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Old 07-27-2011, 08:42 PM   #1
Gibson_SG_uzr55
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The Official NFL Thread v3.0

MOCK DRAFT GAME http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...postcount=19912

Now that the lockout is over, we can start talking serious (American) football again!!


Talk about National Football league here, whether it be the rules of the game, events, player news, transactions, offseason, the game itself, I don't care, talk NFL. Hell, as long as it is non-NFL football related (AFL, CFL, UFL, NCAA, high school) and it doesn't get taken too far off topic, go ahead, as long as it makes it back to NFL talk soon enough (Jackal might insult you for bringing CFL up )


Anywho, if you are new to the thread, and curious as to who roots for whom:

Gibson_SG_uzr55 (me); Jako215; I.O.T.M; WCPhils: Philadelphia Eagles
Cadj; Tanglewoodguit: New York Jets
Jackal58; metal4all; shotgunmerc: Pittsburgh Steelers
stratdud39; perry589; Death_switch; big-T; Andrea55; richie7410; diceksox1809; AllJudasPriest: New England Patriots
maidenrulz19; Rockford_rocks: Detroit Lions
Don_Humpador; zYx Monster xYz: San Diego Chargers
thefuzz454: Dallas Cowboys
MusicMan24; Msu_Man04; trebe; Khenro: Green Bay Packers
TEK34: Atlanta Falcons
lbc_sublime; darklite41; CashCow; bklinger83; musiclover2399; RicoThe Beast: Chicago Bears
Somedude789; metallica #1; necrosis1193: Baltimore Ravens
daytripper75; TSmitty6: Seattle Seahawks
primusfan: Jacksonville Jaguars
Paroxysm; GoxGetterxGuy; bradulator; trainspotted11: Denver Broncos
lobster624; talia.; salrap10; genghisgandhi; Teh Traineez0rz: New York Giants
iro-bot31; Dreadnought: Miami Dolphins
wyldething; jambi_mantra: Minnesota Vikings
shadow__666: Oakland Raiders
Synyster915; zgr0826: Indianapolis Colts
Skynurd890: Carolina Panthers
system_cky: Arizona Cardinals
sloppyjoe24: Kansas City Chiefs
CoffeeBeans: Washington Redskins
TheZephyrSon; lucky1978: Cleveland Browns
bdof; Kensai: San Francisco 49ers
darkcheef: Cincinnati Bengals
crimsonblood12: New Orleans Saints


Im sure I missed some people in all that, let me know and I will update

and here is the old thread, which may contain info needed http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1275710

Welcome back football!


The greatest post in this thread (and many great ones after):
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackal58
So much this. I only hate the team the Steelers are currently playing.

Except for the Ravens. I always hate the Ravens. Oh and the Cowboys. Ya hate them too. And for a while I didn't hat Cleveland, but they didn't have a team, but now I hate them again. You can't hate Cincinnati, that's like hating a ****** in a wheel chair. Well ok. I hate ******s in wheel chairs. The Eagles and the Steelers were the same team during WWII so if I had been around at that time I wouldn't have hated the Eagles then. But I wasn't and they aren't the same team any more so I hate them now too. And any team that has "New" in their names. I hate them too. I hate teams on the west coast. They love coffee on the west coast not football. What a bunch of worthless wankers. And teams from Florida. Wtf is up with playing football in 80 degree weather in December. Bunch of pussies. I hate them too. Might as well include all the panzies that play inside too. What a bunch of sissy boys. I hate them too. And Kansas City. They're not even in Kansas. What's up with that? Losers. I hate geography losers. Tennessee doesn't rate an NFL team either. There are 3 people with teeth in Tennessee. I hate Tennessee. You can add Houston to Florida. Nobody would notice. Fuck Houston. Problem Houston? Denver should move to Honolulu. Until they do I'll hate them because they haven't. Other than that I don't hate anybody. Except maybe the Cardinals. Or the Bears. And the Fudge Packers.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackal58
They don't play football in Buffalo or Carolina.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Gibson_SG_uzr55
So you think that anyone here is intimidated because you're a woman who likes football and appears to be pretty knowledgeable, and accuse others of just trying to protect our manliness?

I've had enough. Jackal never insulted anyone's intelligence or played the "you're a woman and I am right" card, but you are being immature with your "LOL"s and your "YOU FAIL"s and your ""s, and the "you got pwnd by a woman, give up" attitude. I'm gonna respectfully ask you to tone down this foolishness or

of mah thread.

