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Old 02-13-2013, 12:32 AM   #14961
20Tigers
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used to go out 2-3 nights a week looking to pick up. That lasted about 8 months to a year. Then I eased off and stopped focusing on women and just worried about myself.

These days I am much more laid back and let life happen, still focused on making constant improvements in my life. My attitude now is to build my life and she will come. :p

If I see a girl that catches my eye I make a move to open a conversation as soon as I see her. This became habit because if I left it for any length of time I would psych myself out (or I would wait too long and the opportunity was lost). Now it's just habit. I try to get a date, or a number at least, from the initial conversation.

When I ask a girl out like that, it is solely to get to know her better.

...Actually....thinking about it a bit more... it depends on the situation.

I was just thinking of some times where I see the girl in a specific place (subway girl). l flirt a little more in those cases and fun with it. I use those repetitive encounters as a chance to get to know the girl. As soon as I think, "I really like this girl." I ask her out.

I have become very picky when it comes to girls. I promised myself I would never settle into a serious relationship for anything less than my perfect girl. So many girls don't make it past the first date. Some that do might last a few weeks but it doesn't often last long until I lose interest. -Don't get me wrong there are some really great girls that are a lot of fun to hang out with (and stuff) - but they just aren't what I am looking for.

It's almost as though the majority of girls out there are just "variations on a theme". I was about ready to give up hope, until about two weeks ago when my eyes were opened to what a girl could be...

Looking forward to the future.

[edit]so as far as how long before I ask a girl out - straight away as soon as i know I want to go on a date with her I ask her out.

If i get a chance to get to know them without a date I take that opportunity but as soon as i decide they are interesting and that I would like to go out with them to get to know them one on one then I ask them on a date straight away.

I don't dwell on a girl, I don't take time to psych myself out, I don't wait to "make sure I get a yes".

I get turned down too by the way, plenty. I do ok but I'm not batting 1000. But that really doesn't bother me at all. I just laugh it off and keep flirting after they turn me down and ask them again and again. Some get worn down by my (charm and) persistence :p

Also I find that when I ask a girl out it is sometimes quite a nerve racking thing for them to say no. The girls are sometimes worried about hurting your feelings or how you might react to rejection. Sometimes when they see that it doesn't faze me and how I diffuse their awkwardness of the situation with humour and a good attitude it's not what they expect and might even have second thoughts about turning me down in the first place.

With other's when time is short. It's a no and I smile and tell them it's their loss, thank them for their time and walk away - never to see them again.

Some girls though, don't know how to handle the awkwardness of turning a guy down and are bitchy about it or are just plain bitchy and turn you down hard. Those one's used to get to me, they are kind of crushing to experience.

Eventually I realized I needed to look at those rejections from a different point of view. I was lucky because they showed their true "bitchy" colours to me straight away and saved me from spending any unnecessary time with a bitch. I began to feel sorry for the guys they said "yes" to because those guys wouldn't find out until they were more emotionally invested how much of a bitch the girl really is. So now i take those rejections pretty well too. It's like "whew, she was a bit of a bitch I'm so glad i didn't have to waste my time to find that out." (I'm not an asshole though so I am never rude back. It's not my style.)
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Old 02-13-2013, 02:42 AM   #14962
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Originally Posted by macashmack
No i like them to swallow fish and stuff alive. And most aren't down with that

Ok


Whoaaa dude that's on a different level! Like small fish or are you wanting them to shove like a perch or catfish down their throats? Im sorry for asking but man i have to know this. I've never heard of something like that before.

...although the guy in me is like "wtf that's jokes" the psychologist in me is wanting to go a bit deeper. What is it you like about seeing that? The act of swallowing something ridiculous, or the sheer degradation of swallowing a live sea creature for the pleasure of a man? Idk where the origin of that comes from. Did you have an event in your childhood involving fish or something?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowfrizbee
What does a girl have to do to get it in the butt thats all I ever wanted from you. Why, Ace? Why? I clean my asshole every night hoping and wishing and it never happens.
Bitches be Crazy.
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Old 02-13-2013, 02:47 AM   #14963
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Originally Posted by StopReadingThis
So, I'm mainly asking the posters on this thread who are a bit more succesful with women, but anyone can answer:

How active are you in pursuing wimenz?

Not to be confused with chasing after a girl, like you have nothing better to do, but how much energy do you put towards meeting girls and getting dates n' stuff on a scale of "IDGAF" to "going out everynight specifically to pick up chicks"?

