JCAshworth247

I deleted my last post of this song called "BTBAM Influenced" because it sounded too familiar, now I've greatly revised that song into a 12 minute song with various influences and a lot of my own style.

C4C? (give me a link to crit or else I probably wont crit anything)

Attached Files

BTBAM edit 3.zip (48.0 KB, 134 views)

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My Songs:

Progressive Song [NEW]

The God Gene

Abjection

Complicity of Woe

Delusion and Ignorance

Mean Mr Mustard

- Intro had a lot of melody, that was good.
- The lead that starts at bar 55 I thought was rather bland, it didn't sound very good to me.
- That blast beat at 83 didn't sound good with a splash haha, just use an open hi-hat.
- Section -4 was nice, liked the clean melody.
- Chord progression at bar 150 was pretty cool with the lead.
- First interlude is probably where the song could've ended. You could split it up into different tracks I guess though. The clean with the delay with sweet, and the drums were okay.
- Section 1 that came after the interlude was pretty crazy epic sounding
- Sections 40 and 41 were both really cool because of the clean guitar underneath the distorted rhythms
- Section 38 (bar 298) was awesome, probably my favorite part of the song so far.
- Around bar 338 it started to get stale. At this point you should either go into a distorted guitar part, or go into a clean part without the drums. Kinda like what you do at bar 354.
- Around that section at bar 414, its pretty crazy and awesome sounding, but those snare rolls on the drums may be impossible, Im not sure.
- Bar 421 is another space where the song should end haha. Maybe you can split it into 3 tracks and have this as a segue? Section has a sweet ass intro, and would make a great intro to a track.
- Around 467, with that fade-out, its amazing. Sounds sweet. But again...that section is a little random, but it could work well as its own track as a short little 1 minute interlude between songs. I feel like splitting this up into 3 tracks where I mentioned would be the best way to go here, it just sounds better that way in my head.

Overall, major improvement from the last version of this song. Liked the new stuff and revisions of the old stuff. I will say that the second half of the song is way better than the first half though. Some very impressive stuff, like that outro section and that first interlude. Nice job. I know you probably hate pop-punk, but if you want to tell me what you think of any of the songs in my sig, it'd be appurciated.

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Demos EP

JCAshworth247

That was quick, thanks
Splitting up the song = genius
yeah the first break you mentioned sounded too much like an outro for me too, I have a problem with keeping the flow of a long song without going back and forth between soft and heavy.
I'll look at your pop-punk stuff, any particular one you want me to look at?

Mean Mr Mustard

Yeah, but there's nothing wrong with splitting it up and having a pt. I, pt. II, pt. III, or just just different tracks that segue together, Im always a fan of that. You can look at whichever you want haha, depends on if you want happy or sad sounding stuff, but I labeled them accordingly.

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Demos EP