Mean Mr Mustard

EDIT: 6/26/11 - Okay, I weeded out a bunch of the songs I thought weren't going anywhere and I'm left with these. Please give your input on as many of them as you want I'm looking for overall sound, how they flow, vocals, all that stuff, just tell me how they are.

Also, thanks to all the crits I have so far, they've helped a ton! All of these are gonna be learned by my band eventually (we already have the first 5 down), so the crits are very very useful.

Update - 6/28/11 - Added three new songs, 2 pretty short songs, and an instrumental

Attached Files

Pop Punk Collection.zip (97.5 KB, 149 views)

__________________
Demos EP

Joshua1207

Criticizing 'TF TG 2' - I like the intro. Kind of catchy. I didn't really like the chord progression in Pre-Verse but I liked the other stuff in it. I would say more about the song but it looks like you haven't finished.

Onto 'TG 1 (Happy Rocker)' - I like the intro, nice to see some happy stuff in this forum ha. The Oboe vocals were pretty good too. Clearly you're much better at drums than I am. I like your chorus. Especially the bar 77-78 part. I didn't really like the bridge though besides bars 97-98. It went from a happy feeling to a bit sad =/ Not really drastic change but still. Your outro was good, I like the accents you used.

Doing 'TG 9 (Sad Slow)' now - Your intro was okay, but pretty generic. I'm pretty sure I've heard that chord progression a lot before, but I do like it nonetheless. I was expecting something a bit more sad by the name :P Maybe its because I need to hear actual singing to feel the experience. Build up is probably the best part of the song so far. I think I'd like release a lot better with a different chord progression. The song overall was okay, I just didn't care for the rhythm guitar and the title was misleading, at least to me.

'TG 6 (Mellow)' - Another misleading title name :P I don't really like the vocals you did in this song. They just don't really fit in, in my opinion. I think this song would probably be much better slower. You have some good riffs in there though. I don't really care for the rhythm either, the progression isn't terrible itself though. As the song goes on I kind of like it better though, eh. Overall, I recommend slowing down the tempo some and maybe add in a couple more riffs too but slow and mellow like.

I'll listen to the rest later perhaps. Oh also, as a disclaimer I really don't listen to pop-punk so take my critic with a grain of salt.

__________________

Mean Mr Mustard

Hey, thanks for the crit man. Basically, I wont go in depth, but I agree with a lot of the points you made. These are kinda rough drafts for the time being, and Ill probably scrap a few of them, but thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it!

__________________
Demos EP

melkere

I honestly don't have any negative feedback for you on ANY of these tracks. Good job man! How long have you been writing music?

Mean Mr Mustard

Thanks dude appreciate it! Ive been writing about...2-3 years I think?

__________________
Demos EP

melkere

The experience shows. Nicely done.

BlackApparatus

Just the same as melkere here. I listened to every single one of them, and I must say I loved them all. Keep up the good work, finish those which are still incomplete, and you can even say you have a really solid album right there, man. Congratulations.

__________________


UG's MEXICAN DRUMMER

Erra93

TF TG 1, bar 70, Track 2, sounds like a major key change, sounds fine when it gets to bar 72 though, it's not a big deal, but it could be improved
Actually, all of guitar solo 2 sounds like it's in a different key :p
The rest of it, I really enjoyed

I'm too tired to do the rest of the songs, but what I've heard so far them, I've liked

__________________

Mean Mr Mustard

Awh man, Im going to do that entire solo over again, I didnt enjoy it either. And thanks

EDIT: Changed it, and finished quite a lot of material, check OP

__________________
Demos EP

herby190

Critting TG 11:

I liked the majority of this, and really just have a few complaints.

I think that for the intro, as well as when that riff is used again later, Guitar II shouldn't play the fills with Guitar I. I tried changing it so it just continued with the powerchords, and I thought it gave it a stronger sound. Just my opinion; it wasn't bad to begin with, but I felt like repeatedly taking those chords out at the end of every other measure made the flow a little awkward.

I feel this piece would benefit from a more interesting chorus lead; I think it could add a lot of energy.

Instrumentally, I think that's about all I have to say. Lyrically, I think you need some work, but that's another forum.


Critting TG 2:

Not really a lot to say here. The vocals to this one were actually fairly catchy, and I don't really have any complaints with the instruments. All in all, I just thought it was far too short.

__________________

|CauseInEffect|

Mean Mr Mustard

On TG 11, Ill try it out, dont know how that will turn out though, as well as possibly a better chorus lead. As for the lyrics, theyre just thrown in, Im only really proud of a few of the lyrics on these tracks, most are just filler haha. But thanks

__________________
Demos EP

kyl1989

Haha is there even a genre that you aren't good at
Great work once again!

NOTAFOX

i listened to TG 4, 6, and 9. they all sounded really good.

with TG 4, it was a good sounding pop punk song, i liked it. one of the only things that bugged me was in the intro when with the last quarter note of a bar and then the first quarter of the next (even though you used either notes) it just sounded like a weird stop and start to me, idk why. over all good song though.

with TG 6, idk, but i didnt feel this one as much for some reason. it was good, catchy, but i guess just not my thing. but over all it was good.

and for TG 9, it was a really nice slower song. i think it might of been my favorite of the 3. it was to short though it seemed to me. i would of liked if it were alittle longer i think.

over all, your songs were very good. one problem i had with all of them though was the lyrics. it didnt seem like you had enough in any of the songs, and they all kinda sounded the same to me. idk, its just me. still you did a very good job over all, keep it up =D

__________________
There is a saying in poetry, "show me, don't tell me." here you are announcing everything, like an announcer to a sporting event. "Dave has the ball. Dave passes the ball. Dave picks his ass."

