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Old 10-26-2011, 01:38 AM   #81
seeneyj
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Originally Posted by Green_Ghoul
anyone care to pm me? i'm too embarrassed to post my situation at the moment. :'(


Go on buddy
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Old 10-26-2011, 01:49 AM   #82
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Originally Posted by chaoticfables
Can you be indirectly friend-zoned? Like, implied over a period of time rather than a straight flat-out 'let's just be friends'?


Definitely. More often than not, that's how they work.
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Old 10-26-2011, 01:52 AM   #83
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Wow, okay WARNING: BIG WHINY POST COMING!

Alright, if you're feeling brave, this is my old post from 1 week ago:

Alright, for the past 3-4 days this has been driving me NUTS, I can NOT decide if I should ask a girl out (who is currently a friend, so I don't want to make things awkward between us), or not. Anyways, this is going to be a LONG-ASS post pretty much giving you the entire situation, but I need to know asking is the right thing:

I've known her and talked to her occasionally for about a year, but I only really started to get to know her around the start of the school year. So anyways, our first "big" interaction was spending a Saturday together with 3 other friends (Now, this is kind of important: 2 of these friends are dating right now, but the third she's known longer than me, but HAS been interested in him before, but nothing ever came of it because they were too 'awkward' together. Still, I can't help but shake that she might be interested in HIM).

ANYWAYS, by the day, I mean the whole ****ing day, we went out to breakfast at 8 drove around, hung out at her house, and saw a movie at 11. I should mention, for a healthy chunk of the day, the 2nd guy (who she was sort of interested in) wasn't there (He was meeting another girl), so it was just our two friends who were dating, and me and her. Though we got along real well and everything, and I suppose you could say we flirted a little, it didn't really strike me as "She's totally into you dude".

ANYWAYS, flash forward to next Friday, and I'm at her friend's house (different friend), and this time the 2nd guy isn't there. She seems a LOT more flirty, we joked for most of the night, and when we went to pick up a movie we rode in the front seat together (however, we DO have the excuse that there wasn't any room in the car, but still, I figured it had to be worth something..)

Next day, is Homecoming day, we meet at a friend's house before the dance, and we joke around etc., but it seems like she's flirting a little more with the 2nd guy again..
Later, we get to the dance, first 3-4 songs our group just kinda danced together (in a group I mean), but the first slow-dance comes on after, and a kid she HATES starts to dance with her. So I see the importunity to man-up, and walk over and cut-in and finish the dance with her. She doesn't seem to mind at all, and she seemed to like it. Now, the rest of the night, I probably grinded 5-6 other chicks, but she didn't seem to dance with too many guys (for the record, the second guy was already dancing with the same girl from last week) and a couple times she came up to ME and without saying anything started grinding me.

We do one more slow dance at the end of the night and she seemed like she really enjoyed it and then we get going back to the car to go to her house to stay the night (a group of people), now the 2nd guy is with us, but she doesn't say almost anything to him, she pretty much shout's "I'm riding with (my name)" and we ride back in the same seat together. We get to her house and she's just sending some flirty signals. About 40 minutes later though, my mom says I need to leave (she PISSED I'm staying at a girls house without telling her). The girl seems REALLY upset about it, she's like "Come on, you've got to try EVERYTHING to let you stay here". 20 minutes of arguing with my mother, and I walk back in; she's runs up to me and jumps in my arms, almost crying.

We head back downstairs and get ready to watch a couple scary movies together (keep in mind, this is still in a group, however the 2nd guy was there right up until the movies started and she didn't say a single word to him). We're figuring out where we're gonna sit and she say's "I'm sitting with you, where do you wanna sit? We're gonna sit together, okay?" And I'm like, cool, cool... So we bust out some blankets and lay next to each other on the ground and watch the first movie next to each other (everyone else is sitting on a couch). Although we're next to each other, my it wasn't exactly like we were snuggled up to each other, though whenever we did touch, she didn't seem threatened or whatever..

Second movie though, she's a lot more responsive, our feet touch a little and for the last 30 minutes of the movie, she's actually laying on my chest with my arm around her. After that though, we were pretty much ready to go to sleep, so we just put on a third movie for the hell of it, but everyone is on the ground with blankets now, HOWEVER, she actually switched sides of where she was sitting next to me, so that she was only next to me, not the rest of the group. The rest of the time everyone was in and out of sleep, but just laying there. For pretty much the rest of the night though, she was snuggled up right next to me, laying against my chest.

