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Old 11-11-2010, 01:02 AM   #1
Tarbosh
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Moonlit Crossroads, Prog/Melodic death/black/power whatsit (C4C) [GP5, MIDI]

Well, I wrote this one in about a month of very sparse work, most of the work was concentrated in 2 or 3 really good days.

I have no idea how to label this one's genre, it doesn't really take much influence from anything as far as I can tell, I just wrote what I thought sounded right for the emotion I had established.

Lots of riffs, lots of turns and twists, cool little licks, etc etc.

Please, crit! I want to know what you guys think.

EDIT: Updated version, just added some fills, adjusted volumes, and did other minor crap.
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Last edited by Tarbosh : 12-09-2010 at 08:15 PM.
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Old 11-11-2010, 04:26 AM   #2
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This is a great piece, so unfortunately I don't have too much to comment on. All the transitions worked really well, everything flowed and nothing seemed out of place. I thought your drum parts were interesting, without being distracting. The only (minor) thing I can add is that the song lacks something to hold it all together. I think the addition of a theme, or even a repetition of a part or two can perhaps work in your favour. However, some songs work finely without one, so it's just something to keep in mind.

Well done!

C4C?
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Old 11-11-2010, 10:35 PM   #3
Mean Mr Mustard
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Critting as I listen:

The intro was a nifty riff, Id like to hear that keyboard riff come back some time in the song. Next riff worked well, it seemed pretty powerful. The 11/16 transition was great too by the way. Next riff was nice, I liked the use of strings which sound like they will be in the song most of the time. Gives it a nice dark sorta feel. The riff at bar 13 was great, I liked how the guitars went off each other, seemed like a sort of happy Opeth riff to me. The next solo was something Id wish that Opeth would do haha because it sounded sweet.

The Blarrrgh riff wasn't really for me, but I dont usually enjoy this sort of stuff. However, it was better with the lead over it, and tranistioned nicely into the next riff. The next few parts were really sudden, but it sounded good. I liked how it all settled down to the 6/8 part at bar 37. 61 through 70 were sweet as shit! TH acoustic part reminded me of Opeth. Solo was nice, and the little riff after it was great. Some times the strings would overpower a bit and gives it that sorta sound that I think is common and some metal, but Im just not too fond of having strings behind every riff.

But the strings break was nice, same with the riff after that. The section at 173 was great, its what I was going to say you needed. A sort of grand ending, truly epic. However, it doesnt end there...but this next part sounds like a crazy sorta ending to a crazy sorta progressive song, and it works.

Overall, I didnt really enjoy the strings over everything. Oh and I think that if you have a keyboardist, some piano would never hurt...I love the mood that a piano sets, and some piano breaks could kick ass here. But you have impressive songwriting, and seem really capable of writing within this genre (whatever it is haha).

Great job
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Old 11-13-2010, 10:16 AM   #4
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Whoa. That was quite a ride, some crazy prog stuff going on there. I love how unpredictable the song was, it just kept on being surprising. The part I liked the most was the black metal-ish sounding part. Everything flows really well despite how unique each of the riffs are. The riffs are also interesting and pretty creative. Good job.
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Old 11-15-2010, 07:18 PM   #5
RedDeath9
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I love the intro! Especially the bass.

I'm not sure how I feel about those E notes in the riff at bar 9. My first thought was that they sounded off, but perhaps it's something I'll get used to...

Loved bar 13, and the solo, but the next section gets... Don't you think it gets a bit loud? It gets worse at 27. I love the riff, reminds me of old Ephel Duath, but I think the volumes need to be messed around with.

Same thing goes for a majority of the song, really. At some points the strings get really overwhelming... It's still enjoyable, but I just think it could be much better without the 'indecipherable wall of sound' sections. These are just my feelings though; Perhaps this is the effect you wanted to create, and if so, well done Still very enjoyable.

Drumwork has been solid throughout. Nothing that diminishes the quality of the song as a whole... I'm pleased to hear variations like the one at bar 65.

The acoustic was a nice change of pace. Love the riff as well.

So far up to bar 134, on my second listen-through, I'm really loving the awkwardness of it. REALLY reminds me early Ephel Duath at some parts.

Bar 173. I came. The wall of sound thing hasn't been a problem for me since the first bit of the song.

