From Your Grave

So, I started working on this a few days ago, and I'm pretty much out of ideas for it. As it stands, I'm happy with it, but I think it could be better. It's a pretty basic song, it reminds me a lot of Decode by Paramore.

The lead in the last verse I'm iffy about, and I think the break needs something else going on, I just don't know what. I'm pretty happy with the way the verses and choruses turned out.

Any ideas or criticism is appreciated =)
I will also C4C.

Attached Files

	First Song.gp4 (27.6 KB, 26 views)
	First Song.gp5 (48.3 KB, 100 views)
	First Song.mid (33.9 KB, 22 views)

ASJerrell

first off, its really good. you fit the genre or the target to a tee. the lead and chord patterns and key and everything, definitely has a ton of potential with some catchy lyrics and some awesome melodies.

my only criticism is that it feels repetitive in the verse. I'm sure it would be lessened with singing again, but thats how I feel. you could add some studio fills on guitar, add some simple strings, which is in every song nowadays, or whatever else you can cook up on drums or bass. some fills or lead lines on either of them is also a staple of Paramore I feel. Their drummer makes the band imo.

Anyhoo, solid, no exaggerating, an 8. I really did enjoy it.

From Your Grave

Thanks man! I agree with you about the verse, but I feel like with the vocals it won't matter too much. I'll see what I can do about some fills for it though.

Paramore's old drummer, Zac, definitely made some beast drums

frankibo

Drums need a lot of work, it's hard to judge without decent drums. Otherwise it's pretty good.

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MattAnderson111

Hey dude, I really liked this, so I re-did the drum track for fun, I hope I helped. I uploaded it to mediafire if you want use this one instead.

http://www.mediafire.com/?98e189o9doa5952

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Poop.



Yes, poop.

From Your Grave

Matt, thank you
I'm not a drummer by any means, so normally for drums I just do what seems to fit. I almost never use 16th notes either for some reason.
I loved the double bass at the end of the chorus, and all the fills were really sexy. I'm definitely going to use it and give you credit.