Go Back   UG Community @ Ultimate-Guitar.Com > Music > Recordings > Tabs & Chords
User Name  
Password
Search:

Reply
Old 04-24-2011, 04:28 PM   #1
RedDeath9
UG's Nu/Shyguy
 
RedDeath9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Vancouver, British Columbia
Tarbosh and RedDeath9 - Standing Before the Precipice (GP5 + MIDI) C4C

Hey, this is something that fellow UGer Tarbosh and I have been working on for the past two weeks. We'd always wondered what it would be like if our styles were put into a blender and merged... Well, two weeks ago, we spontaneously started a collab which evolved into this song. It all stemmed from that riff at 77; I had made the guitar and drums parts, and then he added the lead, and it just exploded from there.

The music was written first, and then a storyline was attached to it. Now, we've decided we're going to try to write a concept album based around this story, with this song being the climax. Kinda counterproductive that you're getting the climax first, but oh well

We're pretty happy with the way the song turned out. We had a lot of fun writing this, and we hope you have just as much fun listening

EDIT: The markers' positions from bar 1-90 aren't really important.

EDIT2: Be aware of notes getting cut off, especially during the last section.

EDIT3: Reuploaded with minor changes that no one will notice. The reason that there are two zip files is because as one, it was too big Which is rather odd, because I only changed two bass notes, I'm not sure why the file size would increase so much...

EDIT4: Oh, I added in the GP4 this time. No wonder.

EDIT5: Got rid of some unwanted dissonance near the end.

EDIT6: Fixed an unintentionally offbeat thing in the "What am I?" section. Also let a string note ring out at the end. I'm not sure why I'm keeping you guys updated on the edits.

EDIT7: Just realized all but one of the tracks in the MIDI were muted
__________________

This creature sleeps beyond the flow of time

Last edited by RedDeath9 : 11-22-2011 at 03:39 AM.
RedDeath9 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2011, 04:39 PM   #2
Portuguese_boy
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Mind = blown.

So fucking amazing, can't really find one bar I would change.
Portuguese_boy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2011, 06:17 PM   #3
Geldin
Registered User
 
Geldin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
I'll give a more complete critique when I have a little more time on my hands (hopefully tomorrow). I would like to say that this is ridiculously busy at all times. I'm a fan of having a lot of different ideas, but some of this just feels over-the-top. There are some really good parts, but I'm having trouble listening to this because some parts seem to lack direction.

Like I said, I'll give a much more in-depth review some time soon (hopefully tomorrow), but that's what comes to mind right now.
__________________
I have an album. Listen to it.
The Sleeping Fury

The album is streaming here
Geldin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2011, 06:54 PM   #4
HaydenHohns
Maths/Music Enthusiast
 
HaydenHohns's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Wow! That was a truly spectacular piece. I have a few minor qualms/ideas that may make it better (IMO) but they don't make too much of a difference. BTW, just so I get this straight, Tarbosh does the Black Metal/Classical/Western Art style parts and RedDeath9 does the Jazz/Tech Metal stuff. I'm not familiar with your work RedDeath9 but I am familiar with Tarbosh so I'll take the time to look into your work around here if you have any. Anyway, onto my crit:

I've noticed that in a few select sections there are some brilliant use of dynamics, but other places would benefit from this. As Geldin said, there are a lot of ideas and it has a very large texture/timbre for the majority of the piece so you have to make the most of your dynamic range, make it really stretch out in terms of volume and articulation.

Track 2 (Bar 271): This seems like a rather awkward riff to play, perhaps in order to make it both easier while still being a complete aural assault on the listener, you could pan the higher and lower voicings hard left and hard right. Then add accents (>) on the higher voicings (More dynamic range as I stated earlier).

That's about all I can say, this piece reminds me mainly of Ihsahn/Emperor mixed with Cynic, Spastic Ink/Blotted Science/Watchtower with a pinch Dream Theater (As far as arrangements are concerned at least).

Overall, you've done an excellent job on this, your next challenge is to maintain this high level of composition with your future work.

