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Old 06-22-2011, 08:29 PM   #1
HaydenHohns
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New Conceptual Instrumental/Progressive/Jazz/Death Metal Composition (GP4/5, C4C)

Ok, I've taken advice given from responses to previous threads of mine and the one thing I seem to be having trouble with is developing ideas. I mean I've modified previous themes melodically and structurally in this one but I can't keep the length up (4:27). I mean it's still pretty good but maybe it needs more length...I don't know. Feedback regarding the structure and perhaps some examples (As in compositions/artists which you recommend) that may help would be really appreciative. I still think this is my best piece in regards to melodic/thematic development but I think there needs to be more of it.

There isn't any MIDI because it's too big. The next paragraph deals with the concept of the piece, don't read onwards if you want to listen to it without knowing the concept (It's still a rough idea though...and somewhat cliche but it's still cool).

Musical Inspiration: Death, Cynic, Atheist, Nevermore, Gorguts, Deicide (Yeah they've grown on me), Ihsahn and a lot of Traditional Jazz.

Conceptual Inspiration: Final Fantasy VII/Versus XIII, Jak II, Full Metal Alchemist, Star Wars.

Setting: Highly industrialised city (Similar to something like Final Fantasy 7 or Jak II), dependent on technology, corrupt government, rebels etc.

Prologue: The hero of this piece has been captured by the corrupt government for witnessing an illegal deal with a neighbouring nation with the president. He is captured and is sent to a bio-engineering firm to become a test subject. They inject him with chemicals that modify his DNA, making him stronger, smarter etc. This puts him in a three year slumber, however his body functions normally...

*Fast forward three years*

Our hero escapes his prison (A), bars 16-18 depict the president of this firm getting angry and sending elite military enforcement to stop him from escaping. (B) is our hero getting used to his new senses and abilities while fighting off military units. The parallel 4ths harmony is a musical representation of how foreign his world has become. (C) is rising action between the hero and the elite military units, he has also escaped the HQ of the building, hence a new chord progression. [D] is basically where they call for backup. Bars 42-44 is where the hero reaches a dead end (Oh No!). But wait, the counter melodies/harmonies in (E) represent the arrival of assistance from a rebel group who intend to bring justice to the government. (F) - A brief moment of success but something doesn't quite feel right is still lingering with all the flattened 5th intervals. Bars 72-73 is a climax, where one of the rebels is killed in action, and our hero can't comprehend why (G). He is angered by the state at which his home town is currently in. Bars 74-83 depict the military slowly surrounding them as our heroes (We have the rebels who are helping him remember) find that they are slowly being cornered. (I) is where our central character is about to go nuts. Bars 98-105, our hero goes nuts. He starts tearing down the military with his awesome strength and speed. (J) - Our hero has met his match (Or rather his equivalent) in the most elite of our military soldiers here, the tritones on odd accents represent this tension very well, neither can strike a blow at each other. (K) - They both unleash the most devastating of attacks upon each other until they both collapse (Bars 118-119). Our rebels take advantage of the shock from intense battling and scoop up our hero and make a run for their base (L). (E) - Our heroes meet a check point where other members of the rebels assist in their escape. (F) - Is a revelation of the hero, who now knows that he's going to have to fight in order to save his city, and that many innocent lives will be lost.

Hope that helps in understanding the plot. Hope you all enjoy.
Attached Files
File Type: gp5 Template13V4.gp5 (87.2 KB, 103 views)
File Type: gp4 Template13V4.gp4 (55.3 KB, 31 views)

Last edited by HaydenHohns : 06-24-2011 at 07:55 PM.
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Old 06-23-2011, 03:20 PM   #2
amonamarthmetal
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Reserved for crit ( I'm on my iPod so I will get back to you when I'm on my computer)
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Old 06-24-2011, 09:58 AM   #3
Seb1uk
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I really enjoyed listening to that and reading the story. It would've nicer if you split up your wall of text into paragraphs though hah, I got a bit lost some times. You expressed these plot moments really well and it definitely made sense. I'm glad to see a FMA fan here, I almost imagined Ed himself being the 'hero'.

The intro was really nice, I'm not sure if it quite expressed what you wrote in the prologue, but I almost imagined it as if there was no image and just that text telling us what happened. But for the rest of the song I really visualised the moments. The A section is pretty sick. The parallel 4ths in B really worked well in representing a foreign setting, and C was probably my favourite section. I really liked how you showed the hero reaching 'a dead end', and also the whole realisation of getting cornered, it just worked really well.

The only thing I was disappointed in were the action scene sections, as in I and J. It didn't really sound right when the drums just came in at bar 102. And I think you really should've made it more epic, slightly brighter too, not saying it should've been a happy moment but more in the same feel as section A. I know you brought it back soon after, but I felt like when the villain and hero meet it shouldn't necessarily have been so dissonant in the music.

