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Old 01-02-2011, 04:33 PM   #1
benonbass1
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Progressive Disco Metal C4C GP5

Okay so I lied, there's no disco. Sue me.

This is a revamp of an old song I've posted on here before. It has a new power metaly section and has generally been spiced up.


This is our longest song so far, I hope it doesn't drag.

There will definitely be a second guitar in it at some point, it's just our new guitarist hasn't got round to learning this one yet. I know the song isn't hugely technical for it's style, but we are only 15-17

The end is quite sudden as we would probably eventually go into another song with it, probably soft and acousticy.


I will match whatever crit you give me asap, just post a link in your reply

Thanks guys
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Old 01-02-2011, 04:50 PM   #2
shred_wizzard
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at first i thought you were confused as to what "progressive" meant, but it definately picks up a lot of steam as it goes. Bass solo-part is pretty sick, as are most of the lead guitar parts. intro is a bit tedious, and I'm extremely curious as to what kind of vocals you're fitting over this. the 2nd guitar part will definitely help in a lot of this song (intro and chorus for sure). ensure you keep the rhythm guitar interesting but doesn't steal attention from the lead and this could be pretty sick
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Old 01-02-2011, 04:59 PM   #3
mishax92
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Pretty damn good overall.

I absolutely love the bridge, I thought it was absolutely fantastic, it sat well, didn't feel forced, flowed excellently and was entirely flawless.

However, I felt the intro was perhaps a little too drawn out before anything changed, and the insistence on awkward time signatures for the beginning parts felt a little forced. Perhaps a bit of normality with the occasional quirks of odd meters will actually help it seem more proggy, as opposed to being technical for technicalities sake?

Hope that dint seem too harsh as I really liked it, just try and write with the feeling you applied to the bridge section, it just sat so well in comparison.

While GP5 didnt do it justice, I also liked your slow solo section, had a nice feel, regardless of the quality of MIDI sounds.

The breakdown was quite good too, although perhaps some choices of dissonant notes were a little odd, but i could feel the groove nonetheless. If mixed with diatonic consonance, then the dissonant clashes would have more effect in my opinion.

And lastly the outro section, while a nice contrast to prior section, didnt sum up the piece in my opinion. To me it sounds like the last section of the breakdown, and is yet to be concluded. Maybe a reprise of a prior theme with a twist might help it sound more like an outro?

Anyway, I hope my criticism was constructive and didn't come across as too mean, as I really thought it was great, just needs a bit of perfecting
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Old 01-02-2011, 06:43 PM   #4
benonbass1
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Cheers for the quick crit guys It's much appreciated.

Vocals will probably mostly harsh/screamed vocals, just because that's what our singer does best , but there will definitely be as much singing as possible in this one.

I know what you guys mean about the intro, hopefully it will shape up with more guitar, if not, i'll trim it a bit.

The "bass solo" section will have some guitar over it, but mostly improvised, slow stuff.

I know what you mean about the outro, a reprise is a good idea, but we were thinking of not giving it a solid ending so we could go straight into another one of our songs, we just haven't worked that out yet . A bit like on Colors by BTBAM

thanks again
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Old 01-02-2011, 10:05 PM   #5
Mean Mr Mustard
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I got an old BTBAM vibe from this at points. Uh the intro is really good, I loved the drums there. And you have great ideas, you just need to work on your songwriting. I know that you are writing the sort of song that doesnt seem to have structure, but you still need to make the riffs transition into each other. The transition at 189 was great and led into a sweet riff. But, the transition from 160 to 161 was awkward, as was that second riff in general (or the first two bars). And sadly, most of your transitions are in the second category. With better songwriting, the song could be a lot better. Also, with better drums it could be better too. Good ideas though, and good concepts (the slowdown at 181).

Oh and the outro was weak. If you want to transition it then okay. But does that mean that at 243 there will be a new song? If so, then the bass isnt needed, but if there is a pause before the next song, then have the guitars play that final chord too, or else it sounds empty.
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Old 01-03-2011, 10:13 AM   #6
benonbass1
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Yeah that cool. The song writing is the main thing I'm working on at the moment. I know the drums are a bit weak but I'm not a drummer and I'm hoping my drummer will spice em up where needed.

Thanks again for the Crit guys, does anyone have anything for me to C4C? Mr Mustard if it's alright by you I'm going to crit your Catchy hard pop as that sounds pretty interesting already
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