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Old 07-24-2011, 07:12 AM   #81
CheezMeUp
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Soviet scientist test capitalists for drug that keeps you awake. Capitalists do great, need no sleep and start working hard for motherland. After few days, capitalists start being nervous and twitchy, Soviet scientist throws in vodka to keep them calm. They work more hard.
After weeks, capitalists start killing eachother and throw feces at Soviet scientist. Day later, all capitalists have killed eachother and Soviet scientist keeps vodka to himself.

Scientist gets awarded by Stalin for making capitalists work and kill them after.
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maybe it's because of your description, or the fact that it's 1:30am here, or both, i can't stop giggling.


Sometimes girls say that too...
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Old 07-24-2011, 07:13 AM   #82
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You ask for 2 goats and get 3 goats
You can't explain that.
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Old 07-24-2011, 07:14 AM   #83
CheezMeUp
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twist of fate
You ask for 2 goats and get 3 goats
You can't explain that.


Goats reproduce for sake of Motherland. Goats are true Soviets.
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maybe it's because of your description, or the fact that it's 1:30am here, or both, i can't stop giggling.


Sometimes girls say that too...
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Old 07-24-2011, 08:20 AM   #84
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Quote:
is this really THAT funny? may be it's just me being from a post soviet country and having all this shit happened to my ancestors but still i only smile a bit on the funny ones :P:

It's ok, comrade, we can now start our own thread and write jokes про негров и рабство. И Вьетнам. И Буша младшего. Funny funny stuff. Such is the life in America.

Last edited by Gexzilla : 07-24-2011 at 08:24 AM.
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Old 07-24-2011, 09:25 AM   #85
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In Summer 1961, Glorious Soviet motherland suffer great drought, no rain fall for many week, halt vodka production and drinking of waters. Defence Ministry conduct atmospheric nuclear test in Oktober of year. Rain fall next day. Weather not true Soviet.
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Old 07-24-2011, 09:40 AM   #86
bastards
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A soviet daughter lay with me, her beloved friend, when KGB come into home. Bootsteps in the dead of night down hall to mother and fathers room. I could hear them dragging mother and father, and their nails filing against the wood. Take them to work forever. Come inside room and take my beloved friend against will, to another room and close door behind.

Such is life in soviet russia, with paws


EDIT

altered ending: I kid! Have no paws! Family skip work for being sick. We take them to work and burn dog for warmth.

Such is life in soviet russia, eh?
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Last edited by bastards : 07-24-2011 at 10:02 AM.
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Old 07-24-2011, 10:21 AM   #87
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These are a great way to get over a fear of actual creepypasta.
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Old 07-24-2011, 10:32 AM   #88
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I will give it a try later, wish me wit and strength, comrades!
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Old 07-24-2011, 11:01 AM   #89
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My comrade and I not know one another very well. Niet, true child of motherland does not waste state air on small talk. I already say t
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Old 07-24-2011, 11:50 AM   #90
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Originally Posted by jetfuel495
Man who live in humble soviet home receives many letter one day. Are big letter, with much content within.

Man open first letter, and find pictures of dead people inside. He knows there is to be more picture in the other letter, so no need to open. He burn letters for warmth.

Suddenly, man attacked from behind. Is soviet soldiers. Man did not distribute letters evenly among his peers for warmth from burn, so is executed.

Such is life in Soviet Russia.

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A creamy guinness from a proper shitty old man bar will save your life, but a bad one from a nightclub will destroy your arsehole.

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Old 07-24-2011, 11:55 AM   #91
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Two young comrades were friends of best, next to Stalin. One day they discuss glory of Lenin, heroism of Trotsky, wondering if there Moscow after Death. So, they make promise, whoever goes first would ring a bell from the other side to tell the other. Is wait for Mother Russia to distribute bells evenly to all comrades.

Several years later, when all of Russia rejoices with bells, comrade dies in a vodka accident. In the memorial service, faint bell sounds were heard. Comrade happy that she remembered her promise, and is someplace they might meet again someday.

Then the sound became feverish as if the ringer was in a panic.

