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Old 04-04-2011, 02:38 AM   #1
vintage x metal
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nothing.

after trying to reach a higher goal,
cement gleam in my eyes and
find ways to steer through time -
veer left, veer right
watch the way your hair emerges through your skin
in spines that just don't seem plausible -
i fell in love last weekend and the weekend before that
and by wednesday i didnt believe in those things anymore.
it was kind to hold hands and search for your eyes
in a meaningful way
when they lock for a second
and then you turn away
silent for a moment, as if time persisted
just for a little bit
but still your face is muddied by the pot and nonchalance
and we say something about existence or
something
honestly
i wouldnt remember
it wouldnt matter anyway.
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Old 04-04-2011, 05:01 AM   #2
SubwayToVenus
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i thought this was really, really great, Saadia. this had a strong voice and the ending was perfect. "pot and nonchalance" was great, as was the "i fell in love last weekend..." line
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Old 04-04-2011, 12:32 PM   #3
UncleRemus
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I felt like the first half of this lagged a bit but once it got going it was brilliant. Everything from "it was kind to hold hands..." I loved.

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Old 04-04-2011, 12:53 PM   #4
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This is the best piece I remember ever reading from you. I agree with the UncleRemus and Ryan.
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Old 04-04-2011, 03:22 PM   #5
punkforlife93
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You just have a way with your pieces where one line makes you fall in love, and the rest are icing on the cake...and I mean that in the best way possible. For me it was this:

watch the way your hair emerges through your skin

Perfect.
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Old 04-05-2011, 12:17 PM   #6
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thank you guys. you're really too kind. this was extremely encouraging.
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Old 04-05-2011, 06:00 PM   #7
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hehe ;$


free bump now, no?
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Old 04-05-2011, 06:16 PM   #8
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allen baby how much wine have you had
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Old 04-05-2011, 06:26 PM   #9
rushmore
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oh, hey-

saadia, right?

fantastic work.

listen to new fleet foxes? "grown ocean" makes me want to walk and run and splash in puddles.
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Old 04-05-2011, 08:08 PM   #10
punkforlife93
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I'll be honest, I thought this or Subway's other piece should have won WotW. Also I need to relearn everyone's name again...
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Old 04-06-2011, 05:39 PM   #11
vintage x metal
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jed, I'm saadia and that's very flattering. I agree that subway's other piece should have gotten it haha


oh hay matttt how you doin boyfran thank you very much. i'm seeing them again this may yeee also we have to catch up, i'm thinking i'll call you when we're both not busy for a bit? you know how to reach me.
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