Thank you.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Death_switch
Gibson_SG_uzr55 - Policing the NFL thread since 2006

Quote:
Originally Posted by /PurpleWhalez/
Rex Ryan had a long summer. Between spewing headlines daily and hitting his mid-life crisis, Rex need a good regular season ****ing. "Let's get a win for our city out there boys." Rex said as the Jets filtered into the locker room preparing for the season opener. After meeting with the coaches and players, Rex excused himself. He walked toward the Cowboys locker room. Looking out toward the parking lot he saw the flag waving at half-mast. Inside his XXXXXXL pants, he too was at half-past, but not for long. "Does that make this mourning wood?" he chuckled to himself. Down the long hallway leading to the Dallas lockers, Rex saw him. The pretty boy of the NFL, and the most used ass. Tony Romo. Rex slinked behind a column. It did little to hide the walking mound that he was. He slid on the beard from the Jets Santa outfit and a Dallas sweater. "Psst. Hey Tony" he whispered. "Mr. Ryan!?" Tony exclaimed. "Shouldn't you be working with the defense?" Rex's ruse seemed to be working.

Rex extended his hand. "Oh Tony" he said in a falsetto voice "it's time you and me talk about filling some holes in your... game." "What?" Tony replied unsure of his coaches intentions. "Don't play coy with me." Rex said winking. Tony took his hand.

Rex led him to a side room used by the groundskeepers. Rex grabbed him into a rough kiss. "Coach your beard makes my nose itchy." Tony said sneezing. "Well then my pubic hairs going to **** you up something fierce." Rex said removing his pants. Tony now knew what was going on. "Here, lay down on this fertilizer." Rex said all sexy like. Tony lowered himself onto the shitbag, then wrapped his mouth around the anthropomorphic shitbag's dick

Rex's fat loins molded around Tony's face like some Cheeto flavored, sweaty, silly putty. "Tony, you may not know how to quarterback, but boy can you suck." Rex moaned. "Fwumbunga-jessicasimpson-nwumuga" Tony mumbled around Rex's meat pole. Suddenly the door opened behind them. It was Miles Austin. "What's going on in here." he said seductively.

Rex rearranged his faux beard. "We're just prepping for the game Miles." Rex said in his abnormally high pitched voice. Miles noticed his QB among the mounds of fat. "Well if Tony's involved, you got your tight end, so you need a wide receiver." he said burying his face into Tony's crotch. Tony's deep sucking was too much. Rex shot his baby glue down his throat. "Oh my god coach, it tastes like a convenience store floor." Tony gasped after swallowing it. "You are what you eat." Rex said laughing. "Now then. Let's run some laps." Tony looked on quizzically. "Coach?" Rex continued on. "A few miles should do." He said eying that sweet ebony ass. "Let's dance."

Rex laid down. "Alright fellas, in honor of this solemn occasion, we should try a move I invented. The World Laid Center." Tony and Miles looked at each other. "What's that?" they said together. "Well me and Tony will lay on our backs. Or dicks are the Twin Towers. You're the plane. You hover over, crouching, and "crash" into our dicks." Rex finished. Tony and Miles smiled broadly. They got into position.'

Tony and Rex got their towers erect and waited on Miles' piloting skills. Miles lowered himself onto their dicks in turn. After a few passes Tony began to squirm. "I think I'm getting ready to blow Miles." Tony gasped. He shot his tiny load into Miles. "I was half expecting actual dust." Rex laughed. Miles now focused on the small mountain that was Rex Ryan. Rex grabbed him by the haunches and forced himself deep, turning Austin into a literal wide receiver. "Coach the frictions getting a bit much." Miles yelled over the noise of his anal air collision. "Just roll with it." Rex yelled. After a few more pumps Rex shot his load far into the Cowboys star. As he watched his cum leak out he chuckled. "I guess that proves it was an inside job."

Fin~




HALL OF GUARANTEES

Quote:
Originally Posted by GoxGetterxGuy
Broncos vs Bengals AFC champ game next year. I'm calling it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gibson_SG_uzr55
DeSean Jackson leaves, Vincent Jackson joins. I'm fucking calling it and OPing this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Death_switch
I'm telling you the Chiefs will be good.

If they improve their O-Line in the draft and get some consistent QB play they will walk what is a really crappy AFC West.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gibson_SG_uzr55
RGIII will be better than Newton

Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicMan24
Hey Gibson motherfucker....Why isn't my 19-0 prediction in the HoF?

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Last edited by Gibson_SG_uzr55 : 03-01-2012 at 02:09 AM.
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Old 07-27-2011, 08:49 PM   #2
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Go Broncos!
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Old 07-27-2011, 08:51 PM   #3
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FiRsT pagE!1!1!1!1 w0000t

EDIT: Didn't notice that I was the only NFC South fan. I'll start hating on Detroit as a replacement Saints, then.
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Old 07-27-2011, 08:55 PM   #4
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Thine Behold one rollin?
Quote:
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Old 07-27-2011, 08:57 PM   #5
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I am really excited for the NFC North this year. Top to bottom it should be pretty good, although I am picking the Bears to finish last. The Lions will have a killer defense, but I still don't think Stafford (assuming he stays healthy) can lead their offense productively. I am picking my Vikings (I am one of the few people excited about the McNabb move) to finish 2nd to the Packers, with a possible Wild Card bid.