We wake up around 10, both the guys had to leave before then, but I was going straight to work from there, so I said it was fine I stayed a little later. So it's just me and her and her two friends (girls). When it's time for me to leave she makes a conscience effort to come over and give me a hug.

ANYWAYS, the next day my friend was almost blown away that I didn't ask her out, but I said there really wasn't a right time. (Which, when you think about it, is kind of true). Anyways, since then it just doesn't seem like she's anywhere CLOSE to as flirty as she was, I don't know if she thinks I'm not interested, but pretty much the situation now is:

1. The 2nd guy is single again, and he knows I'm probably going to ask her. (Which kind of worries me for obvious reasons)
2. I let her know I'd be telling her something pretty serious Thursday morning when we get smoothies before school.
3. We were planning on going to a haunted house Saturday (with the our 2 dating friends, my best friend, and the 2nd guy) so it would be GREAT if we were going out then, but it'd pretty much ruin our friendship and be awkward if I went if I'm wrong and I ask her.


Anyways, that's that. I guess, if you managed to read all of that you are an incredible person, and I'd be very interested to hear your opinion of what I should do...



NOW: Since then, I haven't asked her out (mostly because I'm too much of a pussy), but it seems very strange between us *Only in person though*. By that, I mean, all day at school she pretty much seems interested in every other guy in the group except me. I mean literally, unless I make a conscience effort to include her in a conversation, she just sort of ignores.

HOWEVER, since last Monday she regularly messages me on Facebook every night without fail, and we end up chatting for at least an hour. I also made sure that SHE'S the one always initiating the conversation and I'm the one who wraps up the conversation.

So I guess my question is, the ****'s up with that? All day she's all flirty with my friends, and then she get's home and has no problem talking to me for two hours?

EDIT: Oh, and we are hanging out in a group this Saturday to go ice-skating (I figured this would be pretty good since she's not very good and she knows I used to play hockey, so I could probably help her . But if she's acting all weird then too, it'll just be awkward so...)
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Last edited by Epicbizzjizz : 10-26-2011 at 01:56 AM.
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Old 10-26-2011, 01:58 AM   #84
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^ Dude, don't 'ask' her out. It'll be weird. Just keep escalating physical touching and eventually it will blossom into a relationship.

She's flirting with your friend because she's trying to make you jealous and get you to make a move.

And why the freaking hell haven't you kissed her yet? It's borderline going stale. You'd better make a move quick. Otherwise you'll get friend-zoned. Just man up and do it.

Btw, at school, are you intiating conversation with her or just waiting for to talk to you? If you are, that's why.
Anything else?
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Old 10-26-2011, 01:58 AM   #85
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Originally Posted by MiserySignals11
It takes a very long time. I think your best bet is to instantly find a replacement to get your mind off her. I'm sure the new girl will relate.


*New boy

That sounds like a good option and I definitely would like to find a new interest, I'm just afraid I won't find anyone that measures up to him.
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Old 10-26-2011, 02:01 AM   #86
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seeneyj
^ Dude, don't 'ask' her out. It'll be weird. Just keep escalating physical touching and eventually it will blossom into a relationship.

She's flirting with your friend because she's trying to make you jealous and get you to make a move.

And why the freaking hell haven't you kissed her yet? It's borderline going stale. You'd better make a move quick. Otherwise you'll get friend-zoned. Just man up and do it.

Btw, at school, are you intiating conversation with her or just waiting for to talk to you? If you are, that's why.
Anything else?


Yeah, I know I've been waiting a while to pull the trigger here but, "escalating physical touching" isn't exactly something I'm good at. And DEFINITELY not something I could easily attempt at school, around our friends.

And yeah, I'm initiating the conversation, but even then, I pretty much have to keep it going or she'll just lose interest...
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Old 10-26-2011, 02:05 AM   #87
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seeneyj
^ Dude, don't 'ask' her out. It'll be weird.


it might seem weird, but with asian girls, or at least the ones i talk to, they all think "will you be my girlfriend?" or "will you go out with me?" is a good standard. Like a difference between "seeing each other" and actually "dating" i guess
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Old 10-26-2011, 02:07 AM   #88
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Originally Posted by piratemetalhead
it might seem weird, but with asian girls, or at least the ones i talk to, they all think "will you be my girlfriend?" or "will you go out with me?" is a good standard. Like a difference between "seeing each other" and actually "dating" i guess

I'm an Asian male and I can confirm this.
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Old 10-26-2011, 02:07 AM   #89
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Okay Epicbizzjizz...

it sounds to me like she wanted to know she could have you more than she actually wanted you. I don't think she's into the other guy based on what you've said, but you're obsessing about him more than is healthy. You almost mentioned him more than her.