I imagine most of you go with the "let things happen" mantra, but I'm sure there's some point where you have actively decide something like asking someone on a date.


I dunno. Me personally, i'll never chase, but if im talking to a girl and the intrigue is mutual, then yeah i'll see what's there. I dont think ive ever had one of those moments where you see a girl and love at first sight and all that. I really have to get to know a girl before i can decide even whether or not i wanna pursue anything. And believe me, it's not like i pull a ton of girls or anything (although id imagine if the point to which i cared about girls and such was limited to sex then i probably could/would). I enjoy getting to know people, and finding a girl that you can get to know and then eventually fall in love with is always exciting. But ill never chase.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowfrizbee
What does a girl have to do to get it in the butt thats all I ever wanted from you. Why, Ace? Why? I clean my asshole every night hoping and wishing and it never happens.
Bitches be Crazy.
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Old 02-13-2013, 09:16 AM   #14964
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 20Tigers
used to go out 2-3 nights a week looking to pick up. That lasted about 8 months to a year. Then I eased off and stopped focusing on women and just worried about myself.

These days I am much more laid back and let life happen, still focused on making constant improvements in my life. My attitude now is to build my life and she will come. :p

If I see a girl that catches my eye I make a move to open a conversation as soon as I see her. This became habit because if I left it for any length of time I would psych myself out (or I would wait too long and the opportunity was lost). Now it's just habit. I try to get a date, or a number at least, from the initial conversation.

When I ask a girl out like that, it is solely to get to know her better.

...Actually....thinking about it a bit more... it depends on the situation.

I was just thinking of some times where I see the girl in a specific place (subway girl). l flirt a little more in those cases and fun with it. I use those repetitive encounters as a chance to get to know the girl. As soon as I think, "I really like this girl." I ask her out.

I have become very picky when it comes to girls. I promised myself I would never settle into a serious relationship for anything less than my perfect girl. So many girls don't make it past the first date. Some that do might last a few weeks but it doesn't often last long until I lose interest. -Don't get me wrong there are some really great girls that are a lot of fun to hang out with (and stuff) - but they just aren't what I am looking for.

It's almost as though the majority of girls out there are just "variations on a theme". I was about ready to give up hope, until about two weeks ago when my eyes were opened to what a girl could be...

Looking forward to the future.

[edit]so as far as how long before I ask a girl out - straight away as soon as i know I want to go on a date with her I ask her out.

If i get a chance to get to know them without a date I take that opportunity but as soon as i decide they are interesting and that I would like to go out with them to get to know them one on one then I ask them on a date straight away.

I don't dwell on a girl, I don't take time to psych myself out, I don't wait to "make sure I get a yes".

I get turned down too by the way, plenty. I do ok but I'm not batting 1000. But that really doesn't bother me at all. I just laugh it off and keep flirting after they turn me down and ask them again and again. Some get worn down by my (charm and) persistence :p

Also I find that when I ask a girl out it is sometimes quite a nerve racking thing for them to say no. The girls are sometimes worried about hurting your feelings or how you might react to rejection. Sometimes when they see that it doesn't faze me and how I diffuse their awkwardness of the situation with humour and a good attitude it's not what they expect and might even have second thoughts about turning me down in the first place.

With other's when time is short. It's a no and I smile and tell them it's their loss, thank them for their time and walk away - never to see them again.

Some girls though, don't know how to handle the awkwardness of turning a guy down and are bitchy about it or are just plain bitchy and turn you down hard. Those one's used to get to me, they are kind of crushing to experience.

Eventually I realized I needed to look at those rejections from a different point of view. I was lucky because they showed their true "bitchy" colours to me straight away and saved me from spending any unnecessary time with a bitch. I began to feel sorry for the guys they said "yes" to because those guys wouldn't find out until they were more emotionally invested how much of a bitch the girl really is. So now i take those rejections pretty well too. It's like "whew, she was a bit of a bitch I'm so glad i didn't have to waste my time to find that out." (I'm not an asshole though so I am never rude back. It's not my style.)


You're a boss bro. I'm looking to get to the stage where as soon as I see a girl I like the look of I just approach with no hesitation. I do pretty well with this at night-time but daytime I'm not quite there yet.

All comes down to practice.