Can't wait.
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Old 07-27-2011, 08:59 PM   #6
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Sidney Rice now a Seahawk. I approve.
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Old 07-27-2011, 08:59 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TSmitty6
Sidney Rice now a Seahawk. I approve.



+100


Now they need a decent QB. Williams + Rice should be a good combo.
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Old 07-27-2011, 09:00 PM   #8
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McNabb is now a Viking.
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Old 07-27-2011, 09:01 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wyldething
I am really excited for the NFC North this year. Top to bottom it should be pretty good, although I am picking the Bears to finish last. The Lions will have a killer defense, but I still don't think Stafford (assuming he stays healthy) can lead their offense productively. I am picking my Vikings (I am one of the few people excited about the McNabb move) to finish 2nd to the Packers, with a possible Wild Card bid.

Can't wait.

Stafford showed when he was healthy he can play at a high level. And as a McNabb fan, I think this move is great for him and your team. They have the talent to support him that Washington didn't, and he provides much needed experience and a mentor to young Ponder.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beadhangingOne
What happened to Snake?

Snake?

Snake?

SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE?!


Quote:
Originally Posted by TunerAddict
you can take my mouse and keyboard from my cold, slightly orange from cheetos, dead fingers
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Old 07-27-2011, 09:01 PM   #10
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ill make another post similar to mine from last thread, and then never respond but momentarily lurk from time to time

Giants 2012!
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Old 07-27-2011, 09:01 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daytripper75
+100


Now they need a decent QB. Williams + Rice should be a good combo.


Kolb would be ideal for them
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Old 07-27-2011, 09:04 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lbc_sublime
Kolb would be ideal for them



You mean T-Jack isn't the perfect fit? Color me shocked!

I am so glad we got him out of MN. Rice, on the other hand...
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Old 07-27-2011, 09:05 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lbc_sublime
Kolb would be ideal for them



Eagles seem to want too much for Kolb. I'm not sold on him anyway.
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Old 07-27-2011, 09:05 PM   #14
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Woot new thread!! Go Lions.

It may be a good thing that McNabb is going to the Vikings now he has no one to throw to outside of Percy Harvin.
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Old 07-27-2011, 09:06 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TSmitty6
Sidney Rice now a Seahawk. I approve.

Good thing it's long term. Noone to throw to him in the meantime.

McNabb to Minny makes sense, although I'm not sure what the trade was.
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Old 07-27-2011, 09:11 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wyldething
I am really excited for the NFC North this year. Top to bottom it should be pretty good, although I am picking the Bears to finish last. The Lions will have a killer defense, but I still don't think Stafford (assuming he stays healthy) can lead their offense productively. I am picking my Vikings (I am one of the few people excited about the McNabb move) to finish 2nd to the Packers, with a possible Wild Card bid.

Can't wait.


I disagree with everything you said. The bears will go 16-0 sweep the division TWICE and beat every team by a margin of 100 points. They will then go into the playoffs hungover and drunk from non stop partying from having an undefeated season and still sail through the playoffs. They will then end the war in Iraq and rebuild Japan before super bowl week and then go on and completely destroy the opposing super team made up by the NFL to make the super bowl at least a little competitive.

That's EXACTLY how shits going down!



Quote:
Originally Posted by lbc_sublime
Kolb would be ideal for them


I think Marc Bulger would be better there with those two recievers. And he'll come cheap
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Quote:
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Quote:
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Lo, and the other lads be hating,
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attempting to catch me cycling in an unsavory fashion.




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Old 07-27-2011, 09:12 PM   #17
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First page mother ****er!!!!

Btw ravens sign torry smith.
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Old 07-27-2011, 09:14 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TEK34
McNabb to Minny makes sense, although I'm not sure what the trade was.



We got him for a 2012 6th Round pick and a conditional 2013 6th Round pick.

Darklite, I like the optimism. As a MN sports fan, I have suffered more than my fair share of disappointment (I mean, really Gary Anderson? You decide to miss your only FG of the season when you are supposed to jab the dagger into Atlanta in the NFC Championship?). I only wish I could have your optimism.
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Old 07-27-2011, 09:15 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wyldething

Darklite, I like the optimism. As a MN sports fan, I have suffered more than my fair share of disappointment (I mean, really Gary Anderson? You decide to miss your only FG of the season when you are supposed to jab the dagger into Atlanta in the NFC Championship?). I only wish I could have your optimism.


...a man can dream
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ddrocksv3_4xpk
Thine Behold one rollin?
Quote:
Originally Posted by _T_H_R_I_C_E_
Lo, and the other lads be hating,
gallyvanting around,
attempting to catch me cycling in an unsavory fashion.




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Old 07-27-2011, 09:19 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daytripper75
Eagles seem to want too much for Kolb. I'm not sold on him anyway.


i agree i don't think he's the best and i'm not sold on him but i think he could take them past .500 for the season for sure.
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