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Old 10-10-2012, 06:33 PM   #2921
T00DEEPBLUE
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I've envisioned that with my father; he's always wanting me to do things his way...

We cannot help what we feel, I often think about (and put myself into) bad situations in my head because i fear to face them in the real world. They're usually associated with a past life experience. Sometimes I think for instance, that what if my father has another stroke that kills him? What that'll do to me and the rest of the family, i cannot help but feel empathetic for my mum or my sister in that scenario.

It acts like a natural defence mechanism, a way of reminding us of what we don't want to happen in a 'fight or flight' sort of way. Its nothing to feel guilty about, we can't help but fear things, especially the unknown, so being afraid is only a natural reaction.

But you can control them. Introspective, imaginative people tend to suffer with this sort of ruminating the most but on the flipside, your imagination can work for you instead of against you if you take control of it. As strong as your fear may be, and your capacity to create such a scenario in your head, you can get rid of such thoughts just as quickly. Keep things into perspective, recognize that you're ruminating over things that haven't happened and get rid of those fears through a reality check.

Edit: Off-topic

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Old 10-11-2012, 02:30 AM   #2922
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Originally Posted by ChucklesMginty
Do you ever wonder if there's actually a woman on the planet you would like to have a relationship with?

I'm wondering that. High standards man, it sucks.

But at the same time it's just a dumb ego thing where you're like 'no one is good enough for me, I'm so unique and complex that no woman could possible understand my mind and connect with me. I'm an intellectual!'

Then you go watch daytime TV and fart. All while having an identity crisis because you have no idea who the fuck you are anymore. Because you're slobbing out and it doesn't fit with the image you had of yourself in your head. So you just decide you're actually lazy and stupid, and you don't deserve a girlfriend because you're worthless and useless.

And this happens to me about 4 times a day. Over and over.



This my life right now.




Earlier this year I reconnected with an old friend from my childhood while she was staying in town for a few months and we became best friends again. I fell in love with her but didn't have a chance to do anything, or I probably wasn't brave enough, before she moved back to where she lives, an hour away. She's had 2 boyfriend's since she went back down there and just got engaged a few hours ago. She told me last week that she thought he was going to propose and asked what I thought and I said I think 4 months is a little too early to be getting married but I think he's a great and am extremely happy for her. I still can't get her out of my head though. It sucks so much and I know there's other fish in the sea and all that but I just feel like she was the one for me.

So now I'm just sitting here smoking weed and depressed as f***. Someone give me encouragement please.
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Old 10-11-2012, 03:28 PM   #2923
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Hey guys, I had a bit of a breakdown yesterday.

This year has been devastating for me. My grandma passed away, one of my best friends passed away and my mother got breast cancer but managed to fight it with chemo and got rid of the cancer.

This has only hit me yesterday.

I am living with my mom and going to uni, and I feel completely awful leaving my mom at home. As stupid as it sounds, I want to spend as much time with my mom as possible. I almost feel anxiety if I leave my mom alone. Chemo has affected her health and I am always so worried and hoping that it doesn't bring her down so much.

This may make me sound like a mommy's boy, I understand that completely! But my mom is all I have left. My dad passed away when I was 3, my grandma is gone, and the rest of my family live far away from us and we are losing contact.

I just feel like I want to spend as much with her as possible. I shudder to think about myself with a 9-5 job and leaving my mom alone for so long. I mean, when my friends go out in the town I usually makes excuses to stay home because I want to be with my mom. Not that her and I party together or something, I just feel less anxious.

Hell, I'm even putting off finding a weekend job because I don't want to leave her alone on Saturday. I don't know if this is healthy.

What do you guys make of this? I'm thinking of visiting a psychologist or a help group. Only thing is, getting a psychologist may take a while on the NHS.

I mentioned this anxiety to my mom, and she says I need to focus more on my own life and make more serious relationships with people. I agree with her, but I still think being around her feels more important for me. I feel like she took care of me as I grew up, and now I have to take care of her as she gets older.

What do you guys make of this? :/


Bumping this for attention :-3
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Old 10-11-2012, 03:41 PM   #2924
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Originally Posted by Philip_pepper
Bumping this for attention :-3


Dude it's fine, why would it be weird to want to spend time with someone you're close to after going through that (both in yours and her case)? If it got to the point where 3 years down the line you still don't want to move on with your life in fear that she might suddenly die then you'd have a problem but right now you're fine.

If you're worried about what your friends think just explain to them what's happened (if you can) and they'll understand. Attending some sort of counselling could be a big help if you still have trouble being away from her in the longer run.

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Old 10-11-2012, 04:22 PM   #2925
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Originally Posted by loose bowels
Dude it's fine, why would it be weird to want to spend time with someone you're close to after going through that (both in yours and her case)? If it got to the point where 3 years down the line you still don't want to move on with your life in fear that she might suddenly die then you'd have a problem but right now you're fine.

