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Old 01-09-2011, 04:45 PM   #1
Seb1uk
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Another, slightly simpler post-hardcore song (c4c)

So I didn't try to over complicate things this time. I started it on Thursday then came back to it today. I quite like most of it, but my transitions aren't too great. The bridge at the start feels a bit messy as well, and it doesn't even sound like a bridge, I just couldn't think of what to call it. I think my Interlude is a bit anti-climatic as well, I should probably make it longer instead of going straight back into the verse.

I'm not the most proud of this, I can't really tell how good it is. But anyway, tell me watcha think.

EDIT: Changed the outro, check out v9
EDIT: Decided to make the end of this a bit more powerful and added a little solo as part of the final chorus just to make it a little more interesting, v12
Attached Files
File Type: gp5 rock 198 v8.gp5 (73.5 KB, 188 views)
File Type: gp5 rock 198 v9.gp5 (73.8 KB, 105 views)
File Type: gp5 rock 198 v12.gp5 (73.0 KB, 113 views)

Last edited by Seb1uk : 03-24-2011 at 08:28 PM.
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Old 01-09-2011, 04:55 PM   #2
pigeonmafia
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I'm not into any kind of hardcore myself, but I thought that was really good. Very catchy, I liked it alot. Flowed very well, can't say there's anything to improve on.

I have nothing for you to crit, just wanted to say I liked what you did
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Old 01-09-2011, 05:02 PM   #3
frankibo
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I'm quite enjoying more simple post hardcore songs now, that's the direction I want to head in.

I really enjoyed this though, really catchy stuff, not a lot I would change. Absolutely loved the bridge and the riff after that is amazing. Choruses and verse were solid. I'd love to hear a vocal part over this.
I am beginning to notice that there's only really two sort of sets of chords that tend to be used in these sort of post hardcore songs.
Either the 0 minor 3 major 5 minor 7 minor 8 major sort or the 0 major 4 minor 7 major 9 minor sort (if that made sense, the numbers are the frets) and then all the other chords (sus chords and such) that stay in those keys. I don't really know how to write outside of that myself and it seems your songs tend to fit into either of these two groups.
Anyway I'm rambling now, it's a good song you've got here, no really noticeable flaws, I'd just love to hear a vocal part.
C4C? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...91#post26166991
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Old 01-09-2011, 05:23 PM   #4
Seb1uk
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Cheers guys, and hah yeah that's what I had been thinking about recently as well. Hence why in my last song I went drop C for a slightly different sound. And I'm guessing that's why you used a really low tuning for your new song too. But I also noticed it can be major or minor in these two sets so there's still a fair bit to explore. I should probably start learning some proper music theory and try picking particular keys that I haven't used to write a song in.
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Old 01-09-2011, 05:33 PM   #5
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Sounds quite good, different from what i write but i quite liked it, would like to hear a proper recording of it though that would be cool. You can listen to my stuff through the link in my sig if you like.
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Old 01-09-2011, 05:54 PM   #6
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i love most of the stuff you put on here, and this song is no exception. everything is fantastic about it.

the intro was nice, at first i thought it was in a funky time signature, lol im a noob. the second guitar compliments the intro guitar nicely and you have a good way with drums. heavy intro was good, i dont see why you think your transitions are bad, i think they are fine.

post intro was good, i like the chords you use as well. they all flow together nicely. the guitar fills throughout the song are great aswell. i loved the interlude, it was my favourite part but that chord at bar 128 should be switched, dont get me wrong i like dissonants but it didnt work for me here. the chorus was fine.

overall there was nothing wrong with this piece that made me hate it. the outro could have maybe been a bit better but thats nothing bad.

C4C please. you dont have to write a lot, i would just like some feedback.

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1399610
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Old 01-09-2011, 06:01 PM   #7
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I don't know how you do , but almost all your song are damn good.
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Old 01-09-2011, 06:28 PM   #8
Seb1uk
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Cheers everyone, yeah I admit my outro was a little poor, I kinda just wanted to get it finished so I got a bit lazy.
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Old 01-12-2011, 11:05 PM   #9
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Critting as I listen.