Such is Heaven in Mother Russia.
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Old 07-24-2011, 12:00 PM   #92
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After long day in shoe factory, girl is home for 2 hour sleeping break. There is rumour of dirty capitalist pig in sacred motherland of Soviet Russia. There is many poster depicting this pig who defies the word of Stalin and sells dirty Capitalist magazines.

She looks out of the hole in the wall of her house and sees this man heading towards her house. But then glorious KGB beat Capitalist pig to ground, and send him to labour camp in Siberia to break down rocks. Girl is also beaten for looking at dirty Capitalist traitor.

Such is life in Soviet Russia
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Old 07-24-2011, 12:08 PM   #93
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Quote:
Originally Posted by element4433
How many comrades do take to screw in light bulb?

One.




Just made this up:


Father of my father great cosmonaut. First to see above cloud for great Motherland. So, my father tell me. Motherland say it can't be so, for no record exist. Father succumb to vodka madness and perish. Mother spit on his grave for weakness and go to work.

Food scarce now, vodka too. Many hours we wait in line for bread. Can no work when in line. Motherland waits for nourishment, must not test patience. Capitalist uncovered in bread line. Comrades attack and bring dog to his knees. There is deathblow and feeding. Capitalist devoured to nourish workers for Motherland. Flask found in Capitalist remnants. In mad reach for vodka it spill and moisten Motherland soil. There are tears, they season vodka dirt with salt. Looks like meat's back on the menu Comrades.

Such is life in Mother Russia.
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Old 07-24-2011, 12:12 PM   #94
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You in cold tent in the night with your woman. You and woman begin procreation to strengthen the Motherland's numbers. Your woman's phone begins to ring. She answer it, and her face drop. The weak one begins to weep; you ask about call. She says,"It was papa! He was sent to Siberia for talks of liberty!".

NO PHONES IN SIBERIA! WOMAN LIES AND GOES TO SIBERIA!
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Old 07-24-2011, 12:14 PM   #95
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Quote:
Originally Posted by element4433
How many comrades do take to screw in light bulb?

One.


How many comrades do take to screw in light bulb?

None. Light bulbs work of capatalist pigs. Comrades strong and work in dark

Such is life in Mother Russia
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Old 07-24-2011, 12:31 PM   #96
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I don't understand the point of this or see what's funny are you like modifying other texts or something?
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Old 07-24-2011, 12:33 PM   #97
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Akoroon
I don't understand the point of this or see what's funny are you like modifying other texts or something?


Capitalist pigs vill newer understand.

And so, much is the melancholy of Mother Russia.
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Old 07-24-2011, 12:33 PM   #98
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they're taking the basic ideas from copypastas and making them into funny Russian versions of the stories.
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Wanting to know measurements from men's pants to women's pants is a surefire sign of a transsexual serial killer.

Quote:
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A creamy guinness from a proper shitty old man bar will save your life, but a bad one from a nightclub will destroy your arsehole.

lfm
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Old 07-24-2011, 01:14 PM   #99
Drakathan
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Comrade hear on radio that capitalist pig-dog is on the loose in the Motherland. Comrade take a sip of vodka and look through glass doors, and outside see capitalist pig-dog standing in the snow outside of house, smiling at comrade. Comrade take a sip of vodka. Comrade pick up telephone to call KGB. When look out window again, comrade see that capitalist pig-dog is now closer. Comrade then notice there are no footprints in snow. Comrade had been seeing man's reflection. Comrade take a sip of vodka. Comrade turn around and hit capitalist pig-dog repeatedly in face with hardened worker hands. Comrade is sent to Siberia for not sharing vodka with his comrades.

Such is life in Mother Russia.
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That might be my favorite shoop I have ever seen on here.



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Old 07-24-2011, 01:38 PM   #100
Amuro Jay
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Young comrade walk down street when he see picture on ground. Is picture of pretty girl, smiling and holding two fingers like Nixon capitalist pig. He smile too, and take picture with him.

That night KGB come and make him disappear for supporting capitalist pig propoganda.

Next day, small boy see picture. Is of pretty girl, smiling and holding three fingers up.
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