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Old 07-19-2010, 12:01 AM   #1
vicarious46
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Assachusetts
Hammerhead

C4C

Hey everyone again! One of my newer pieces. It was originally only the 1st, 3rd, n 4th stanza but i revisited this because I felt express myself moreso through this topic.

Tear it apart, and feel free to leave some criticism, positive or negative. I could use it because i would like to progress as a writer. Thanks!


Sense my field
Complicate me please
Hold me close
To thrash me round

A product of nature
With the devilís impression
Quenching thirst
A personal selection
Bones may shatter
And connections dwindle
But you entered murky waters
Flaunting life before the sickle

Come closer, I feel you
Grasp the desire
Come closer, I smell you
An ounce of blood
Come closer, I taste you
A craving so bitter

Sense your field
Need your disease
Tear the flesh
Donít make a sound

Thrust, jerk, clash
Blind outburst
Muscles have become stiff

Thrust, jerk, clash
Blind outburst
Heightened stimulation

Thrust, jerk, clash
Blind outburst
Until this temptationís no longer erect
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