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Old 05-20-2016, 09:30 PM   #1
Bag'ed
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Thinner

---- Lyrics ----

Youth bestowed
on you a mysticism borrowed
You were gifted by the urn
a fading beauty you did not earn

And you became colder
as the fire grew dimmer
I don't grow older
I just get thinner

In those virgin corridors
Trapped by the safety of our own homes
The bad habits you've known
Become a skeleton that you've outgrown

Under the cover of darkness
Build a bridge with an act of trust
Conspiratorially
You'll reveal exactly the kind of man I was

And whilst you got older,
I just got thinner

---
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Old 05-24-2016, 01:15 PM   #2
Herr Rararr
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I like the refrain - it has a real sense of weariness. The first verse isn't great for me - it feels a bit stilted and constrained by the rhyme scheme (urn/earn jars...now that's a pun, help).

The last verse is great - I like the implied emphasis on 'conspiratorially' and I like the questions that are asked by 'I just got thinner'.
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