I don't need any crits on my only thread (You can if you want to get it over with) but I'm working on an epic at the moment so I'll PM you when it's ready.
HaydenHohns is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2011, 07:14 PM   #5
RedDeath9
UG's Nu/Shyguy
 
RedDeath9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Vancouver, British Columbia
Ah, thank you for the crits guys.

@Hayden: Wow, I'm impressed that you managed to pinpoint our styles It's interesting how we had to adopt the other's style while writing; for this piece, Tarbosh did it to a greater extent than I. We just think it's something important to keep in mind, if you're wondering who wrote what We'll keep the thing about 271 in mind, and I agree, there is probably some polishing we could do with volumes.

EDIT: And yeah, PM me when it's done. I don't know whether it'll be me or him giving the crit.
__________________

This creature sleeps beyond the flow of time

Last edited by RedDeath9 : 04-24-2011 at 07:16 PM.
RedDeath9 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2011, 07:24 PM   #6
Life Is Brutal
Master of Modulation
 
Life Is Brutal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: The Omnivium
Awesome piece, although it gets a bit cluttered at times. I understand your going for complexity and a layered sound, but sometimes themes get lost and it diminishes the sound.

I think Its awesome as is, but when writing another piece in this style, if you keep those in mind the piece could be improved considerably.
__________________
|GP5 Compositions|
V Classical and Jazz centric Tech Death V
Life Is Brutal is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2011, 07:33 PM   #7
RedDeath9
UG's Nu/Shyguy
 
RedDeath9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Vancouver, British Columbia
Hmm, would you mind telling us some specific parts that sound cluttered? Just so we can get a general idea... Also, any pieces that you'd like me/him to crit?
__________________

This creature sleeps beyond the flow of time
RedDeath9 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2011, 08:08 PM   #8
Life Is Brutal
Master of Modulation
 
Life Is Brutal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: The Omnivium
Cluttered probably wasn't the right word.

Although 218 and the solo parts like in 267 might be a bit cluttered between the themes.

Upon further listening there isn't much clutter, but in some places, such as at 39, you end up with themes that might've lost too much of their structure. Also, the timpani at 61 is a bit loud. If you lower the dynamic level at that bar, it could also provide some contrast for the following bars.

I also understand that in some places you are focusing on the chaos of the section, and its not supposed to be perfectly comprehensible, so I obviously left any possiible qualms about those sections out. Like at bars 81-85.

I also really like the sound that you guys get at 85-94, and reminds me of Tarbosh' Relieved of Breath at some point.

I wanted Tarbosh to take a look at some pieces that I haven't put on the forum yet, but he hasn't given me an Email I can send them to. These wouldn't be full crits, just run throughs that would say if any of the material is good. Or bad.

If you wouldn't mind... http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1435617
__________________
|GP5 Compositions|
V Classical and Jazz centric Tech Death V

Last edited by Life Is Brutal : 04-25-2011 at 09:01 PM.
Life Is Brutal is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2011, 08:32 PM   #9
RedDeath9
UG's Nu/Shyguy
 
RedDeath9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Vancouver, British Columbia
Ah, thanks. Yeah, he's banned right now, but I'll PM you his email address.
__________________

This creature sleeps beyond the flow of time
RedDeath9 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2011, 08:38 PM   #10
Life Is Brutal
Master of Modulation
 
Life Is Brutal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: The Omnivium
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedDeath9
Ah, thanks. Yeah, he's banned right now, but I'll PM you his email address.


Oh. So THATS why it says "banned" as his custom user title.
__________________
|GP5 Compositions|
V Classical and Jazz centric Tech Death V
Life Is Brutal is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2011, 09:38 PM   #11
JazzDeath
Oracle of the Absurd
 
JazzDeath's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Did he get banned for his comments on that Justin Bieber song? I got a warning for that =(
JazzDeath is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2011, 10:07 PM   #12
RedDeath9
UG's Nu/Shyguy
 
RedDeath9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Vancouver, British Columbia
Aye, that's what he was banned for.
__________________

This creature sleeps beyond the flow of time
RedDeath9 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2011, 10:14 PM   #13
Life Is Brutal
Master of Modulation
 
Life Is Brutal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: The Omnivium
Is the thread still up?

