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Old 08-17-2010, 10:57 AM   #1
24WildRovers
The Wild Hippy Rover
 
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Join Date: May 2008
My Verse

Rhymes and rhythms
Lines and meters
I will use
When writing my verse

But Sean stills laughs
And he says
I never use
(Instrumental line)

Rhymes and rythms
Lines meters
I will use
Whem writing my verse

But it's I who laughs
For Sean tries
Like a blind
Man describing the moon


Rhymes and rhythms
Lines and meters
I will use
When writing my verse

Added verses, tell me if I should keep, change or just omit

c4c, just leave a link and I will give my best critique on my next chance
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I am the 24 Wild Rovers
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Last edited by 24WildRovers : 08-17-2010 at 11:39 AM.
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Old 08-17-2010, 11:03 AM   #2
Knucklehead Dyl
oi oi oi
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Perth, WA
It's a bit short.
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Old 08-17-2010, 11:32 AM   #3
24WildRovers
The Wild Hippy Rover
 
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Join Date: May 2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Knucklehead Dyl
It's a bit short.

I know, I am still working on my writing skills. I am trying to think what else I'd write here
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