The bit where you mention being called home and her wanting you to stay worried me especially. The girl was trying to see what sort of influence she had on you and it seems she was able to get her way.

When she put her head on her chest, when she messages you for a couple of hours a night...it all sounds a bit friendzoney to me.

I don't think this one is going anywhere. But I've been wrong before.
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Old 10-26-2011, 02:16 AM   #90
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Epicbizzjizz
Yeah, I know I've been waiting a while to pull the trigger here but, "escalating physical touching" isn't exactly something I'm good at. And DEFINITELY not something I could easily attempt at school, around our friends.

And yeah, I'm initiating the conversation, but even then, I pretty much have to keep it going or she'll just lose interest...


Ok, Demonstrate higher social value by telling interesting stories and that you are the leader of men and pre-selected by women. Those are the two basic elements that will spark her attraction.

Then, get her to qualify herself to you and you can start to like her back. You may have to take a step back to go forward. If you can show that you are the leader of your group and other women are interested in you, you will spark her attraction.

You'll need to get good at physical escalation, or you will get stuck in the friend zone I'm afraid.
At school, it's little things. Touch her arm when you wanna talk to her, grab her hand, put your hand on knee, and gradually make them more sexual (not super being at school obviously)
Little things man.

Next thing if you sort of stops you, you need to show that you don't care and indicate for dis-intest for a minute or two, but don't be stroppy about it, just turned off. And then do it again or ask her to do it to you.
Anything else?
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Old 10-26-2011, 02:18 AM   #91
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Originally Posted by chaoticfables
I'm an Asian male and I can confirm this.


asian girls (at least the more asian asian girls lol) seem to like lovey dovey and romantics more, maybe because of all the pop stars and dramas...
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Old 10-26-2011, 02:19 AM   #92
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Originally Posted by seeneyj
Ok, Demonstrate higher social value by telling interesting stories and that you are the leader of men and pre-selected by women. Those are the two basic elements that will spark her attraction.

Then, get her to qualify herself to you and you can start to like her back. You may have to take a step back to go forward. If you can show that you are the leader of your group and other women are interested in you, you will spark her attraction.

You'll need to get good at physical escalation, or you will get stuck in the friend zone I'm afraid.
At school, it's little things. Touch her arm when you wanna talk to her, grab her hand, put your hand on knee, and gradually make them more sexual (not super being at school obviously)
Little things man.

Next thing if you sort of stops you, you need to show that you don't care and indicate for dis-intest for a minute or two, but don't be stroppy about it, just turned off. And then do it again or ask her to do it to you.
Anything else?


Haha, basically "be cool"?

I know what you mean though, and I'll give it a shot. I'm thinking I'll know by Saturday whether or not this thing's going anywhere...
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Old 10-26-2011, 02:27 AM   #93
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Originally Posted by Epicbizzjizz
Haha, basically "be cool"?

I know what you mean though, and I'll give it a shot. I'm thinking I'll know by Saturday whether or not this thing's going anywhere...


Yeah, without being try-hard cool. Be natural and alpha.

If you don't think it's going anywhere, cut you losses and get another lady. The ironic thing is she will come back to you when you have girls hanging off your arms. It's hard-wired in their head.
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Old 10-26-2011, 02:32 AM   #94
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Originally Posted by seeneyj
Yeah, without being try-hard cool. Be natural and alpha.

If you don't think it's going anywhere, cut you losses and get another lady. The ironic thing is she will come back to you when you have girls hanging off your arms. It's hard-wired in their head.


Yeah, I get that. I'll probably still stay friends with her. As pussy as it sounds, I do actually like her as a friend as well.
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Old 10-26-2011, 02:50 AM   #95
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Yeah, I get that. I'll probably still stay friends with her. As pussy as it sounds, I do actually like her as a friend as well.


Nothing pussy about that That's what would make a great relationship.
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Old 10-26-2011, 03:06 AM   #96
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Man it's been a while but here goes

So last year after getting put in my place by a girl that I didn't have the balls to make a proper move on (still messing around with said girl but that's a whole other story), I was given a book called "The Game" by a close friend of mine. It honestly changed my life. After that and researching other "Pick up" material my success with girls got on another level but was by no means perfect. I still run into problems today and I'm here to get some input on a girl.

We went to a concert the first time we "hung out". Afterwards before I dropped her off I gave her a kiss that turned into a short make-out. Two weeks later we hung out again, went to kiss her and she rejected saying "I really like you but I can't and I can't tell you why". I just laughed it off and we ended up cuddling for a while and having some great conversation. Fast forward to another weekend and she says she wants to hang out so we drive downtown and go to some shops,grab some food etc.. Things seem to be going ok so I try to hold her hand and she rejects again. Soon after she is already making plans for us to hang out again.

