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Old 05-02-2011, 09:55 PM   #1
actaderock
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my first attempt on an acoustic song C4C

i plan playing this at the talent show, tell me what you think and off course, C4C
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Old 05-02-2011, 10:36 PM   #2
Mean Mr Mustard
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Well, so far I have listened to parts 1 through 4 and to be completely honest, it sounds just like a collection of little riffs and ideas. This lack of cohesiveness is just enhanced by the different rhythms used (like the triplets in section 4). The sections have not even been that memorable, and they definitely need something to stick them all together, if you're using them all.

Section 6 was the best one I think. Overall, nothing stuck with me though. You need to sit down and rethink this song. Section could make an intro into a song. Youll just need a new section after that and try to expand on it. If youre going to be singing, its different, because I would tell you to start by writing a very simply song with plain chords for you to sing over and go from there. If its an instrumental acoustic song, I still recommend only about 2-3 sections that sounds well together, it will hold your listeners attention.

Im not saying that what youve written is bad or anything, I just think you need to structure it better, and that doesnt mean that you should stick some repeated sections in throughout randomly like some bands do. Try to get a few ideas out of this and organize them better. Good luck. My favorite acoustic instrumental is Is There Anybody Out There by Pink Floyd (Well, I would consider it an acoustic instrumental).

C4C?
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Old 05-02-2011, 10:52 PM   #3
actaderock
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mean Mr Mustard
Well, so far I have listened to parts 1 through 4 and to be completely honest, it sounds just like a collection of little riffs and ideas. This lack of cohesiveness is just enhanced by the different rhythms used (like the triplets in section 4). The sections have not even been that memorable, and they definitely need something to stick them all together, if you're using them all.

Section 6 was the best one I think. Overall, nothing stuck with me though. You need to sit down and rethink this song. Section could make an intro into a song. Youll just need a new section after that and try to expand on it. If youre going to be singing, its different, because I would tell you to start by writing a very simply song with plain chords for you to sing over and go from there. If its an instrumental acoustic song, I still recommend only about 2-3 sections that sounds well together, it will hold your listeners attention.

Im not saying that what youve written is bad or anything, I just think you need to structure it better, and that doesnt mean that you should stick some repeated sections in throughout randomly like some bands do. Try to get a few ideas out of this and organize them better. Good luck. My favorite acoustic instrumental is Is There Anybody Out There by Pink Floyd (Well, I would consider it an acoustic instrumental).

C4C?


OK, thanks and i know exactly what you mean

BTW, it's instrumental


and yeah, is there anybody out there is an excelent song
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Old 05-09-2011, 10:36 AM   #4
Joshua1207
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Sorry for the late critic back, but anyways
the section two part reminds me of a renaissance type thing lol. I enjoyed the riff. But I agree with the person above that all of these just sounds like random riffs being played after each other. I mean I like most of the riffs but its pretty much just random riffs over and over. I'd work on some transitions.
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