NVMEDIT: Checked it, I don't think his was worth a ban, a warning max. And for Jazzdeath, I don't think you should've been warned at all. Albeit I also heard little to no hardcore, and it still is a "Why?" kind of thing.
__________________
|GP5 Compositions|
V Classical and Jazz centric Tech Death V

Last edited by Life Is Brutal : 04-24-2011 at 10:22 PM.
Life Is Brutal is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2011, 10:40 PM   #14
JazzDeath
Oracle of the Absurd
 
JazzDeath's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
I got a warning for spam, so that's whatever, I just think the ban is ridiculous. Either way, it's done.
JazzDeath is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-24-2011, 10:41 PM   #15
Joshua1207
Hipster Jesus
 
Joshua1207's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
I like the intro you got there. Kind of horrorish. I like how you guys used the 'lead' instrument things. Gives it kind of a game-like sound. I do agree with everybody else in this thread that at times you do kind of got a lot going on at once. For the most part it was layered well. I like the change in mood (kind of) that you start at bar 98. The way you have it written out some of it seems like it'd be pretty hard to play in real life though, mostly because of having to stretch too far.
I didn't like the transition to 'Darkness' too much. I mean it wasn't terrible, but it could use a little work (I'm pretty bad at transitions myself). At bar 210 the lead square riff thing was pretty cool. Bar 218 was another bad transition, I'd say. I don't care for the guitar riff at bar 267-270 at all. Just sounds ew in my opinion. Outro was pretty good. Oh, I also liked the drums throughout the song too.

This isn't my type of music at all, so my opinion probably doesn't matter too much on this, but yeah. If you could return the favor http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1435550
__________________
LISTEN TO MY NEWEST HITS @ SOUNDCLOUD
https://soundcloud.com/joshua1207
Download my Visual Novel here Information about it here
New Album Melancholic
LIKE MY FACEBOOK http://www.facebook.com/MockOffMusic
Joshua1207 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2011, 02:32 AM   #16
HaydenHohns
Maths/Music Enthusiast
 
HaydenHohns's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
@RedDeath9: I've been told I'm pretty smart from a mathematical and musical perspective. I divided up what the major styles and sub styles that were in it. Then after that I had about 70-80 percent of the piece, the remaining percentage being an amalgam of the two predominant styles which explains how you said the two of you tried to adapt to each others styles.

BTW, I've sent you a PM of my new thread, Pillars of Creation. You can probably find it floating around here if you check this before your messages.

Last edited by HaydenHohns : 07-03-2012 at 07:38 AM.
HaydenHohns is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2011, 08:13 AM   #17
Erra93
erriuyai
 
Erra93's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Stockholm, Sweden
Oh hello, Animals As Leaders?!
__________________
Vona
(melodic hardcore - Stardust [single] out now!)
Erra93 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2011, 12:32 AM   #18
huevos
Signt, oo Jaed?
 
huevos's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Spot reserved for crit.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Erra93
Oh hello, Animals As Leaders?!


I didn't hear that too much. I was thinking more Periphery with teh troo metalz!
This piece is more expansive than I imagined it would be (which say a lot). So the reservation still stands.

Last edited by huevos : 04-26-2011 at 01:19 AM.
huevos is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2011, 04:43 PM   #19
Geldin
Registered User
 
Geldin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. Having listened to the song again, I have returned to comment on it only to find that Life if Brutal and Hayden have said everything I wanted to.

There are good ideas, but arrangement doesn't take full advantage of the sonic palette you've given yourself.
__________________
I have an album. Listen to it.
The Sleeping Fury

The album is streaming here
Geldin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-06-2011, 03:41 AM   #20
RedDeath9
UG's Nu/Shyguy
 
RedDeath9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Vancouver, British Columbia
Sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you guys, I'd been kinda busy with finals and then moving back home. I've critted Joshua's and LIB's piece; I'll hopefully get to Hayden's tomorrow.

Thank you all for the crits by the way
__________________

This creature sleeps beyond the flow of time
RedDeath9 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:56 PM.

Forum Archives / About / Terms of Use / Advertise / Contact / Ultimate-Guitar.Com © 2014
Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.0.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.