Personally I go out at least one night a week to pick up. I'd love to do it more often, but my wingman is not always available and motivating myself to go out alone isn't the easiest thing. Being out alone is actually okay when you're out...the hardest part is just getting your ass out the door.
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Old 02-13-2013, 09:33 AM   #14965
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I don't really try, I'm just super friendly with everyone. That said, I have a huge beard and most chicks don't seem to be down for that. Last semester I did actually ask one girl out and she said yes though, but I haven't tried asking any other girls out as of yet. I go to university and there's tons of girls here but it's rare for me to see one that stands out amidst the sea of North Face jackets, leggings, and Ugg boots.
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Old 02-13-2013, 09:58 PM   #14966
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Wait for him to calm down i guess. I don't know what he did to her during the relationship, but it seems that whilst the stuff he did after all this happened was bad, it just sounds like a bad reaction to a bad situation. Wait for the guilty and bitter feelings to pass, then maybe see how things look at that point.

Guys, i have a bit of a problem, i messaged Colohue about it a few weeks ago, and it was looking good at that point, but things have gotten a little weird. About a month ago, i hooked up with a girl i had been friends with for a little while. Things were always a bit kind of flirty before then, and i had made a pass at her before but she kind of politely brushed it off. One night we got drunk and one thing led to another and i ended up at her place, and we were making out most of the night. The next day, things weren't awkward at all, in fact it was kind of nice, and i kind of wanted to kiss her again, but i didn't.

Anyway, since then, she has phoned or texted (lately it's been mostly phone calls) me every single day, and we see each other nearly every week if i am around town (i live about an hour away from her), and i was thinking that it was looking pretty good, but now it seems like one minute, she is really affectionate towards me, then she doesn't want to know. In terms of pushing things forward, i have attempted to drop hints, but either they were too subtle, or she is ignoring them. The whole phoning thing might have caused things to grow stagnant, i don't really know. Either way, i would kind of like to know where i stand, and i have a few ideas:

A-I think i'm going to pull back a little in terms of contact. Even though i said earlier that she always calls me, i do call her too, it's a two way street, but i think seeing as the hints i've been dropping haven't been picked up, i'm going to drop back and see if it changes anything. I'm not going to be rude to her, obviously, if she calls, i'll answer and have a chat.

B-If it gets too much, i might just talk to her about what happened just to get an idea on where i stand, so that i can either get over it or go out with her. It will make things a little awkward but at least i won't be wondering.

C-If i find the right moment i might just go in for a kiss and see how she responds.

The second and third options are kind of a last resort, hopefully just pulling back will help. I am aware that i am overthinking this, and that i should probably just stop worrying, but it is kind of difficult not to think about this when i speak to her every day.
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Old 02-14-2013, 12:12 AM   #14967
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KirkMetallica
Fell for friend's girl, kissed while they were dating, shit got outta hand, she broke it off because of reasons.


I don't completely blame you for doing what you did, I mean it was in the moment and shit like that can happen. It's not like she wanted to stay with her current bf anyway, and if he treated her badly, then whatever. But still, sort of a dick move.

Anyways, I have a feeling that this was just what I said, a 'in the moment' kind of thing. I'm not saying what you guys felt wasn't real, but it definitely made the feeling more because of the shit that was going on around you guys. It could have been a fuel for feelings that maybe weren't 100 percent complete yet.

My advice is to let it be for now. Give her space and see how things settle down after the smoke clears. Definitely talk about it, but try to also not be so giddy to start a relationship right away. Take your time, it will be better in the long run, whether you guys get back together or not.
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Old 02-14-2013, 02:10 AM   #14968
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KirkMetallica
oops.


Well, this is exactly why you dont do all that in the first place. What did you expect? It wasn't a scrupulous course of action, you both knew it, which is why it felt so good...probably much better than it otherwise would have. The damage is done now, after acting excessively like a douchebag (which he was entitled to as far as im concerned, albeit not to the extent that you described) you may as well cut ties with the guy unless it really interferes with your circle of friends and stuff. Then you'll really be shittered, because there's won't be any escaping it. It's going to be the elephant in the room for quite a while.

