hope you guys like it!! ROCK ON!

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Old 06-20-2010, 12:42 PM   #2
Meelad360
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First of all, let me say that I love your user name
Okay, well the first thing that I hear in this track is the acoustic part, which in my opinion needs to be mixed louder, I kind of want to hear the arpeggiation pop...kinda like this I don't really like Metallica, so I'm not a fanboy, but this is just a good example. Next, bring down the distortion just so I can discern the parts a little bit. However, when the drums come in it sounds better. At 1:42 make sure you keep in time when you come back in with the little lead part. Same with 2:40.

Remember to take my advice (and everyone's) with a grain of salt however.

What I absolutely LOVED was the entire feel of the piece, as well as the fade in/fade out (or panning?) trill at the end. In my opinion you've got some gold, you just need to polish it up. Oh also, for the solo, I was expected some generic Kirk Hammett pentatonic solo but you totally threw me off guard Good job, that's definitely something you want :P

All in all, awesome!
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Old 06-20-2010, 02:22 PM   #3
inyourgirlagain
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Thanks for your critique bro! It is off time at those parts but that's because the drums got sort of messed up after i programmed them :S, so I couldn't really do anything about them. As for the mixing of it, I agree with you but I'm not sure how to make the arpeggio "pop" but I'll figure it out :P Thank you for acknowledging the solo man, I think it's one of my best. Again thank you for your critique!
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Old 06-21-2010, 04:10 AM   #4
Benjami
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great piece you got there man
the song is good and i like the riffs and ideas alot.
your tone might need some work though, as Meelad360 said, turn down the distortion a bit, and maybe you could add some more bass as well?
the rest is awesome man, i liked the solo to that was cool ^^

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Old 06-21-2010, 08:45 AM   #5
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Not bad at all dude, mixwise like everyone else has said, the distortion needs to be less powerful, it's so powerful that it's overwhelming everything. The riffs and ideas aren't bad at all, but I have heard riffs really similar to this many many times before, I think you can come up with better , The drums and guitar also fell out of time quite often. The bass also needs turning up. Otherwise you're doing well for your age and I can see you're coming on as a guitarist with that solo of yours at the end . Keep it up man x
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Old 06-21-2010, 09:27 AM   #6
inyourgirlagain
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Thanks for your kind words guys, I wish I could mix stuff better but I'm just starting out. Haha I'm so glad people like my stuff. I agree that a riff in there was generic but it just fit in the song and I thought "why should I change it if it sounds good" but everyone has their own opinion. Thanks for listening rock on!
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Old 06-21-2010, 12:08 PM   #7
CDubDSP
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Thanks for critting my song. I listened to your track and here are my thoughts. The first thing I noticed is that the clean part of the intro was really quiet. I had to turn my speakers up pretty high and then when the heavier part came in it about blew my windows out. Okay, exaggerating a little bit, but I do think you could do a better job balancing the levels. Some of the drum parts felt a little weird, specifically between 2:30 and 3:00. I dug the solo after the 3 minute mark, nice pinches too. I really liked that (tapping?) part at the end where you panned the audio, it was a nice touch and not too distracting. Good job
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Old 06-21-2010, 01:59 PM   #8
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Yeah the clean part was too quiet and the clean rhythm sounded like DI with no EQ or work done to it at all. Lots of timing issues. I think the content is pretty sweet, but not really my type of music. I think if you get your volume/timing issues worked out, it'll be pretty sick.
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Old 06-21-2010, 03:45 PM   #9
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crit as I listen: like the clean intro, though the guitar could use just a bit of eq tweaking. nice pattern, but now the distorted lead line comes in the clean may deserve a bit more juice. cool change in tempo, but i'd recommend moving things away from the center of the mix, as in separating out the rhythm from the lead, panning each slightly so it doesn't sit right in the middle. cool harmonies, those work sitting on top of each other. now that i think about it tone is a just a tad bit washy for my taste, but that's a personal thing obviously. cool bridge, like that you brought in a groove with the snare. weird hiccup in the kick drum though. solo entrance could be a little bit more epic, but i like the melody of the solo. toms, nice. cool change in speed again. nice fade out ending. Overall I liked it quite a bit, just work on the way you situate the mix and (if you're not happy with your tone) search around for a different sound. enjoyable though!

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Old 06-21-2010, 04:34 PM   #10
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Man, the song itself is really good and is solid... so you know you have something there, you just have to correct your recording issues. I'm not sure what amp you have, but you really need to try and get a better overall tone, not only too much distortion, but too much treble!
Like others said, work on your timing (I realize it can get screwed up in recording). But overall, really, really good song dude.
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Old 06-22-2010, 11:38 PM   #11
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Haha, rock on indeed, man! That was cool stuff! The intro, though very sweet, kind of gave me the wrong impression of what the rest of the piece was going to be like. I love how it starts quiet and sweet and then all of a sudden you're melting faces with the riffage. I got a bit of a Megadeth vibe from the guitar work.

I'm actually going to have to disagree with DTay and say that your tone is awesome. Although that basically boils down to a matter of opinion. But I'm definitely a fan. Thanks for critting my piece, and more importantly, thanks for introducing me to this beast of a piece of yours! Rock on!
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Old 06-23-2010, 02:35 AM   #12
inyourgirlagain
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Dude thank you man! haha as a matter of fact, the main arpeggio-riff was influenced by megadeth :P. Yeah I suppose you're right, the tone is just a matter of opinion! Thanks for listening!
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Old 06-23-2010, 11:42 AM   #13
tsoun-net
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Hi, thanks for your comment on my thread !