First few bars, the intro sounds real cool, with the added guitars and catchy drums. When the heavier chords come in, it just screams "anthem". Going into the "Post-intro" sounds great as well as it, itself. The thumping chords under the softer ones sound great. Lots of cool parts leading to the verse, which has some sweet chords in it. The drum part sounds terrific, and the chorus is powerful and catchy, as it should be. The lead guitar sounds great. Post-chorus is terrific, as well. Leading into the break is very smooth, and it's a nice calm break but it GOES RIGHT BACK INTO IT . The Rhythm part sounds great, I absolutely love it and the way it goes into the verse. At the second chorus, I listened more to the bass and it's great too. The Post-chorus functions very nicely as an outro, but I can tell that you got lazy on it, contrary to the rest of the song. If it had one more riff in it, it would be the perfect closer, but I really liked that song. Best one I've heard in a while from this forum.

PS: I loved 127-128, it really stood out to me as a sick part in my favourite part of the song.

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Old 01-22-2011, 05:02 PM   #10
Seb1uk
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Alright I spent a few minutes working on the outro. It's not great but I wonder if I should go for this kind of feel for the ending. What do y'all think?
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Old 01-22-2011, 05:07 PM   #11
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Old 01-22-2011, 05:17 PM   #12
Seb1uk
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Oh it's in the first post, it's 198v9
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Old 01-23-2011, 03:36 AM   #13
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I like everything except the intro. It sounded good but it got annoying real fast. The heavy intro was the best part in my opinion you had a great guitar beat. You know you chords its obviously better than most people I see on here. I also like how you just solod around throughout the song, it was diffrent. Nice job. I have a similiar style Except I have vocal on mine. You should try to put some on your next time.

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1404591
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Old 01-27-2011, 03:31 PM   #14
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Like I said in the crit of your other song I'm not really into this kind of music, but so far what I've listened to this song has a nice punkish feel to it, and sounds better than ur other song. Ill now crit as I listen.

Soft intro is really good, I like track 1 here alot!

Heavy intro is.. well... *headbangs*

Post-Intro is good, but it feels like its breaking the energy coming from the heavy intro.

Bridge sounds quite original and I like it alot.

VERY good verse!!!

This type of chorus again??! Ahh well, once again I'm not into this kind of choruses but for what you were going for it sounds great!

Post-Chorus is nice.

Break is good, but for some reason feels like I've heard it a million times before

Interlude is amazing!

The outro is good, but it seems that you end very similarly to your other song, and thats not a good thing. You don't want to have two songs with the exact same kind of ending!

It's a very good song for this type of music, just a few problems!
9/10 for what it is.

Check out another one of the songs in my sig!
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Old 01-29-2011, 11:32 AM   #15
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well, finally a PHC song I listne to that doesn't get carried away with trying to be hipster shit.

Basically, your song is really complex with a lot of variations and little details here and there but the point is, that it makes sense.

The part taht finally swayed me to type this up is the interlude part in the second half of the song. Though I usually dislike songs without actual solos in them, your structuring achieved just the same kind tension and relief.

Actually, you have that kind of climatic structure ion your interlude, and the transition to the verse is the best part of that song. I wonder why you feel unsure about this song

As other poster already said, there are not really any flaws in this piece. Nothing comes to mind that would make this piece better, just the outro is kind of strange.
Maybe vocals can clear that up, as the lyrical content is always able to kind of justify some decisions made during composition.

Anyway, totally 9.5/10 for its genre. I really can't stand this genre but that song right here is just awesome.



Would be cool if you checked out this song of mine in return

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1406663
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Old 02-09-2011, 09:17 PM   #16
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Hey man, thanks for the crit! I finished the song now, if you'd like to recheck it out!

I already critted your song (posted it in the wrong topic): http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...06&postcount=12 Here's a link to it.

The chorus is still one of my favorite things I've heard from this forum.

As for the outro, I really like what you changed in it. The drums really make it end. I still think it should just be a BANG and it's over kind of deal though.
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Old 03-24-2011, 08:31 PM   #17
Seb1uk
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I was in the middle of sorting out a promo of my guitar pro tracks and I noticed how many of them ended on a fade-out, and I figured it would be interesting to follow DiminishedFifth's idea to make the ending more sudden and powerful. So I did, and I added a little solo as part of the final chorus to make it a little more interesting, but I don't really know if it's necessary.

Thoughts? I've edited the first post with v12. And c4c still for anyone who might want to comment on this still.
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