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Old 06-28-2010, 06:44 PM   #1
Progbass92
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Arrow Step Outside- Progressive Instrumental (GP4/5, MIDI) C4C

Hey guys, here's a new instrumental for you all to look at. I didn't do as much experimenting as I did with "Tempest" but I did make good use of the electronic drums for the first time. I decided to make this song the first movement of a super-instrumental and Tempest will be the second as soon as I figure out a way to connect the two.

Concerns:

How is the pacing? Does it move through things too quickly? Does anything drag out too long?

Is the sax a good addition?

Should the ending be different?
Feel free to comment on anything else.
C4C- I'll write back as much as you write me.
Thanks
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Last edited by Progbass92 : 06-28-2010 at 10:14 PM.
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Old 06-28-2010, 06:53 PM   #2
DontPushMongo
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dude...
thats was one of the best things i've heard in a while.
like actually that was amazing.
i can't think of any criticisms.
no c4c needed.
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Old 06-29-2010, 02:45 PM   #3
StringAssassin
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Wow, that was amazing. First, I wanna say thank you for making the bass pretty much a lead part. The most stand-out part for me was the guitar solo at bar 139. The whole mood of it was very chill. Great work on keeping all of the instruments active.
No criticism here.
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Old 06-30-2010, 12:52 AM   #4
Danul454
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I'm gonna review this one piece by piece:

Bars 1-8: Nice riff, seems a lil fast for clean but I'm sure it'd sound much more natural from an actual guitar.

Bars 9-16: I really like the riff in this part. It does an amazing job of complimenting the clean in the background. It also sounds great with the delay effect.

Bars 17-32: You do a nice job of bringing the energy up right here. The complexity of the bass and the little solo from the guitar really help with this.

Bars 33-40: Nice piano solo. Having them trade off like they do was a good idea and I like the guitar adapting to be used as a rhythm instrument.

Bars 41-44: Not as good as the rest so far, but smart to start the odd signatures there to get the audience ready for them in the next section.

Bars 45-72: I love the signatures here. Every instrument is still doing a great job of establishing its own important role in the song.

Bars 73-80: Good transition, still love the signatures, nice harmony for the guitars and bass. Only one thing, the last two notes in the 7/8 parts sound out of the scale. It's still tolerable, I just think it could be better if they kept in the scale.

Bars 81-100: I'm not a huge fan of this personally. The second and third chord in this section just sound really out of place.

Bars 101-110: Really good job here. Every instrument does an amazing job working with one another. Every bit of this part is just amazing. Seriously.

Bars 111-118: Very nice clean part. Still lovin the signature.

Bars 119-122: I separated this section from the last solely to point out how much I like the drums and synth at this part. So yeah, good job with that.

Bars 123-130: Nice, very calm, lead part. The only idea I have is to make the delay a normal quarter note. I tested it and liked it better, but that may just be me. When it's a dotted quarter, however, it's hard to really hear the delay effect.

Bars 131-138: Nice solo. The sax part is definitely really good, but I'm not sure its timbre would work all too well with the other instruments. It's kinda hard to really tell until you hear the actual instruments, but just know that the music is definitely good, it's just using the sax in a rock/metal song seems a little iffy.

Bars 139-146: Good harmonies. Nice job of giving the guitar and the sax their own little solos every now and again.

Bars 147-175: Epic outro. As I listened, I expected all of it to fade out together slowly, starting at bar 159, but I like what you did, too. I think I'd have the piano fade out after two bars when the sax takes over, and have the sax continue what it does for another 6-8 bars while slowly fading out with the synth.

Overall, splendid job. 9/10. I'd definitely buy a recorded version of this.

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Old 06-30-2010, 04:10 AM   #5
Gulli05
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Progbass92, you never cease to amaze me. Now, into studio with you!!! Now!!

Seriously this is an amazing piece. I love it from intro to end. It's amazing it's just all I can say.
Yes, the sax was a nice addition, really fitted the guitar solo.

I really don't know what else you want me to say - But here is a summary of my review: "Awesome song!!"
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Old 06-30-2010, 09:21 AM   #6
SOADisdabest
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Hey thanks for the crit on my song.

Bars 1-16: Interesting riff, quite upbeat and catchy. Drums and Lead here are awesome.

17-32: Love the bassline in this part.

33-44: The rhodes bit here was fantastic, love the panning.

45-72: This riff flows so nicely and when the pad and the rhodes comes in it is godly. Favourite part of the song so far.

73-100: Everything here flows quite nicely, pretty interesting chords.

112-118: The transition was a little bit abrupt but still sounds pretty good, nice change of pace.

131-147: The sax solo was one of the highlights of the song for me, I loved the jazzy feel and the way the guitar solo plays over it.

148-Fin: Awesome build up of energy for the end and the way it ends with the keys and sax is amazing.

I wish I could give a more useful crit but this pretty much sounds perfect to me. Overall I'd give it a 9/10.
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Old 07-01-2010, 09:23 PM   #7
JazzDeath
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Holy.
****ing.
Shit.


Dude.


I will point out singular areas of flaw in this song because there'S no point in me reviewing the rest, it's just mindblowingly good, and the sections that work could not be better.

Measure 41 - Your lead melody (treble line) Fades into the chords after the third note - do something on the higher register to keep that going, right now it makes the middle of the measure and beggining of the next measure a bit awkward.

BAr 76 - that last note rings out, and not in the nice dissonance way to my ear, in the "ow that breaks the flow a bit" way...

bar 81 - change the loudness of your chords to Mezzoforte so that you can hear that Rhodes better and make it less aggressive to the ears.

111 - Works, but could have a distorted chord that either fades or comes out quickly, or a punch, because the section before is really powerful, you could really punch that climax one last time.

