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Old 07-24-2011, 09:30 AM   #1
Erra93
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Stockholm, Sweden
Proud Of The Crows (Groovy Melodic Metalcore!?)

This is the final version of "Nyisk (Drop A)", another guitar has been added, a solo has been written, and a lot more minor changes has been made.
The song name "Proud Of The Crows" refers to being proud of the changes you've made to your life, how you have turned your life around and rebirthed as a better person

I still don't know what genre to put it in, so if you know, please let me know

If you like this song and want to get updates on when I get stuff recorded, like my Facebook page:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Auror...131893783524839
Attached Files
File Type: gp5 Proud Of The Crows.gp5 (62.7 KB, 170 views)
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Last edited by Erra93 : 02-11-2012 at 06:49 AM.
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Old 07-26-2011, 10:09 PM   #2
XxDethmetalxX
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Overall, it was rather interesting...good rhythm...some nice melodies...I enjoyed it.

However: I didn't care for the first few bars of Guitar II...it doesn't seem to add anything significant to the song

Bars 20, 42 could be made more interesting...perhaps try making the second note of each three note sequence a fifth of the previous note? Also, the drums in that bar were rather off-putting...and not in a good way

The solo was pretty nice, could use some minor improvements, though...

Good work, but it needs some touching up

C4C? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1464593
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Old 08-05-2011, 11:31 AM   #3
Erra93
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Quote:
Originally Posted by XxDethmetalxX
Overall, it was rather interesting...good rhythm...some nice melodies...I enjoyed it.

However: I didn't care for the first few bars of Guitar II...it doesn't seem to add anything significant to the song

Bars 20, 42 could be made more interesting...perhaps try making the second note of each three note sequence a fifth of the previous note? Also, the drums in that bar were rather off-putting...and not in a good way

The solo was pretty nice, could use some minor improvements, though...

Good work, but it needs some touching up

C4C? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1464593


Thank you, I might change one of those bars which I myself don't see as necessary

Don't know enough music theory to know what a fifth of the previous note would be
Will probably change the drums though, I don't put that much effort into them when writing songs :<

Do you have any suggestions on improvements I could make?

Did my best to crit your song finally
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Old 08-05-2011, 02:39 PM   #4
GU5T4V
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So, I've listened to the whole thing and here's some part-by-part criticism:

Intro: Quite soothing, although generic, arpeggios. Probably sounds a lot better in your head than through the GP MIDI. However, I find the second guitar to be somewhat clutterish, if you get what I mean. Maybe some effect pedal would spice it up - I perceived it as not much more than random tones.

Verse: Nice riff. Lots of quite unexpected twists and turns rhythmically, which is quite a feat considering the genre.

Chorus: Big chords, standard fair. I expect some equally big singing to be on top of it. A good canvas but someone have to draw something on it, you know.

Second verse: Ups and downs. Feels a bit all over the place, and I think that something needs to be done to bar 37-38. Room for improvement, so to say.

Third verse: Chugging is, and will always be, chugging. However, I like how you try to have new riffs for every verse - helps keep the song feel fresh from start to finish, although it might also seem directionless.

Solo: A bit directionless really . But everyone have their own solo style, and GP can hardly make anything any justice. I'm sure it's better when you play it IRL. I like the post-solo section before the chorus though.

Outro: Favorite part. Drags a bit, but it fits within the context. Like the little melodies that starts peaking up here and there as it progresses.

C4C? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1467906
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Old 08-05-2011, 02:43 PM   #5
clanderson32
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The intro has a very nice brooding vibe to it, only problem is the rythm can barely be heard but otherwise nice build-up.
I really like the rythm in the verse and makes for an interesting listen.
The chorus is actually really good, the subtle lead in the back ground is awesome.
The next verse is okay, i like the first a little better
Chorus, same as above
Verse 3 is a breakdown pretty much and serves its purpose as probably more of a crowd pleaser that everyone can get into
I really like the rythm of the solo, it sounds very original.
chorus and verse repeat
The outro has an old for the fallen dreams to it and is really good!

Overall the song kinda of sounds like an old for the fallen dreams song, but theyre good and original. so good work!
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Old 01-20-2012, 04:28 PM   #6
Ometh
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Since you critted my thread and didn't post a song for me to crit, I just chose a random song out of your sig.
Liking the chords at the beginning, and the fact that when the other guitar comes in Verse 1 it doesn't play a completely predictable backing melody. Nice use of dissonance and groove in the next distorted riff. Digging the Chorus I riff, pretty sweet. Verse II comes in and it's pretty nice and complex variation of the first verse. The use of the first verse riff as a bridge to the second chorus is pretty nice, and makes it seem pretty natural. The breakdownish third verse is pretty nice, liking the use of dissonant but melodic chords, alot better than your average breakdown. The solo at 65 is short but sweet. The short chordy interlude at 71 is a nice transition to the third chorus, wich doesn't sound repetitive at all by now. Digging the "delay riff" at 83. The fourth verse comes in, a variation of the breakdown used earlier, but doesn't sound forced. The outro is slow paced compared to the earlier sections, but is pretty nicely done, with some sweet ring outs, fading out shortly afterwards.
Overall, pretty solid song, liked the overall spastic structure of it, although a longer solo section would be nice: 8/10.
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