If you're worried about what your friends think just explain to them what's happened (if you can) and they'll understand. Attending some sort of counselling could be a big help if you still have trouble being away from her in the longer run.



Cheers man.

You know, my mom told me something like "I don't want you to turn into the guy in that movie, "the 40 year old virgin" (not that I am a virgin :P) but I wouldn't really mind! :P
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Old 10-11-2012, 04:27 PM   #2926
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My wife left me yesterday. She moved back to her parents' and will file for divorce past January. I'm now home alone with only our cat, who I'll be giving her back in January (I'm stationed in Japan and a friend is moving back to the states that month and will take her for us). I'll be losing the house and will have to move into the singles' dorms where I'll probably have up to 2 or 3 roommates. I'll also be losing all the furniture because I won't have anywhere to put it. Also, I'm still stuck here for another year after that and will have to deal with my entire shop knowing I got divorced.

I'm pretty much losing my entire life.


Divorce is one of three biggest life stresses. It's perfectly normal to feel like this, many others have. I personally haven't gone through it but I can imagine it to be dreadful. Hang in there man. As T00DeepBlue said, you have to think of it as another beginning. I have had possibly 2 times in my life where I didn't see the point in moving forward at ALL. However, looking back, I'm glad I did. Keep your head up!
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Old 10-11-2012, 04:51 PM   #2927
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Originally Posted by Philip_pepper
Bumping this for attention :-3

This is completely understandable and a lot of other people would do the same thing. Your friends will understand that you want to spend time with your mom while she has bad health.

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Old 10-12-2012, 12:46 AM   #2928
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This might sound really strange but I'm not sure where else to post this.

Anyway. I used to live in a little ol town called Alexandria, VA. I called it home for very close to 21 years before we had to move due to flood problems. We moved in June. The house was to be knocked down in late august but was still standing when I was last there (august 25th was the last time i saw the house).

I'm going to be in town this weekend. Is it strange that, having now said good bye to the house twice now, that if I go over to that neighborhood, that when I turn the corner, I almost want to see a vacant lot?

I feel like it's become a case with like a beloved family pet who needs to be put down. I almost want it to be over with but I don't want to turn the corner and see it gone. And yet if I turned the corner and it was still standing, I'd want to go inside. Which, because we sold the property to the county, is now illegal. I could still get in, our neighbor has a key, but still.

I don't really know how I'm supposed to feel about this and I'm confused

Quote:
Originally Posted by Philip_pepper
Bumping this for attention :-3


Like everyone else said, you're fine. But be honest with your friends; true friends would be there for you and support you through this
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Last edited by Shotgunmerc : 10-12-2012 at 12:49 AM.
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Old 10-12-2012, 05:40 PM   #2929
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Like everyone else said, you're fine. But be honest with your friends; true friends would be there for you and support you through this


Only thing I'm worried about is that I'm putting off things, like looking for a part time job or avoiding nights out with friends. I don't mind those things, but I wonder if it could be disadvantageous in the long run.

I need a placement for my career (optometry) and I got a year and a half to get one. Plenty of time, sure, but a few of my friends are on it already and have had a related job for almost a year, if not more.
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Old 10-12-2012, 06:52 PM   #2930
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Keep getting stood up by this girl. She says she's interested, but twice now she's bailed on me without a word.

Makes me feel shitty. Thats all.
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sht up u flthy librl foogit stfu u soo mad n butthurdt ur ass is an analpocolypse cuz ur so gay "my ass hrts so mcuh" - u. your rectally vexed n anlly angushed lolo go bck 2 asslnd lolol
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Old 10-12-2012, 07:05 PM   #2931
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Originally Posted by King Of Suede
Keep getting stood up by this girl. She says she's interested, but twice now she's bailed on me without a word.

Makes me feel shitty. Thats all.
Seems like it's time to either move on or just directly ask what's up. Seems like you're being strung along here.

So I finally got a haircut today and after about 6 or 7 years of long-ish hair, I got it cut short again. Best decision I've made in a while. Looks and feels a lot better, but it's going to take some getting used to.
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Old 10-12-2012, 07:10 PM   #2932
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Originally Posted by ChaosInside
So I finally got a haircut today and after about 6 or 7 years of long-ish hair, I got it cut short again. Best decision I've made in a while. Looks and feels a lot better, but it's going to take some getting used to.

I know that feel bro, and that feel is good.
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I'm not gonna post pics of my hot mom.
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Old 10-12-2012, 07:13 PM   #2933
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I know that feel bro, and that feel is good.
I'm interested in seeing the responses of my friends when I get to uni on monday. So far my family has reacted positively. Off to bed now, 32 hours of class + everything on top of that a week is pretty cumbersome.
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Old 10-12-2012, 07:57 PM   #2934
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Originally Posted by ChaosInside
Seems like it's time to either move on or just directly ask what's up. Seems like you're being strung along here.

