08-26-2010, 11:53 AM
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#1 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2007
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untitled
Ok. So, I'm kind of new to the whole song writing thing. This is the first song that I've actually gotten somewhere with. Any suggestions will help. I wrote this song to help me lighten up about a break up and whatnot. So...here it is. As I've said...it needs work. A lot. Haha
I have not a word to say on this sick ungrateful day these thoughts burn a hole in my skull yet I can't find the words they told Just scream until no air pours from your lungs Just scream so we may terrify true love and one day while you're laying there in your extra large bikini-wear I hope that you regret the day you turned your back on me Just scream until no air pours from your lungs Just scream so we may terrify true love and if you say to me today you forgive everything I did well I'll say run away run away These feelings I still have for you seem way beyond untrue the tears I've shed in bed will come back time and time again Just scream until no air pours from your lungs Just scream so we may terrify true love and if the only thing you say to me is nothing more than just okay I'll scream until no air pours from my lungs I'll scream and I will terrify true love Last edited by hyc33 : 08-26-2010 at 11:57 AM. |
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08-26-2010, 12:08 PM
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#2 | |
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Ridding sanity
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Maldives
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You should giv it the title "Scream"..
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08-26-2010, 03:12 PM
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#3 | |
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HeWhoEatsTheMostDimes
Join Date: Dec 2008
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Quote:
Overall a good piece, especially for a first time. With work you could make this into a true masterpiece! |
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08-26-2010, 03:22 PM
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#4 | |
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Ridding sanity
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Maldives
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Song stuck in my head, I would luv to compose the music for u but am a bit busy wit my own...
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08-26-2010, 03:25 PM
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#5 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2007
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Hey, thanks! =D I don't really know how I want it to sound yet though...so far, everything's been on acoustic. I'll probably bust out my electric later tonight and see what I come up with.
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08-27-2010, 01:49 PM
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#6 | |
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Ridding sanity
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Maldives
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i composed sumthin for da chorus in my head... sounds great.. hahah
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08-27-2010, 04:57 PM
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#7 |
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x
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: mexico city
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read the rules. if you don't have a title, use "untitled" next time.
kfnxbi. |
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08-29-2010, 07:39 AM
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#8 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2010
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ur better than me in songwriting. the part about the bikini sounds a little strange but otherwise its good.
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