Go Back   UG Community @ Ultimate-Guitar.Com > Music > Songwriting & Lyrics
User Name  
Password
Search:

Reply
Old 12-02-2010, 10:19 AM   #1
Dylan_
Registered User
 
Dylan_'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: The city that never wakes up.
page 32: boys who write diaries are gay

my writing is not good lately, i know.

this week was supposed to be perfect, just the two of us and then it started snowing,
now i haven't seen her since tuesday and although that was the best day ever (for me)
her red hair stood out amongst the snow and in that second i didn't mind not being able to feel my feet
i really would like to see her again before christmas break because then i won't see her until the new year
and well who knows who we'll be in 2011

i thought i seen her once but it was just my imagination, i hate my imagination
infact i always see her when she's not there, i think i have made her up inside my head.
__________________
i like to write.
Dylan_ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-02-2010, 10:33 AM   #2
hawk_kst
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
ok?
hawk_kst is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-02-2010, 03:31 PM   #3
Karel Juwet
PleasurePointPony
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Belgium
I can see what you're trying to say, but it doesn't get across very well.
The end is quite unexpected, but the aha-erlebnis isn't happening. It's just too sudden. It's not like you're building up to something, or you're telling something. I feel like just reading a enumeration, or just a registration of events, without knowing what to think of them.

Don't worry, she's real if you think she is.
Karel Juwet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-02-2010, 03:59 PM   #4
hippieboy444
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
man, i feel this like an old memory of someone. it's so honest and true. i love it.
__________________
eye of a needle
hippieboy444 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-02-2010, 05:39 PM   #5
JustRooster
Organ Donor
 
JustRooster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Madison, Wisconsin
My ex-girlfriend was a redhead, and I loved her dearly. Maybe that's why I like this so much.
__________________
SSS
Quote:
Originally Posted by dannyalcatraz
Love is blind, and probably missing a few other sense, too.

JustRooster is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:09 PM.

Forum Archives / About / Terms of Use / Advertise / Contact / Ultimate-Guitar.Com © 2014
Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.0.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.