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Old 09-25-2012, 03:45 AM   #1
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anti-vamp gear.

Nora and Tara show up and tell Sookie they need to get Bill on anti-vamp gear.

Russell, as always, wanted to kick things up a notch by harvesting fairies, so he split, along with the newly vampiric (and newly out) Steve Newlin, to seek out Sookie and her fairy brethren. Sons of Anarchy Season 5 Episode 3 Despite his doubts, Bill cast his lot with the Sanguinistas, but the vampire goddess Lilith (who may or may not be a group hallucination) is causing problems by telling Bill and Salome that they are each the chosen one. Sons of Anarchy Season 5 Episode 3 Nora came to her senses and fled the Authority with Eric.
Meanwhile, Alcide and his semi-estranged 2 Broke Girls Season 2 Episode 1 lone wolf father were last spotted fighting off bands of newbie vamps. Sam, Luna, Sookie, Andy and Jason tracked down and took down a cell of supe-hating vigilantes (former sheriff Bud Dearborn turned out to be one of them). But Luna’s daughter Emma got kidnapped by Russell, so the shifters have snuck into Authority headquarters to steal her back. Sookie convinced Pam to turn a mortally-wounded Tarainto a vampire, and this new vamp duo went all “Thelma & Louise” on the new Area 5 Hawaii Five 0 Season 3 Episode 1 Sheriff Elijah, although Pam took the fall when Elijah’s maker Sons of Anarchy Season 5 Episode 3 came nosing around. And remember Andy having sex with a fairy at the end of season four? Well, he apparently knocked her up, which might be a problem for his blossoming romance with Holly. And Terry was being chased by an evil fire monster who … NCIS Season 10 Episode 1 well, that turned out to matter not one whit.
So: Russell, having draining one brave but stupid fairy, is now able to see into Cirque du So Fae. Sookie and her fellow fairies are using their hand-blasters to try to repel him, but it’s not working. Russell is slowly but surely making his way toward them when Eric turns up out of nowhere and stakes him. And that, my friends, is the end of Russell Edgington. Eric: NCIS Los Angeles Season 4 Episode 1 “That felt even better than I thought it would.”
Sookie runs out to help Jason, who had been accidentally knocked across the clearing by some errant fairy hands. Nora gets a whiff of fae, but Eric restrains her and makes her promise to leave Sookie Sons of Anarchy Season 5 Episode 3. Jason comes to, but sees his mother instead of Sookie.

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Old 09-25-2012, 06:09 AM   #2
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Bill and margaret open up their wardrobe; their chest piece; in it lays a number of racoons in light hibernation. they awake languidly rubbing their eyes with their eerie little black hands. bill and margaret brush them away, off the shelves so they can reach their shirts. bill chooses a rather bright one, blue with a hint of green and smaller white stripes. he always says it gives him the power of channeling sexual energy into his stock reports. margaret chooses a red blouse with pictures of potatoes on it. she has always loved potatoes.
While bill and margaret put on their shirts, the racoons are plotting. when bill and margaret turn around the big one lunges at margaret's face. she screams in a pitch sweeping from high to low. it takes bill a while to process what has happened. when he realizes, he reaches for the head coon, but his movements are inexplicably awkward; he thinks he may be developing an ailment like parkinson's disease.
Just then the TV set turns on by itself. it's the food network (or is it called "the cooking channel" now?) and they are talking about growing radishes. they're tubers; not too much water, or they'll have a foamy taste/appearance that fosters tuberculosis. bill finds radishes enchanting and sort of forgets about margaret's troubles (she turns out ok, with no permanent facial deformities, but she never returns to the state of not-having-tasted-racoon-genitals).
Meanwhile the rest of the racoons are making off with the contents of bill and margaret's jewelry drawer. the rest of the series consists of bill and margaret trying to retrieve their jewels.
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Old 09-25-2012, 05:49 PM   #3
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Hey. I am watching Sons of Anarchy right now!
you're a stone fox
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Old 10-01-2012, 08:30 AM   #4
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I'd like to see a TV spinoff of Kettlemouse.
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Old 10-02-2012, 04:40 PM   #5
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Henry Rollins is in Sons of Anarchy, so this thread is relevant.
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