My advice: if there's gonna be an elephant in the room, you might as well enjoy it. I'd say maintain modest contact with her, then after stuff has cooled down you're off to the races with her. You sacrificed a friend for a girl, and considering the friend is now acting like an obnoxious dildo about it it hardly seems like a net loss.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowfrizbee
What does a girl have to do to get it in the butt thats all I ever wanted from you. Why, Ace? Why? I clean my asshole every night hoping and wishing and it never happens.
Bitches be Crazy.
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Old 02-14-2013, 02:17 AM   #14969
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Quote:
Originally Posted by donender
A, B, C


Sounds like she might be getting cold feet. The distance thing might be putting her off...and i also don't doubt that there's (an)other guy[s] she's talking to. To be frank, i wouldn't put much more time and energy into it. If you guys only made out the one time then i really would not put more time and energy into it.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowfrizbee
What does a girl have to do to get it in the butt thats all I ever wanted from you. Why, Ace? Why? I clean my asshole every night hoping and wishing and it never happens.
Bitches be Crazy.
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Last edited by Acϵ♠ : 02-14-2013 at 02:20 AM.
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Old 02-14-2013, 02:28 AM   #14970
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When is the best time to ask a girl out? As in, after what amount of time do you ask someone out?
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Old 02-14-2013, 03:22 AM   #14971
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If a girl starts complaining to you about her ex, are you supposed to shit talk him or what. What's the strategy here? Like, I never knew him but I knew who he WAS and thought he was a terrible choice for her, and now she's talking about he won't leave her alone and he owes her money and she's really good friends with his roommate and I don't really know where to go with any of this because I don't know any of these people or anything about their situation. But it sounds complicated and obviously if he's harassing her, I might get involved if anything happens between me and her.
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Old 02-14-2013, 04:13 AM   #14972
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GodofCheesecake
If a girl starts complaining to you about her ex, are you supposed to shit talk him or what. What's the strategy here? Like, I never knew him but I knew who he WAS and thought he was a terrible choice for her, and now she's talking about he won't leave her alone and he owes her money and she's really good friends with his roommate and I don't really know where to go with any of this because I don't know any of these people or anything about their situation. But it sounds complicated and obviously if he's harassing her, I might get involved if anything happens between me and her.


So I assume this girl isn't your gf? I wouldn't get involved yet, that would really only cause more problems. Just listen to her and try to relieve some of the stress that's she's feeling. If things become serious, then you might want to think about getting involved. But you would really have to know the details about the situation.
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Old 02-14-2013, 04:44 AM   #14973
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GodofCheesecake
If a girl starts complaining to you about her ex, are you supposed to shit talk him or what. What's the strategy here? Like, I never knew him but I knew who he WAS and thought he was a terrible choice for her, and now she's talking about he won't leave her alone and he owes her money and she's really good friends with his roommate and I don't really know where to go with any of this because I don't know any of these people or anything about their situation. But it sounds complicated and obviously if he's harassing her, I might get involved if anything happens between me and her.

It is okay to talk about an ex once or twice but not early on and not consistently. There is a difference between telling someone your life story and mentioning your ex so that they can get an understanding of your past and where you are coming from.

If I find a girl seems to talk about her ex a little too much I just gently interrupt and tell her I would much rather get to know her than her ex. Usually they get the message. But like the chev3lle suggested - not ideal to get involved with a girl that talks incessantly about her ex. She's still hung up on him.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluesblitz
When is the best time to ask a girl out? As in, after what amount of time do you ask someone out?

As soon as you know you want to take her out.

The longer you wait the more likely you will miss your oopportunity, or psych yourself out. The longer you wait the more time you spend fixated and hung up on that girl, and the harder it is if she turns you down.
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Old 02-14-2013, 10:32 AM   #14974
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GodofCheesecake
If a girl starts complaining to you about her ex, are you supposed to shit talk him or what. What's the strategy here? Like, I never knew him but I knew who he WAS and thought he was a terrible choice for her, and now she's talking about he won't leave her alone and he owes her money and she's really good friends with his roommate and I don't really know where to go with any of this because I don't know any of these people or anything about their situation. But it sounds complicated and obviously if he's harassing her, I might get involved if anything happens between me and her.


Standard protocol is to only bash him if she does first. Otherwise, nod your head and agree like a good boy.
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Old 02-14-2013, 10:56 AM   #14975
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Originally Posted by Acϵ♠
Sounds like she might be getting cold feet. The distance thing might be putting her off...and i also don't doubt that there's (an)other guy[s] she's talking to. To be frank, i wouldn't put much more time and energy into it. If you guys only made out the one time then i really would not put more time and energy into it.