The lack of any discernible theme isn't really a problem, because everything flowed really well.
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Old 11-15-2010, 09:37 PM   #6
Tarbosh
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Originally Posted by RedDeath9
I think the volumes need to be messed around with.

Same thing goes for a majority of the song, really. At some points the strings get really overwhelming... It's still enjoyable, but I just think it could be much better without the 'indecipherable wall of sound' sections. These are just my feelings though; Perhaps this is the effect you wanted to create, and if so, well done Still very enjoyable.


Yeah, I think I know what the problem there is. I wrote this entirely on my shit laptop speakers that have no discernible bass and not much mid. Once I get some nice headphones I'll **** around with it, and of course when I record it I'll do that all right. Won't be back home with my recording junk until July, though. In music school in Israel for the year.
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Old 11-20-2010, 02:03 AM   #7
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That was amazing, not much else to say.
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Old 11-29-2010, 12:26 PM   #8
Shaharz
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תודה על הביקורת אחי!

I really cant find anything to crit in this.
It's great. Has great flow and a great atmosphere and it's never boring. Lead parts are great, rythem parts a great...
The name Stenpaatikaaanen really made me lol xD

I really loved the strings from bar 145 on and the lead the comes over that. That was my favorite part I guess... Either that or the ending (Bar 185 till the end) which had awesomeness written all over it.


The only problem I had was that the mix was rather terrible. Maybe it's cause I used MIDI and not RSE, but at some points I had to adjust the volumes myself just so I can hear everything.
So work on that a bit :P

Great song.
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Old 11-29-2010, 12:32 PM   #9
TheBigProjekt
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The song's nice, and I don't expect a C4C from a short crit like this..

Transitions flow together nice, riffs are strong and have a good base. The song is very good and I can't even think of anything nitpicky to complain about.

However, the main point of this post was to congratulate you on your interesting name choices. I loved them, and they were probably the highlight of this song XD.
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Old 12-16-2010, 02:41 AM   #10
huevos
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While the 1st 2 bars are a bit misleading, I found that the riff at bar 9 more than redeems the previous section.
Out of personal choice, I just could not enjoy that riff at bar 3. It sounds a bit too busy for it's own good. I think that if you limited it would work.

But with bar 9 being stronger because of it, I think you should leave it.

Bar 13 was a nice chorus like riff, with some pleasant harmonies.

Repeating the lead at 17 was a bit off putting to me. I think the same backing with a different lead could make that section more interesting.

Death metal riff during measure 23 was an interesting turn. Not something I expected, but nor was it mind blowing.

Bar 29 was nice, in a Kekal sort of way. Listen to any song off their album "Habit of Fire" and you'll know what I mean.

Oh dear lord, there's quite a bit of sections to this song. I'll just remark on the ones that made a strong impression on me.

Alright, the new theme at bar 37 until 119 was very well done. I'm glad that you made a stuck with a consistent motif for such a long time and then twisted it sideways in the later half with the solo and all.
Good job there.

Bar 153 is a decent riff, but I don't like here in this song, if it makes sense. It builds up nicely, but it just seems out of place with the rest of the song.
Hell, I think the later half of the song seems like it sound be a separate entity given how different in tone it is.
While the climax is well done, it still just seemed like a cluster**** compared to how tight the 1st half of the song was.

I'm not one to suggest streamlining of songs, but when memorability is throw out the window, I do say that simplifying the structure becomes a necessary recourse. Maybe not in the case of this song, but I think you should consider making the latter half of the song a bit more focused.
I found it to be a bit meandering. The latter riffs do not compare to the beginning, which is what ruined my perception of it. I was expecting something a bit grander, but it never arrived.

Mr. Mustard has it right. What appears to be the ending midsong gives way to a lackluster add-on. I suggest ending the song at bar 145 and reusing the finale for a different project.
The comparison that I draw with the finale is that of the most wank-obsessed prog/thrash bands of the 80's-90's . Maybe you were trying to channel the likes of Symphony X, Paul Gilbert, Megadeth/Metallica, etc.
That's cool if you were, but I just am not one for that style.