The rest of the song works great though. Really epic piece man, but there was that I section that I feel let the piece down. Maybe it's just how I visualise the music, but consider it.
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Old 06-25-2011, 03:43 AM   #4
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This piece of music proves that Hayden is intelligent and a true prog fan; with use of unusual time signatures and chord progressions this piece is interesting and entertaining to listen to. The main theme of the piece undergoes many changes throughout the piece which develops the music to a suspenseful climax. This piece of music will leave u wanting to listen to it again and again. Anyone who disagrees is unintelligent and not a true prog fan.
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Old 06-25-2011, 10:32 AM   #5
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Just a quick note, you forgot to put the volume of the bass up again after fading it out at 74.

Good stuff by the way, but I don't have time nor something for you to crit back on for the time being. If I do I will come back though.
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Old 06-25-2011, 12:29 PM   #6
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Wow.

Very interesting piece, great themes, interesting and entertaining storyline. I like how you're able to equate feelings to certain intervals and phrases, yet I simultaneously dislike this for some reason. I had a good reason when listening, but its alluding me at the moment...

Also, about the intro, and "Illegal" Government deal... If its high enough in the government, at the presidential level at this case, its no longer an "Illegal Deal", its called "Diplomacy".

Awesome song, a breakdown of this piece would be rather redundant as you've already done that yourself, so I'm not going to be like "The diminished harmonies here create an intense series of tones that instill terror in the listener", because as said, you already know that. Most likely.

I also imagined Ed a bit for this story, as it seems very FMA inspired.
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Old 06-25-2011, 06:26 PM   #7
HaydenHohns
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@Seb1uk: Thanks for the great review. I most definitely will consider that section as I think it needs to be more chaotic. Probably not what you meant but I definitely will address that section. The intro is sort of a setting thing where you a camera is using a birds-eye type view starting really far out (Looking over the entire country) to zooming right in to the immediate action type thing.

@alex-guitarist: Ha! Nice reference to the 101 on Prog Metal. I love that. Thanks for the excellent review.

@valdean: Thanks for that. I didn't even notice not hearing any bass (LOL!).

@Life Is Brutal: "its no longer an "Illegal Deal", its called "Diplomacy". "

Ha! that made my day. I may not have elaborated enough but it's like he's using tax money to suit his own gain type thing. No diplomacy whatsoever I'm afraid. The chase scene in this is very much inspired by FMA (How they smash through walls and jump buildings etc) but the setting is most definitely Final Fantasy, due to the fact it is a dystopian city that relies on technology.

Thanks for all the astounding crits, I owe you one (Again!) LIB. Make sure you PM me if I don't find it (Your next comp that is) and crit back within a couple days of it being posted.

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Old 06-25-2011, 08:20 PM   #8
JCAshworth247
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Very good piece of art you got here.
I know what you mean when you say, "don't read onwards if you want to listen to it without knowing the concept," I like to have my mind create a story while listning (which is another reason I like listen to music in which I can't understand the vocalist )
I liked your technique when it came to harmony and switching between guitars and doing a riif in treble and then similar one in the bass
This song is strong structurally as well, At first I thought you had two clean interludes, but then I realized the other was an outro (which was like the intro) and that worked well. Sorry, this isn't much of a critique but this deserves a compliment
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Old 06-25-2011, 09:04 PM   #9
Life Is Brutal
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I thought Alex-Guitarist was being a bit of a kiss-ass, honestly...
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Old 06-25-2011, 09:27 PM   #10
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@JCAshworth247:Hey I really appreciate the compliments. It reaffirms what is good and what needs improving. As far as harmony, counter melodies and voicings go, I studied various types of fugues and essentially any type of polyphonic music. A lot of Baroque music contained polyphonic texture and some musical theatre based works include this style of composition. I was getting sick of the whole "we use diatonic 3rds we're so musical" attitude that so many metal bands adopt these days. Domenico Scarlatti is one I recommend for phrasing and melodic development while Bach experimented largely with polyphonic texture. So look up those two composers if you're interested in how I composed those melodies. I'll get on to Holy Temple right away.

@Life Is Brutal: It's a joke. Look up '101 Rules of Prog Metal" on Google (On Metal Storm or something). It should put you in stitches. The Death Metal and Doom Metal ones are the best though (IMO).
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Old 06-25-2011, 10:15 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HaydenHohns
@JCAshworth247:Hey I really appreciate the compliments. It reaffirms what is good and what needs improving. As far as harmony, counter melodies and voicings go, I studied various types of fugues and essentially any type of polyphonic music. A lot of Baroque music contained polyphonic texture and some musical theatre based works include this style of composition. I was getting sick of the whole "we use diatonic 3rds we're so musical" attitude that so many metal bands adopt these days. Domenico Scarlatti is one I recommend for phrasing and melodic development while Bach experimented largely with polyphonic texture. So look up those two composers if you're interested in how I composed those melodies. I'll get on to Holy Temple right away.

@Life Is Brutal: It's a joke. Look up '101 Rules of Prog Metal" on Google (On Metal Storm or something). It should put you in stitches. The Death Metal and Doom Metal ones are the best though (IMO).


Okay thanks, and those thirds are commonly seen in metal music so this was a good break from that
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Old 06-26-2011, 03:56 AM   #12
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All I can say is.............. AWESOME!! O_O

C4C? lol

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1455168
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