Your song is very good, and the only thing I don't really like is the tone of the distorded guitars. Also, the clean parts need to be a little louder.

Other than that, it's pretty good.
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Old 06-24-2010, 02:02 PM   #14
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If if may inject a recommendation for the soft intro; use an acoustic guitar. That way, you can get the "pop" that someone else was looking for as the soundwaves bounce around the hollow body. You'd lose the spooky, chimey effect of you have on the current guitar part, but the authenticity of the acoustic sound would outweigh that in my book.

Anything else I have to say has already been said. I enjoyed the piece, and I'm curious to see what form future compositions might take. Good luck, and thanks for the crit of my piece!
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Old 06-24-2010, 02:29 PM   #15
ethan_hanus
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Nice, at first I was like, WTF is this, I expected something epically thick seeing a thread with over 10 responses, then it all kicked in and I was like

This is a good song, it's recorded wonderfully, personally to much mids on the rythem guitars for me, but the quality is great. Keep it up man.


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Old 06-25-2010, 07:57 AM   #16
Daemos
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Thanks for you comment!

First things first - watch out for clipping you don't have tooo much here, but every now and then the peaks are over loading very slightly - for example the toms at about 1:15. It might be individual tracks clipping, it might be the master, or it might even be happening inside the plugins. But whenever you get this kind of clipping hunt it down and subject it to a cruel and painful death/

I have to agree with those saying the distortion is too much. Most likely if you're using a high gain pedal or amp/software you only need gain turned a little above 12 o'clock - especially when recording. You should be getting your 'bite' from your mid setting.

I'd love to hear some vocals on here, sounds like clean vocals would fit well here - someone with a very clear singing voice - this song could even work very well with female vocals, with the odd growl perhaps interspersed at the heavier moments.

As a song this is good. The playing is nice aside from the odd slight slip in timing - if you have the time I suggest finding out how to 'punch-in' on tracks in your software if you haven't already used this technique, and correcting those slips. This will immediately make a vast difference to how 'professional' your piece sounds. But as I was saying, composition wise, this is a really good job, I love the upbeat feel you have here, and the song is very catchy, every single riff is solid or even excellent. The solo is also impressive. Just work on your mixing, watch out for those overloads, and keep up the hard work!
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Old 06-25-2010, 02:23 PM   #17
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i didnt read through everbody elses crit so this might have been said but some parts sounded alittle sloppy joe mostly when the rythem guitar (i think) is doing a little lead part under the lead guitar and the distortion needs to be turned down alittle.Over all i loved the feel of it,i think some lyrics would complement this song very well.keep up the good work.
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Old 06-26-2010, 07:54 PM   #18
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How did you record this? I will be able to help a little more with making it better if I knew how you got your signal into your computer. I would bring the levels up on the very beginning. I like it, especially that chorus you keep coming back to. The electronic drums are pretty good, but when you find a drummer you should record real drums.

I feel that you have a lot of talent. At your age when I started, people probably thought I had some sort of mental ******ation when I played. Not to mention I had a guitar from Sam's club which had plastic tuning pegs. Anyway, let me know what you recorded with and I'll elaborate a bit more on what you could do to improve on it. From just listening I feel it sounds pretty good except the beginning where it's not loud enough.
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Old 06-26-2010, 09:19 PM   #19
Kwonnie
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Intro is very nicely done. I recommend working on your timings a bit. Riff going into the verse reminds me of a few j-rock bands due to the drumming, methinks x.o. Try to spread your guitar's frequencies out a little more; it sounds pretty muffled. Also, you might wanna try hard panning too ;]

Loving the tune and unlike most stuff I see on here, I think I might come back for repeated listens ;o
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Old 06-27-2010, 04:12 AM   #20
inyourgirlagain
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gabestigmatic
How did you record this? I will be able to help a little more with making it better if I knew how you got your signal into your computer. I would bring the levels up on the very beginning. I like it, especially that chorus you keep coming back to. The electronic drums are pretty good, but when you find a drummer you should record real drums.

I feel that you have a lot of talent. At your age when I started, people probably thought I had some sort of mental ******ation when I played. Not to mention I had a guitar from Sam's club which had plastic tuning pegs. Anyway, let me know what you recorded with and I'll elaborate a bit more on what you could do to improve on it. From just listening I feel it sounds pretty good except the beginning where it's not loud enough.


I used a program called Reaper and I recorded through my pedal. I will definitely re-record this song when I find a whole band :P. Thank you for your critique and kind words, I really really appreciate it!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kwonnie
Intro is very nicely done. I recommend working on your timings a bit. Riff going into the verse reminds me of a few j-rock bands due to the drumming, methinks x.o. Try to spread your guitar's frequencies out a little more; it sounds pretty muffled. Also, you might wanna try hard panning too ;]

Loving the tune and unlike most stuff I see on here, I think I might come back for repeated listens ;o


Thank you for your kind words Thank you everyone!!
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Last edited by inyourgirlagain : 06-27-2010 at 04:13 AM.
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