The pace is perfect.

The sax is a wonderful solo addition, very nice tone to it and would sound godly with a real sax.

The ending, with the piano coming on top, lovely, goddamn brilliant.

Wonderful piece, blew me away, but my favorite parts are definitely the beggining, which gave me the same feeling Cynic's extremely well crafted pieces does, and the ending, which was moving emotionally. Nicely done, really.
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Old 07-02-2010, 01:27 AM   #8
Progbass92
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Thanks for the return crit, JazzDeath.

The part at measure 41 was intentional because when I record it, I actually want those notes to ring out, so I kept it as a broken chord. It just sounded really bad when I let it to "let ring" so I kept it as it is.

At bar 76, I decided to take the "let ring" effect off the warm pad and the keyboard parts and it sounds much better. The notes are out of key, but it resolves better when the effect is taken off.

I agree with you on measure 81. I felt it was too overpowering. I'll definitely change that.

I'm a lot happier with the dropout at measure 111. I think having a chord ring out will ruin the feel that I want out of that section, so I think I'll be keeping it as it is.

Thank you for the suggestions though. I appreciate your toughness.
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Old 07-02-2010, 01:53 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Danul454
using the sax in a rock/metal song seems a little iffy.


Have you never heard of King Crimson, Dave Matthews, Ihsahn, or Weather Report?
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Old 07-02-2010, 03:25 AM   #10
Danul454
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Progbass92
Have you never heard of King Crimson, Dave Matthews, Ihsahn, or Weather Report?


Actually I had never listened to any of them until I read your post. Couldn't find an example for King Crimson, the examples for Dave Matthews and Weather Report I found were way softer than your song, and I did not like the Ihsahn example I found. Regardless, after relistening to it and considering how it has worked out with other musicians that don't necessarily use saxaphone regularly, I s'pose it could work out nicely. It is an excellent solo, after all.
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Old 07-02-2010, 04:24 AM   #11
StringAssassin
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Mr. Bungle has some nice sax parts and they get pretty heavy.
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Old 07-02-2010, 10:36 AM   #12
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I agree the sax solo would sound amazing. Porcupine tree does it in their earlier stuff alot.

the song: Wow man its awesome. I agree with what everyone's been saying about measure 81. maybe a bit softer and let the other instruments provide the main melody/notes. Have yo uthought about playing the basic chords on guitar and playing the added notes and in between crazy notes on a different instrument, like the rhodes you have going there? It's a useful technique cause people don't feel weird about crazy notes in keys alot of times. 108 destroys me that part is awesome leading into the clean part. love the ending as well great build up. your solos are quirky in a jazz improvised sense but they work most of the time. Im sensin a little Periphery influence there too. Great job keep it up.

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Old 07-02-2010, 07:14 PM   #13
DiminishedFifth
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It's been so long, and you keep growing as a writer. It's interesting... I remember back when you first started posting here. You're style has changed so much since then! You've grown exponentially.

Having said all of that, I have to say... this isn't one of your strongest songs. Now, don't get me wrong, it is great. You've just done better before.

It seemed to me that there were mixing problems throughout. Certain things were too loud, where other parts were unheard or the melody gets lost in translation in various places. When the melody comes out though (like at bars 33 and 53) they're amazing. Really good stuff! It just seems like you should lower the volume of some things (at measure 70, make the rhodes' volume to 11. It lets the guitar shine more and it doesn't mix up too much).

For Bar 81... make the rhythm guitar at 11. It loses that overpowering "punch" it has right now if you do that. Not gonna lie though, that 3rd chord doesn't roll well with me. It just seems so... out of place. Kinda like you couldn't find anything that fits to go after it so you just threw it in there.

I love how you used the electronic drums. I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking about putting them in a heavy song haha

The sax solo is really good. I normally don't like Sax all that much, but you used it good.

I love how the piano ends the song. I do think a better way to end the song would be to delete that last measure (sad, piano... everything that's in it) and add what you did with the piano after it playing solo. And then instead of an arpeggio at the end just let it ring out. I'll attach what I mean :3

Not gonna lie... the intro reminds me Pokemon xD

9/10 :]

When I put up my newest song, I'll be back to ask for a crit ;] I wanna get a good ways into it first though.

P.S. The attachment will also have my Mixing fixes. There's not many, but there are some!
Attached Files
File Type: zip Step Outside - ProgBass.zip (9.0 KB, 19 views)
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Old 07-03-2010, 01:18 PM   #14
Progbass92
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Ok, so I took DiminishedFifth's advice on the ending and used his idea with a little rallantando at the end. I'm keeping the chord progression at 81 because I like how it creates tension and then resolves. The harmony is a little strange to some, but it works. Mixing will be taken care of when the song is recorded. It's not really a concern right now, but I do appreciate the input.

Here's what I've got now.
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File Type: zip Step Outside -Improvements included.zip (28.9 KB, 28 views)
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Old 07-03-2010, 05:42 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Progbass92
Mixing will be taken care of when the song is recorded.

That you said this makes me happy.

I like that ending a lot more. Good job with the fading sax. This ending adds a lot more to the song, me thinks. And it makes it an easy transition into the next song, cause I know you like that stuff ;]

I got my new song up for C4C!

Thank you :]
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Old 07-04-2010, 06:07 PM   #16
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Just to say twothings :
- The end is wonderful. You can be proud of this! (check Shining's "Black Jazz" and Zu's "Carboniferous" for somme great Saxophone)
- Be careful of the too-much effect. as a BTBAM fan, I find that there's a narrow path between too-much and mindblowing. Don't lose the efficiency of your tracks, but never restrained your creativity!
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