I don't understand the resistance I mean if she had friend zoned me she would have let me know. I was thinking that maybe she was still very attached to an ex or something but according to a close mutual friend she hated her ex and broke up with him. Any thoughts? I'm thinking that asking her directly would sound kind of needy, either way I'll try once more and if she still rejects then I will give her the "Let's just be friends" line.
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Old 10-26-2011, 03:41 AM   #97
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^ That's a tough situation there, bud. Maybe her ex hurt her or treated her in ways she wasn't fond of, so she's not ready to enter another relationship and potentially get hurt again? If she can't tell you why she can't be with you in that way, there's probably a deeper underlying problem. I don't think it's you, though. As you said, try one more time. If she rejects, it's probably not meant to be. However, I personally don't see the harm in asking if you're really interested. I don't know this girl, though, so that's your call.


Well guys, on to my problems. I still have my long distance relationship going, and I recently got into a disagreement with my father about it. I called and told my girlfriend about it, but told her she had nothing to worry about and that I was happy with her. She had to go to class shortly after, but she just told me to consider what my parents were saying and said goodbye.

We didn't talk for the rest of the day until a few hours ago, when I texted her just to see if she was up and wanted to talk.. She told me she wasn't going to have a conversation about our relationship over text, and that we could talk tomorrow. I asked if she was angry with me, and she said she's not getting into it right now, and that she's trying to sleep and I'm interrupting her. Now, that's not her. She's normally very sweet but tonight she came across as a total bitch.

Any idea what I did wrong, guys? I know it's not much detail. Trust me, I'm trying to figure it out myself, that's why I'm up so late.

By the way, love the new thread.
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Old 10-26-2011, 03:48 AM   #98
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightrain57
Man it's been a while but here goes

So last year after getting put in my place by a girl that I didn't have the balls to make a proper move on (still messing around with said girl but that's a whole other story), I was given a book called "The Game" by a close friend of mine. It honestly changed my life. After that and researching other "Pick up" material my success with girls got on another level but was by no means perfect. I still run into problems today and I'm here to get some input on a girl.

We went to a concert the first time we "hung out". Afterwards before I dropped her off I gave her a kiss that turned into a short make-out. Two weeks later we hung out again, went to kiss her and she rejected saying "I really like you but I can't and I can't tell you why". I just laughed it off and we ended up cuddling for a while and having some great conversation. Fast forward to another weekend and she says she wants to hang out so we drive downtown and go to some shops,grab some food etc.. Things seem to be going ok so I try to hold her hand and she rejects again. Soon after she is already making plans for us to hang out again.

I don't understand the resistance I mean if she had friend zoned me she would have let me know. I was thinking that maybe she was still very attached to an ex or something but according to a close mutual friend she hated her ex and broke up with him. Any thoughts? I'm thinking that asking her directly would sound kind of needy, either way I'll try once more and if she still rejects then I will give her the "Let's just be friends" line.


That's a great book.
Yeah hit her with the 'let's be friends' line. Try triggering her attraction more by demonstrating a higher value.
Make her tell you why. She is probably in a relationship and doesn't want to cheat, but doesn't want to turn you off so she can go with you after she breaks up with the other guy.
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Old 10-26-2011, 03:55 AM   #99
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I'm a little wary of posting in here again, or if this question is appropriate here, but... http://51.vc/jZ
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Old 10-26-2011, 03:57 AM   #100
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So i have known this girl for about 2 years now and i used to hang out with her a bit in the first year but then we kind of lost contact during the second year. But now i have classes with her and so I to talk to her more again. In class we always flirt and joke around and she leans and lies her head on me. Even though she is very open i do not see her do that with other guys, so I am not sure how serious I should take it. Some friends, her and me also started hanging out after school together, so I also get to flirt/joke with her outside of school but not so much as there our friends around. Last night though I grabbed some beers with her and it was only us two. We were at the same bar for about 4 hours and we always talked and the conversation never went boring or awkward. So I was having a really good time and I think she did as well. At the end of that evening I walked her to the closest metro station since it was dark but also on my way home. She grabbed onto my arm several times and when we said good bye she really wanted me to go to an art exhibition or some weird ass DJ concert too. She knows I do not really like art or that kind of music but she said I really have to come.
So yeah this is my situation, I am not really sure where I am at with her and I am not sure if or how I should ask her out?
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