Go Back   UG Community @ Ultimate-Guitar.Com > UG Community > The Pit
User Name  
Password
Search:

Reply
Old 07-24-2011, 02:12 AM   #41
vicarious46
Registered Masshole
 
vicarious46's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Assachusetts
Soviet man traveling winter night stops at log house to rest although should be working. Man notices house has many painting, angry comrades all staring down on him. Man sleep anyway.
Soviet man wakes up in morning. Notices log house has many window, no painting. KGB watched him, arrests man for being capitilist pig for sleeping, not producing for motherland.

Such is life in Mother Russia


amidoinitrite?
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by ErikLensherr
Don't belittle it like that, your mom produces top quality stuff.



C4C
Hammerhead
Anglerfish

VOTE
Thrustor: 2012
vicarious46 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 02:17 AM   #42
UntilISleep
Winter is Coming.
 
UntilISleep's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waco, Texas
Quote:
Originally Posted by vicarious46
Soviet man traveling winter night stops at log house to rest although should be working. Man notices house has many painting, angry comrades all staring down on him. Man sleep anyway.
Soviet man wakes up in morning. Notices log house has many window, no painting. KGB watched him, arrests man for being capitilist pig for sleeping, not producing for motherland.

Such is life in Mother Russia


amidoinitrite?




UntilISleep is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 02:19 AM   #43
ryan_nadon
ass brain
 
ryan_nadon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wyoming
Quote:
Originally Posted by vicarious46
Soviet man traveling winter night stops at log house to rest although should be working. Man notices house has many painting, angry comrades all staring down on him. Man sleep anyway.
Soviet man wakes up in morning. Notices log house has many window, no painting. KGB watched him, arrests man for being capitilist pig for sleeping, not producing for motherland.

Such is life in Mother Russia


amidoinitrite?

Yes, you are doinitrite.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by SomeoneYouKnew
Your post was the only bright spot in this disgusting piece of thread.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lexanirider78
You have balls. I like balls....(awkward silence)

Quote:
Originally Posted by SeveralSpecies
I waited for the rape.

...


...but the rape never came
ryan_nadon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 02:21 AM   #44
goldmember1217
No Cure For Fools
 
goldmember1217's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: TN / GA
Thread of the year, undoubtedly.
__________________
goldmember1217 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 02:26 AM   #45
primusfan
Conspiracy Music Theorist
 
primusfan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: LOLville, KY
i have not laughed this hard at the internet in months.
__________________
#DTWD
primusfan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 02:27 AM   #46
lolmnt
Earth of the Butt
 
lolmnt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: florida
Quote:
Originally Posted by vicarious46
Soviet man traveling winter night stops at log house to rest although should be working. Man notices house has many painting, angry comrades all staring down on him. Man sleep anyway.
Soviet man wakes up in morning. Notices log house has many window, no painting. KGB watched him, arrests man for being capitilist pig for sleeping, not producing for motherland.

Such is life in Mother Russia


amidoinitrite?


doinitsorite
__________________
*-)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
lolmnt is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 02:28 AM   #47
SeveralSpecies
UG Senior Member
 
SeveralSpecies's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Madison, New Jersey
Comrade child hears about prostate orgasms being best of all orgasms. Child buys carrot from market and lubes it up with jelly like substancings. After use, boy stashes carrot in clothing basket and goes downstairs for evening meal. Later, he finds carrot is gone. Mother has found it and uses it for dinner because carrot cost a days work in Russia and nothing can be going to waste.

...

whatever.
SeveralSpecies is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 02:28 AM   #48
due 07
haaan
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by genghisgandhi
Legend has it that Walt Disney made secret cartoon that never aired. It depicted a mouse which owned a steamboat business independent of the state.



My fail attempt.
Lawl.
due 07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 02:29 AM   #49
genghisgandhi
RIP DJ Screw
 
genghisgandhi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: New Jersey
Quote:
Originally Posted by SeveralSpecies
Comrade child hears about prostate orgasms being best of all orgasms. Child buys carrot from market and lubes it up with jelly like substancings. After use, boy stashes carrot in clothing basket and goes downstairs for evening meal. Later, he finds carrot is gone. Mother has found it and uses it for dinner because carrot cost a days work in Russia and nothing can be going to waste.

...

whatever.





9.6 - Best New Thread.
genghisgandhi is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 02:30 AM   #50
blake1221
‭‭
 
blake1221's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Young boy finds pictures lying on side of road. Pictures show girl, in distance. Girl looks like sister, but cannot tell. As boy flips through pictures, girl gets closer and closer. When almost home, he makes it to last picture, where girl is eye to eye with camera.

Girl comes out of home. In driveway, she finds pictures. Pictures show boy who looks much like brother, but is too far away to tell.

Girl throws pictures away. She will scold brother when he gets home, for buying American camera to play with. Even young must support motherland!
blake1221 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 02:35 AM   #51
abdulalhazred
UG Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Is little girl who walks through the forest to visit sick grandmother. Her cape is red like blood of fallen comrade. Capitalist wolf stops her, "Little girl, I come to profit from your labor." Girl flees corrupt Western canine. Girl makes it to grandmother's hovel. Girl kills sick grandmother for refusing to work for the beloved Motherland.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by RU Experienced?
Now with 20 percent more Allah!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Borsworth
^^^


Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenRose94

that'd be slightly creepy if i didn't find it so amusing.
abdulalhazred is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 02:36 AM   #52
UntilISleep
Winter is Coming.
 