So I finally got a haircut today and after about 6 or 7 years of long-ish hair, I got it cut short again. Best decision I've made in a while. Looks and feels a lot better, but it's going to take some getting used to.


Yeah, I guess it's kinda funny though since I wasn't planning on making anything serious. I took her out once a couple weeks ago and have just been trying to get my penis touched.

To the 2nd part, I had hair halfway down my back all through high school, the day after graduation, I shaved it all off. Ridiculous the amount of positive response I got from dudes and ladies I knew.


EDIT: Aforementioned lady walked through my building with some other dude whom I assumed to be her brother, till I watched her leave and she got all touchily.
Some times you just have to laugh
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Originally Posted by Banjocal
sht up u flthy librl foogit stfu u soo mad n butthurdt ur ass is an analpocolypse cuz ur so gay "my ass hrts so mcuh" - u. your rectally vexed n anlly angushed lolo go bck 2 asslnd lolol

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Old 10-13-2012, 10:03 AM   #2935
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Originally Posted by King Of Suede
Keep getting stood up by this girl. She says she's interested, but twice now she's bailed on me without a word.

Makes me feel shitty. Thats all.

Sounds like that girl has a bad case of bitch-itis.
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Old 10-13-2012, 10:26 AM   #2936
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Originally Posted by Philip_pepper
Sounds like that girl has a bad case of bitch-itis.


Eeyup. If she keeps it up don't bother.
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Old 10-13-2012, 10:40 AM   #2937
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So, I admit I have no idea what I'm doing anymore.

It starts off, that I felt like meeting more people. I broke up with a girlfriend a while back and shes already met someone else. I don't regret the decision at all and I'm glad shes meet someone else. But, it's just got me thinking. Most about myself. Other people I know stopped being as adventurous due to their relationships. Doing stupid things with friends always took my mind off the whole relationship status and meeting people stuff. Without that distraction, I have a hell of a lot more time to think. Which, can't be too good. Honestly, I just felt like I wanted to make something happen. Just meet someone new, who cares where it goes. And then I did. Sort of.

There was a group of girls walking by last week. ]I knew all but one, but I was never quite introduced to the girl I didn't know (lots of stuff was going on). But, after they left one of the girls I knew hung back with us and told me who she was. She was pretty cute (the girl I didn't know), but I haven't talked to/meet her yet. That, and the same girl who hung back from the group and another friend all say that shes pretty cool. I saw some facebook photos and she seems interesting too. She seems to have pictures of herself in the same dumb situations I get myself into. Which is interesting.

I made a goal to meet new people (not much college time left to do it, you know?) and I have some lingering chance to meet someone cute/cool. I want to take that opportunity. But, I'm not sure how to do it without being weird. I was invited over their house by the same girl who hung back from the group (college is on a very short break so not many people are here). However, when I went over she wasn't even there. Slightly disappointing as I was going to use that as my chance to introduce myself. Now, I'm not quite sure what I'm doing. I don't know if I should talk to a friend about it, but I never do that kind of stuff, for I feel like that would be really weird. At the same time, it might not be. Sidenote, it's slightly impossible to do anything tomorrow (or later today depending on when people read this), such as talking to her face to face. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.
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Old 10-13-2012, 01:49 PM   #2938
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stuff.


Speak to your friend, the one who you talked to after the others left and see if the girl who you're interested in is single. If she is, try to arrange a big social event, like a bowling game or something and see if you can get on her team. From there it's a skilled cat and mouse game of conversation where you try to convince her you're dateable/doable. It's a tricky thing, and many brave men have lost their sanity and shoes attempting it but I have faith in you.



Go get her!

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Loneliness is the worst pain that a human being can go through. It's not a physical pain, that they can bandage you up and then send you on your way; and it's not a mental pain that they can drug you into normalness with. It's a soul pain, an infection, a parasite that blends with you like a symbiote until you fail to remember where you begin and the pain ends. Loneliness is the feeling that if you dropped dead this second, no one would notice and no one would care...
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Old 10-13-2012, 09:40 PM   #2939
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Well I ****ed up. It's my birthday and even with the help of my friends I couldn't get laid. I can't pretend to like being this drunk or pretend to like clubbing. ****! I want to die,
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Old 10-13-2012, 10:11 PM   #2940
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Originally Posted by loose bowels
Well I ****ed up. It's my birthday and even with the help of my friends I couldn't get laid. I can't pretend to like being this drunk or pretend to like clubbing. ****! I want to die,

Dude, getting 'laid' isn't some badge of honor. You're right that you cannot pretend to enjoy something you don't, but not getting something as petty as 'getting laid' is not something worth killing yourself over or to feel bad about.
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