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Old 02-04-2011, 04:26 PM   #1
envoykrawkwar7
Better nate then lever
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: spring grove
Djentlemen behold [music gp5/4/midi]

have ever finished a song and cant stop feeling that its not done? that's what this is. its complete in every sense of the word, but personally just feels incomplete [mabey it just needs a part two song written to it???] so go ahead and give it a listen, anyone whose heard my work before knows its going to be way to overproduced for guitar pro and probably shouldn't be listened to through RSE. tell me your thoughts, what you like , what you hate, what shouldn't be there, constructive criticism is more than welcome, and as always c4c so link me up to your work [and if you just absolutely love the way i write and need help on your own work feel free to ask, i do crit4work also]

ALSO: im including a version in c for those who think g# is just pushing the limits of sane.
Attached Files
File Type: gp4 g#.gp4 (39.1 KB, 58 views)
File Type: gp5 g#.gp5 (66.5 KB, 180 views)
File Type: mid g#.mid (58.5 KB, 34 views)
File Type: gp5 g# c.gp5 (66.5 KB, 82 views)
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Old 02-06-2011, 03:38 AM   #2
TooLz
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LOL the g# was a lil over kill. Right off the bat I'm draw into how original this is. I love the main heavy riff you have going on in the background. I find it doesn't harmonize with the other tracks though. Bars 17 and on is beautiful, the synth sounds nice here at. It sounds a bit cluttered...some of the tracks ring out too long. At bar 34 it gets really cool. I'd have some harmony with those low notes though and change the harmony up every 2nd or 4th bar and keep the same root note...just a though. This whole piece is really original, I've never heard anything like it and I like it. Only thing is that it can be a bit tighter.
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Old 02-06-2011, 12:37 PM   #3
patrickaumon
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Intro : Very impressive, but there is an element that tick me off. I find it a bit noisy
Bar 17 : The guitar , bass drums are very good . I love the feelings of those chords + leads.
But the change of the guitar to viola is not very great in my opinion.

Bar 33 : holy shit, i so love the transition to that breakdown with a lower tempo. Very heavy, Except the choice of cymbal for the drums. But that can be fixed easily and it's only a gp file.

Clean part : Very creative, when the distorted guitar comes in , it's even better .

71 and on : heavy. I dislike the use of the string ensemble .

The rest is very good.
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Old 02-07-2011, 01:37 AM   #4
envoykrawkwar7
Better nate then lever
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: spring grove
thanks for the crits guys, as to cluttered-ness did you listen to the c or the g# because the higher the tuning the more the minor seconds lose melody and just become dissonance and i can understand why it would sound irritating, anything you want critted back?
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Old 02-07-2011, 08:44 PM   #5
Uber Man
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I honestly had no idea what Djent was until today, i decided to google/youtube it before criting your song, lol. I'm very happy i did, djent is bad ass

Anywho i'll start with the crit, some markers would have helped but oh well.

I'm really like the groove and ambiance so far, dropping the rhythm guitar, bass, and drums on measure 12 sounded really cool. But the transition into measure 17 seemed a little to soon. So what i think you should do, is not do the measure you drop the drums/bass/guitars on until measure 16 but add a little drum fill in the last beat or two, it would make a much nicer transition to 17

The next section was nice and heavy, it wasn't my favorite part, and i also imagine it was sound over 9000 times better on real guitar.

Interludey part at 50 sounded cool. But i think you should leave the bass of the first 8 bars and have it come in with the drums. at 63, the bass is a little bit to lame... lol. A little more action for the bass would be nice anyway

I like that in 71 i can hear that riff again without all the ambient guitars/strings and really get to "hear" it. I think that maybe the last notes from the leads and strings could be sustained longer and fade out instead of abruptly end the next measure.
I like the solo and melodies at the ending, but the bass is still to boring, but i suppose that part is more about the ambiance.

nice nice nice song, and thank you for introducing me to Djent.
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Old 02-08-2011, 12:23 AM   #6
envoykrawkwar7
Better nate then lever
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: spring grove
thanks a lot ill try all those ideas, especially the drum roll at 16
unfortunately for the bass and i dont have one anymore and i hate trying to just 'WRITE' it in gp, if you wanna take a whack at it id love the help =)
and im glad i introduced you, its one of the more fun new generations of music
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