Ok, thanks. I'll try to forget about it. It's just kind of difficult to do that when she calls me every day.
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Old 02-14-2013, 07:59 PM   #14976
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so im seeing this girl and she is awesome. We only really met a week ago and have been on a few dates but she seems really in to me.

I need suggestions though.

We have made tons of plans for things to do in the future but to be honest I feel like they all center on ME. For example, she shoots and I have always wanted to try shooting a gun so she is going to take me soon. Or I have never seen a harry potter movie and she likes them so we are going to watch them.

Its so weird. I almost feel like I am the one being asked out. I've never had this problem before.

Dates are fine and I have no problem thinking of places that we can have dinner or just go to talk for a bit, but dates like that are just so generic, versus all these awesome things that she is going to do for me. I guess what I am saying is that I dont want to feel like I am being out shined.

Like I said she is a really cool, really down to earth chick and from what I can gather (even in other aspects) she is just kind of assertive and likes to take charge of things. I have no problem with that -haha it actually makes things easier on me- I just dont want to feel like I am taking a back seat in things. Things are going really really well so far but I would hate if she starts to think I am boring or not assertive enough


So what do you guys recommend? What would be some genuinely awesome things that I could do for her?
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Old 02-15-2013, 02:30 AM   #14977
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Quote:
Originally Posted by superunknown
so im seeing this girl and she is awesome. We only really met a week ago and have been on a few dates but she seems really in to me.

I need suggestions though.

We have made tons of plans for things to do in the future but to be honest I feel like they all center on ME. For example, she shoots and I have always wanted to try shooting a gun so she is going to take me soon. Or I have never seen a harry potter movie and she likes them so we are going to watch them.

Its so weird. I almost feel like I am the one being asked out. I've never had this problem before.

Dates are fine and I have no problem thinking of places that we can have dinner or just go to talk for a bit, but dates like that are just so generic, versus all these awesome things that she is going to do for me. I guess what I am saying is that I dont want to feel like I am being out shined.

Like I said she is a really cool, really down to earth chick and from what I can gather (even in other aspects) she is just kind of assertive and likes to take charge of things. I have no problem with that -haha it actually makes things easier on me- I just dont want to feel like I am taking a back seat in things. Things are going really really well so far but I would hate if she starts to think I am boring or not assertive enough


So what do you guys recommend? What would be some genuinely awesome things that I could do for her?


Well, seeing as how you're on a guitar forum, and hopefully like music more than her, take her to a concert. Maybe she doesn't have a lot of experience at concerts, so that could be something that would be interesting for her. Of course, I'm just generalizing a lot, but still it's a good idea for any sort of date. Or you could play guitar for her too, or whatever instrument you play
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Old 02-15-2013, 02:55 AM   #14978
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Fact: as long as you still make an effort to do stuff, it's a nonfactor. Enjoy your time together and dont worry about it
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowfrizbee
What does a girl have to do to get it in the butt thats all I ever wanted from you. Why, Ace? Why? I clean my asshole every night hoping and wishing and it never happens.
Bitches be Crazy.
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Old 02-15-2013, 02:57 AM   #14979
superunknown
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Yeah I know she wants to hear me play guitar, but that isnt really something you can stretch into an entire day

And the show thing would work for any other instance (or possibly this one) but she doesnt really listen to the same kind of music that I do. I mean she does to an extent, but it would be really hard to find something that we both like enough to go to a show. I guess this is a little of what is throwing me since she is so different than any other girl i've seen in the past. That is a good idea though, she is in another state now so I have some time to plan and seattle is the tits for shows. It's an off chance but maybe there will be something when she gets back; I will have to check.

anway, any other ideas?

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Originally Posted by Acϵ♠
Fact: as long as you still make an effort to do stuff, it's a nonfactor. Enjoy your time together and dont worry about it


ehh yeah I know im probably just over thinking it but I really dont want her to feel like she is doing all the work
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Last edited by superunknown : 02-15-2013 at 02:59 AM.
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Old 02-15-2013, 03:02 AM   #14980
Acϵ♠
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visit the space needle? go to the beach, explore the city, museum of flight, museum of glass, the zoo, wild waves, seattle aquarium, EMP museum of music, the list goes on. seems like tons of stuff to do in seattle
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Originally Posted by yellowfrizbee
What does a girl have to do to get it in the butt thats all I ever wanted from you. Why, Ace? Why? I clean my asshole every night hoping and wishing and it never happens.
Bitches be Crazy.
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