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Old 09-21-2011, 06:50 AM   #1
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Simple poem dedicated to my girlfriend

If the world ended today
There is only one place I'd want to be
By your side one last time

I'd just sit back and gaze into those hazel eyes
As the sky turned darker than the wool of the blackest sheep
And the oceans and the forest collided into one
Leaving behind nothing but our spark

We'd disappear together into that endless night
Together, just you and I

It's a little dark. I wanted to give this to her, but.... I'm not sure. It's short and simple, but it could imply that I wanted to make some kind of crazy suicide pact with her.
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Old 09-21-2011, 07:18 AM   #2
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I think it's sweet. Just make sure she knows you're not depressed or anything

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Old 09-21-2011, 07:19 AM   #3
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i liked it dude. the only thing that kind of broke up the flow of the poem was 'wool of the blackest sheep'. try find a shorter analogy; the poem will flow better.

and yeah sounds suicide-pact-alicious.

nah it's pretty sweet.
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Old 09-21-2011, 12:36 PM   #4
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you got balls to sing this to her? let me tell you, when i did that my friend plays and i let her sing this and play this to herself! little hint
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Old 09-21-2011, 09:58 PM   #5
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Pure cheesiness, but girls like that
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