I like brevity, even if my wall-of-texts say otherwise. I think that leaving people with a desire for more is always better than supersaturation and overexposure.
That is why you'll notice that my better efforts are generally shorter.
However, this song has given me an itch to create a lengthy epic for shits and giggles.
Thank you for that.
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Old 12-20-2010, 05:01 AM   #11
DeadAce
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Thanks for your crit!

I can see that you incorporated different styles while still seeing the Opeth influence evident in this song and didn't stick to one band or genre and made a sound of your own unlike your previous song ''The Merger" (which really sounded like an Opeth song though I don't care because it's still good ).

Some things I would like to point out:

I love how the song changes and the complex structure of the song. Very unpredictable and full of great hooks that keeps me interested throughout the song.

Solid drumwork and much improved compared to "The Merger"

I love the acoustic parts and I was really impressed on how you mixed it with the other acoustic guitar. One of my favorite parts of the song along with the solo part after that.

One of my favorite section is in the riff starting in bar 87 onwards. One highlight that's the same time very dissapointing is in bars 185 onwards. I thought that it was leading to the climax of the song and to me was a very good buildup IMO (I was reminded of the last part of About to Crash (Reprise) before leading to Losing Time/Grand Finale in the epic Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence by Dream Theater). Then it just ended with a chord

The song is pretty solid for me and flows great though other sections just come and go which makes it a little inconsistent.

The volume mix messed up some parts of the song pretty badly. I can see that in the volume panel that all instruments but the drums and strings are maxed out and I saw some notes in fortissimo.

I was getting a little tired with the strings halfway through the song since it's playing non-stop throughout. Maybe adding some piano, synth like Square, Sawtooth, warm pad (great for soundscaping BTW), etc.

Still, I was very impressed of the overall structure of the song and how you made it flow perfectly. The riffs were stellar even on its own and the melody was great. I think the strings was a big factor in shaping the melody.

I think that this is a monument in the sound that you made since it represents the progress of the sound that you crafted over that years and I can say that you made it your own
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Old 02-18-2011, 09:07 PM   #12
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I liked the riff at 1-8, it sounds exciting like maybe a war or something. The riff at 9-12 keeps the same general feeling, although I prefer the first one. The following riff, 13-16 was nice too. It reminds me of Iron Maiden sorta. The little solo thing at 17-20 was pretty good, but the slow arpeggios sounded a little weird with the rest of it being super fast.

23-28 isn't really my favorite type of music, tbh, and I would dismiss that in most cases, but this part also sounds like a completely different song from the riffs surrounding it. 29-32 picks it back up though, leading into the weird superfast leads in 33-36 which I liked, too, but the 36th bar sorta sounded like a sloppy transition.

37-70 Good tempo change, pretty neat riffs and really powerful piano pieces, I really liked them here. Again, the last bar sounds a little weird, but the transition seems to sort of work anyway.

71-86 Good job with the acoustics here, the two work together really well.

Solo-102: I like how it kinda starts with just quicker sort of lead parts and gradually goes up into the octave where guitar solos traditionally are. For the most part I like it, especially how it isn't too fast or too slow throughout, but rather goes back and forth. Bar 96 kinda bugged me though.

103-118 I liked this riff, and the let rings really make it sound powerful. While the transition for this riff is good, I didn't really like the next riff(s) at 119-134. At 135 it keeps a similar structure to before but seems more organized so I preferred it to the riff at 119.

145-168 I like this whole section in general but the strings make it sound sorta like polka which sounds weird with the rest of the song being a sort of metal mutt, if you will. 169-184 had pretty good leads and got rid of that polka feel. It ended up being pretty dramatic. I especially like the piano.

185-217 sounded really epic and sort of imperial(?) at some points. Iunno it reminded me of a castle for some reason but like something really bad had happened to it. Sorta sounds like a soundtrack. I also wasn't expecting the ending, but you made it work, so good job with that. Also since according to your page, you like older games, I'd compare it to an early Final Fantasy soundtrack (hopefully you've played some so you know what I'm talking about and if you don't, they're regarded as being really good.)

Anyway, a lot of neat riffs, some really epic parts, and I really liked that soundtrack-y part at the end. The only thing I'd suggest is to maybe switch up those transitions I mentioned, but it's your song so you do what you want. Also bonus points for being a Daniel. 9/10.
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