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Old 06-18-2011, 11:00 PM   #1
Life Is Brutal
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Amorphous (Prog/Djent inspired) C4C

Woke up and listened to some Ever Forthright and Animals as Leaders, and decided to write this. Its much more prog than Djent, although I would say there is still a good amount of subliminal Djent influence.

I wrote this is record time, as it was finished within 2-3 days of starting it. That being said, theres only 60 or so bars of non repetitive material, although the repeats give it structure.

Song is based almost entirely off of fifths, suspended chords, and modulation by chordal application.

C4C as always.
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File Type: gp5 Amorphous.gp5 (90.1 KB, 579 views)
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Old 06-18-2011, 11:22 PM   #2
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I definitely hear the AaL in this. It's really good to hear stuff like this gaining ground in terms of popularity.

Some of the stretches in the djent riff seem a bit hard to do, but I don't think it's anything that can't be worked around. All the riffs themselves are great, and they all transition great. My only real complaint is that the structure is very lazy. Repeating one riff is fine, but taking all three of your main ideas and repeating them in the same order just comes off as repetitive. Although the strength of the ideas is enough to carry the listener past that repetition, I think you'd do well to fix that. As is, though, it's still a great piece. The echo melody at the end was great, loved that.

C4C? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1452586
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Old 06-18-2011, 11:35 PM   #3
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Already critted yours and advertised mine.

The whole song is difficult to do, although there are ways to play things such as the Djent riff. Yeah, the structure is lazy, but I wanted to add more material, rather than cut it off at around 70 measures, which is only 2 minutes or so at 120 BPM.

Thanks for the crit.
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Old 06-19-2011, 02:26 PM   #4
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I really loved it, definitely AaL influenced, maybe too influenced. It was a great song, but there were parts that almost sounded exactly like CAFO. You should try to find some more djent/prog influences, try Periphery, TeseracT, Scale the Summit, and Protest the Hero. Other than that it was amazing.
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Old 06-19-2011, 04:50 PM   #5
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CAFO was a model for the sound, but where does it sound like it exactly? Or is it like an "In General" Sound?
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Old 06-19-2011, 07:58 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by Life Is Brutal
CAFO was a model for the sound, but where does it sound like it exactly? Or is it like an "In General" Sound?


In general, kinda how the riffs look and sound and almost the structure kinda sounds like CAFO.
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Old 06-21-2011, 01:29 AM   #7
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OK, I'm pretty sure we're even once I finish this crit. I'm not too fussed on Djent (Just so you know that if anything comes off as harsh to not take it seriously).

Intro: You're off to a great start, however I would remove the Bass and add a Delay/Chorus on the Guitar to give it a more mystical feel.

Possible Djent: Good, this sounds promising (Reminds me of This Godless Endeavour by Nevermore).

Badassery: Not so (IMO). I think the modulation lacks direction when changing back and forth. I think one more modulation at the end (And played in a higher position) would round it off. The transition works very nicely though. I liked it a lot.

More Badassery: Reminds me of the parallell add9th chords used in Bite The Pain by Death, but more technical with the arpeggios at the end. Definitely an awesome section. The tapping reminds me of Death (Tonality --> Parallel chords) and Symphony X (Technique --> Advanced Tapping). This is definitely a good thing in my books as they're two of my top ten favourite Progressive Metal bands. The chord based section with the melodic Bass was great. I loved the chord progression and the timbre variation was perfect.

Basic Repeat: This isn't necessarily a bad thing because it reminds me of (Structurally) Domenico Scarlatti.

Outro: The delay and timbre change in the Outro was a very suitable ending.

Overall, I'd say you've done a bang up job. Didn't detect any Djent as far as I'm concerned. Much more like Symphony X if they all listened to Jazz instead of Western Art Music. Keep up the good work.

BTW, I've recorded a Rough Mix of Phalanx (The last song of mine which you critted) with some variations. You can listen to it on my Profile if you're up for some Math (And I mean Math as in I used Maths to compose some of it, not Mathcore)/Jazz/Fusion/Death Metal.
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Old 06-21-2011, 10:08 AM   #8
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Nice to see another AAL fan around.

Intro was cool, very proggy sounding chord progressions, makes me think of BTBAM. I quite like the rhythms in this song, the possible djent and Badassery has some cool rhythms and melodies. The bass really adds here.

The transition into More Badassery was really cool and the break was alright, it kinda seemed really typically proggy. In that it just sounds really technical but I didn't quite like the melody itself. But the chordal part with the kinda solo thing on top worked really nicely, this part is probably the highlight in the last few dozen bars.

The repeat works well, maybe you could add like synths in the background on the repeat? The ending was going really well with the acoustic guitars and delay, but then it kinda just ended. I'm sure you could drag that out a bit more.

Great piece though man, maybe you wanna work on some of the things I mentioned but it's good how it is now anyway.

c4c? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1453656 It's a WIP, and make sure you listen to the newest version!
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Old 06-21-2011, 02:10 PM   #9
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http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1453717

Sorry forgot to put a link on my crit.
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Old 06-21-2011, 06:12 PM   #10
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Thanks for the crits, I'll get to yours soon.

I'm revising the repeat and adding some more sections to fix some problems. Should be a much more engaging piece when I am finished.

Hohns, about the 5add9 chords and Death, I was worried that I might compose something too similar to the intro to "Flesh and The Power it Holds".
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Old 06-21-2011, 07:23 PM   #11
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No, there's a distinct difference (IMO), the difference is in execution. Chuck Schuldiner had an atypical approach to writing riffs (He never learnt theory but taught himself his own method in a strange way) but it's less impressive from a technical aspect. Where as "Amorphous" is more straightforward riff-wise but is far more impressive from a technical aspect. My only real advice to you is if you continue down the technical path is to let the music breathe once in a while. Not to say you haven't already been doing this, but just treat it as a reminder.

If you're revisiting the repeated sections may I suggest some modulation (Modulate to a new key in the second riff, then modulate back down for the final or go up again would be advised) and a super shreddy solo. Perhaps in the vein of "A Moment of Clarity" by Death. Except cross-fade into the acoustic/delay outro.

You can call me Haydos if you so desire. I get called that at school so I'm used to that.
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Old 06-21-2011, 07:49 PM   #12
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Haydos? I'll consider it.
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Old 06-26-2011, 09:20 PM   #13
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Yeah, I can really hear the AaL in this, with a little less wankery.

Overall, there is somewhat of a spacey feel. Despite the fact that the intro riff is in 4/4, it feels as if it's in some odd time signature instead, mostly because of the drums. Normally I like progressive drum tracks, but the one in the intro riff just struck me odd. It just feels uneven and odd in general. I like the bass in the Possible Djent section, it serves as a nice transition. Badassery was my favorite section. More Badassery was more of the same, but it also serves as a nice transition. 45-48 was pretty cool, but it was unnecessary. It doesn't really build up to anything, it's just another transition, but it had almost nothing to do with the previous part. Guitar Two's part at 53 was a great addition, and reminds me of "Point to Point" for some reason. And though I would have liked to hear Badassery repeated, it seemed a bit unfitting after that part. Well, the rest of the song was mostly a repeat, but I do like the part at 101. The bass and the guitars come together in a very pleasant way.
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Old 06-26-2011, 11:16 PM   #14
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I just realized how crappy the intro drumming is. I'll fix that, and I'm also improving the piece as a whole. I like the transition at 45-48, but I'll keep that in mind that a better section could help improve it. Ill also change the transition into the secondnd Badassery, as I wanted to be able to post this and get opinions on it without leaving the song completely open ended and through played.
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