~Zanascross

XD epic win

Mean Mr Mustard

Hey thanks for the crit, I appreciate it! For the part about the lyrics, did you mean that there were too many instrumental parts with no vocals? Or that the vocal lines were too slow or something, therefore not allowing many lryics? Either way, the lyrics arent really done, but most of the vocal lines are. I think Im comfortable with the amount of instrumental sections to vocal sections though, I kinda like how it is. As for the vocals sounding the same, maybe its the MIDI, I try to change it up a bit with those and theyll get tweaked as I change the lyrics anyways.

__________________
Demos EP

deathbycontrol

I listened to them all, and they were all really good. I dont feel like typing a lot right now, so I'll just crit the one I liked the most, which was TF TG 2.

I like the melody in the intro. Has a really nice feel to it. The preverse is a little heavier, which is good as well. The tempo change in the verse works pretty well, its sudden but doesnt sound out of place.

I think the prechorus would sound better the second time around if you added melody to it, like maybe have a third guitar play octaves, something to keep it from being EXACTLY like the last one.

Finally I like the rhythm in the chorus, too, and the little lick thrown in really spices it up. Though I dont really see the point in just having one guitar play those two bars near the end, but Idk, it'll probably sound better in a recording.

Oh, and thanks for the crit

__________________
---------------------------
Here have a waffle!
(>^_^)>#

benonbass1

Cheers for the crit I'm really sorry it's taken so long to get back to you!

Okay, I'll admit now that pop-punk really isn't my thing.

However saying that, I started on your TG1 (happy rocker) and really enjoyed it. I loved the melodic change in the bridge, as well as the great rhythmic variation during the chorus. The little bass variations were cool too.

The next track I listen to was Acoustic intro. I know pop-punk is quite a "cheesy" genre, but I found the intro a bit generic. The vocal melodies and harmonies are cool though. The section where the distortion came in was the best, although I did feel there were some notes clashing in the lead. I like the lyrics in the chorus.

I like the lead in intro and pre-verse to Heavy Blue, It seemed to be the inverse of how you'd expect it to be, second bar first, first bar second, if you see what I mean, which is effective. The outro had a nice change of chords, and the little bass fill really makes it.

That's all I'm going to do for now. Sorry but it's almost 2 o'clock in the morning

__________________
My musical menagerie:

Prog GP5's:
Karl's Ting
Melowank
Progressive Disco Metal
PT(5)
Doom

Lyrics:
Well God gave me Melons, so where the hell does that leave me??
"This is a Public Service Announcement"
Doom

My Soundcloud

Mean Mr Mustard

Thanks for the crit to both of you guys. Appreciate it!

Yep, I put in some work on this today, I gave the second pre-chorus a different drumline, so hopefully thatll change things up. Also, that chorus thing was just that I hadnt finished it yet.

__________________
Demos EP

HappyGilmore899

I haven't listened to them all yet but here's a little feedback for a couple of the ones I've given a listen. Pretty much everything I've listened to gives off a big Alkaline Trio "Crimson" era Vibe to me lol. I know alot of AT fans knock that album but I think it was great personally.

If you can, I'd appreciate it if you would check out my song here -> http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1440805

TG3 (Sad) - My Favorite of all the ones I've listened to so far. Like I said, Everything I've listened to Gives off an Alkaline Trio "Crimson" era Vibe but this one sounds like it could've been plucked right off the album which is nice. The Bridge is really nice with the Octaves and the Eighth Note Stops at the beginning of the cycles.

TG4 (Rocker) - Pre-Verse/Interlude Chords are very nice but the Transition from them into the Verse Chords and mood just seems a little abrupt to me and might be something to work on. I was a little let down that there wasn't really a solo someone between the final Bridges and Outro. Something simple with even just an octave or a simple Eight Note run might have given it some better depth. It was still good but this is really the only one I listened to that I really thought could use a little bit more work.

TG5 (Catchy) - Very Catchy (duh). Simple but the Barre Chords help give it a little extra layer in the verses (nice touch). Solo fit the song well.

TG7 (Dark) - The little octave melody at the end of each cycle in the verse is catchy as hell!. I like how in the Chorus the 2nd Guitar track does sort of break from the rhythm of the main part a little and the mini-solo in the post chorus fit the song great.

TF TG2 - The melody in the intro is nice but honestly it gets just a little bit boring until the verse kicks in at Bar 36. From the Verse until the first chorus the drum track really comes front and center and really stand out on this song. Overall it was a nice tight pop-punk track.

phew...I'll try to give a whirl of a few other tracks later. Everything I've listened to was really solid. You definitely have a knack for writing some pretty damn good pop-punk.

__________________
My Soundcloud Page - http://soundcloud.com/jam1337-1

Check Out My New Song "Of Echoes"

Mean Mr Mustard

Damn dude, I really appreciate it! Ive never listened to Alkaline Trio, Im gonna have to check them out sometime! Thanks for the help man, I love it when people give their brief little thoughts on each song, its easier to tell, "oh does this guy hate the other songs as well?", or "oh this guy likes all them but this one, gotcha". So yeah, in short, thanks hahaha. Ill go check out yours soon!

__________________
Demos EP