UntilISleep's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waco, Texas
Quote:
Originally Posted by abdulalhazred
Is little girl who walks through the forest to visit sick grandmother. Her cape is red like blood of fallen comrade. Capitalist wolf stops her, "Little girl, I come to profit from your labor." Girl flees corrupt Western canine. Girl makes it to grandmother's hovel. Girl kills sick grandmother for refusing to work for the beloved Motherland.

wat
UntilISleep is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 02:36 AM   #53
SeveralSpecies
UG Senior Member
 
SeveralSpecies's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Madison, New Jersey
Quote:
Originally Posted by abdulalhazred
Is little girl who walks through the forest to visit sick grandmother. Her cape is red like blood of fallen comrade. Capitalist wolf stops her, "Little girl, I come to profit from your labor." Girl flees corrupt Western canine. Girl makes it to grandmother's hovel. Girl kills sick grandmother for refusing to work for the beloved Motherland.



SeveralSpecies is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 02:38 AM   #54
necrosis1193
Autonomatonomonapoton
 
necrosis1193's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: The Moon


Thread is kredit to teem!
__________________
Hey you! Yes, you! Buy my music! It's cool and stuff!

Baltimore Orioles: 96-66, 2014 AL Eastern division champions
York Capitals: 5-3
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 world champions, 2014: 9-5
2014 Pick 'Em: 150-72-1
necrosis1193 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 02:38 AM   #55
primusfan
Conspiracy Music Theorist
 
primusfan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: LOLville, KY
You on date with Viktoriya to make children to join labor force for betterment of Mother Russia. You want to romance, but you also likes savings the money. So you take to Lenin Lane. When there, government radio worker announce crazed capitalist pig-dog is loose. He misses one hand and instead has sickle. Viktoriya hear scratching on door and want leave.

Drive back to house in 1958 Volga. Drop off to find sickle stuck on door handle. Grab sickle from door, pair with hammer. Go to work. Capitalist pig-dog sent to gulag for scaring teens with sickle, not working fields with it. Waste of time.

Opulence. You has it.


hopeimdoinitrite
__________________
#DTWD

Last edited by primusfan : 07-24-2011 at 02:40 AM.
primusfan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 02:40 AM   #56
vicarious46
Registered Masshole
 
vicarious46's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Assachusetts
Old Russian tale says there exsist many ice rock far north, on island Severnaya. At cross between ice rock lay a canyon. It is believed that when sat inside canyon, coldness will be gone forever and angels sing. Many a Russian comrade venture here. Never return...
Tale is sensationalist lie made by Government to get rid of those who dream instead of work.

Such is life in Mother Russia


EDIT:
Comrade in Moscow dream of vacation, wants change of scenery. Talks to everyone saying he work hard and deserve time away with more vodka.
Government gives man free vacation to Serbia. No vodka
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by ErikLensherr
Don't belittle it like that, your mom produces top quality stuff.



C4C
Hammerhead
Anglerfish

VOTE
Thrustor: 2012

Last edited by vicarious46 : 07-24-2011 at 02:43 AM.
vicarious46 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 02:41 AM   #57
sloppyjoe24
CHOO CHOO!
 
sloppyjoe24's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: U.S.
This stuff is amazing.
__________________

Q#m
e|--6--|
B|--5--|
G|--7--|
D|--7--|x2586
A|--5--|
E|-----|


Play until she breaks up with you.

The most brutal band to ever exist is...

You should go like them...even if you don't like them.


-Sloppyjoe24
sloppyjoe24 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 02:42 AM   #58
Amuro Jay
challenging santa
 
Amuro Jay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Ra Cailum
Man who live in humble soviet home receives many letter one day. Are big letter, with much content within.

Man open first letter, and find pictures of dead people inside. He knows there is to be more picture in the other letter, so no need to open. He burn letters for warmth.

Suddenly, man attacked from behind. Is soviet soldiers. Man did not distribute letters evenly among his peers for warmth from burn, so is executed.

Such is life in Soviet Russia.
Amuro Jay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 02:43 AM   #59
genghisgandhi
RIP DJ Screw
 
genghisgandhi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: New Jersey
Two American tourists drive down road in Russia when car tire go flat. Russian scientist finds them in poor condition and take them back to house. There, American scum see Chinese socialist comrade in cage on floor. Russian scientist explains plan to attach one of their mouth to others excrement depository. No food can go to waste in the motherland.
genghisgandhi is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 02:50 AM   #60
abdulalhazred
UG Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Is 3 capitalist pigs.
First capitalist pig builds his house out of tears of peasant class laborers.
Second capitalist pig builds house out of bones of forgotten comrades.
Third, most decadent of all capitalist pigs builds his house from blue jeans.

ALL CRUSHED BY MIGHTY STALIN!
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by RU Experienced?
Now with 20 percent more Allah!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Borsworth
^^^


Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenRose94

that'd be slightly creepy if i didn't find it so amusing.
abdulalhazred is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:17 PM.

Forum Archives / About / Terms of Use / Advertise / Contact / Ultimate-Guitar.Com © 2014
Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.0.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.