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Old 07-21-2010, 08:07 PM   #1
Geetahr811
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Join Date: Jul 2010
"Melody"

Hey guys. Been awhile since I put up another one of my crap poems so I thought I'd put one up that I wrote today... Been getting kinda hard to write for some reason...I think I've hit "the wall", haha. Anywho, here's the song. Any and all critiques will be appreciated, so please don't hesitate to do so. Thanks.

"Melody"

I've just begun to hear the music again
The rhythms in echoes
The melodies in silence.
We're the harmony that shouldn't be.

You're the melody I'll hum till I decay.*
Slowly turning into the music,
That'll turn the both of us insane.
Don't act like I'm wrong...
It'll just end up another song...*

This melody has become my anthem,
The way I hear you singing
The way I can't feel myself breathing
It's always been my needing,*
That pushes you further and further away.
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Old 07-21-2010, 08:12 PM   #2
miloh.core
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Join Date: Apr 2010
hmm.
i wasn't into it at first.
but after a couple more read throughs,
i changed my mind.

its short.
it's sweet.
i like it.
__________________
i am the lamb.
point me to the slaughter.
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