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Old 10-15-2012, 10:12 PM   #2961
T00DEEPBLUE
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChaosInside
Well, the benefits we reap is finding answers during our quest for knowledge. If you're dead, of course there isn't any benefits to reap, since you have ceased to exist by then.

The thing that keeps people living the lives they do is pleasure, in my opinion. If there is something that will give you pleasure, you will want to keep doing it. Nobody in the world is going to do something that will ensure that that person will never obtain pleasure. You do something and get rewarded for it, that is how the human psyche works basically. The only reason people work at a fast food restaurant is probably because they get money in return for it.

This in combination with the uncertainty of the future keeps people alive. You never know what pleasures lie ahead. The anticipation of it keeps people living I imagine.

But what do I know. For every argument there will be a counterargument to bring up in this debate. And I'm too tired to even think of any other arguments. The only reason I haven't succumbed to chronic fatigue or depression yet is coffee and the fact that I'm too busy to succumb to depression. I'm not sure how close I am to getting kicked off of this edge though. Last paragraph probably doesn't make sense anymore now.

I do indeed have a counter-argument for that. But i'll spare you when the issue of 'pleasure' never satisfying what it promises for another day when its more pressing and you can think more straight.
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Originally Posted by Wolfinator-x
@Mac this is where I sort of envy people who are convinced they will have eternal life after death as a reward for going through the beauties and miseries of life. I'm quite open-minded to the idea (flameshield) but I don't strongly believe (read: preach) in any form of afterlife, though I sort of really hope it exists. When I think about it, I get nervous, scared and depressed, but if you think about it, it's not knowing that sort of gives us the will to keep going.

And since this is the hugging thread, what the hell (no pun intended):

You're right on the money, Wolfie. Christians, Muslims, Jews and so on are often bombarded with people who speak of the words, "I wish I had your faith" for a reason.

And i agree, i really, really hope there is more to living than what we see; that all of this struggling through the fray is actually going somewhere despite my non-belief. But at least necrophobia is the reason i'm not speaking to you with wings and a harp.
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Old 10-19-2012, 08:56 PM   #2962
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Long helpless rant coming ahead:

So I am home on leave right now and I have so much shit to do its not even funny. I have to get my shit packed into boxes and have them shipped to Hawaii and I have to get my car ready to ship over there and I have several flights I have to take before I can even leave (It's a long story). And during all of this I have to drop a lot of money to do so. I already don't make that much money to begin with, and these flights I have to pay for on top of my bills (that already take up most of my paycheck) don't help.

What also doesn't help is the fact that since I'm home, my mom for some bizarre reason thinks I'm rolling in dough and asks me to buy all these things here and there. And everyone wants a piece of me (like my cousins)to help them fix things. I kind of feel like I'm being used by everyone. And on top of that I am doing some extra duty so I don't get charged all the days I'm taking for leave and that's taking a toll on me because I'm there from 9am to 7pm and when I get home all I want to do is relax and I can't because people are always asking for my help or for me to do something. On top of that, I need to workout a lot while I'm home because I have a Physical Fitness Assessment when I get to my next command and I'm a little overweight. I never have time to workout because the park opens after I leave for duty and closes when I get off.

Now for my depressing part: I had a nervous breakdown today because all my friends are enjoying their time at home relaxing and spending time with their family and friends and here I am, I can't enjoy my family at all. My mom has really bad arthritis and it limits her greatly so we can't do much and on top of that she sleeps all day because she works at night and never wants to do anything. My sister is mentally handicapped and all she does is sit there and crap herself. And I would enjoy being with my cat but he makes me sick and I have to take like 4 allergy pills a day. I feel bad for thinking this way but it really hit me today that I can't enjoy my family at all. I would hang out with my friends but they all live 200 miles away and I don't have the money to sit there and drive back and forth. This really made me hate my ****ing life today and I'm just so helpless to do anything about it. I knew I would have downsides about being home, but this is ridiculous and it shouldn't be like this. And I have no one to talk to about it because my best friend is drunk right now and my boyfriend is not the best with emotions.

I need hugs. Lots of them.
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Old 10-19-2012, 09:09 PM   #2963
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Just had to make myself spew because I felt so ill. Somebody sing me soft kitty. Boobs preferred.
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Old 10-19-2012, 09:12 PM   #2964
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Firstly,

Secondly, try explaining to everyone what you just explained to us. Don't do it on a 1 on 1 basis or you might give someone the wrong idea, but if you communicate to everyone at once that you're worn out and you need your own space, they should understand. Helping out family/friends is one thing but if you feel overextended you'll hit the wall hard.

Thirdly, , and I hope the move goes well. Is there anyway you can cut down the number of flights?
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Old 10-19-2012, 09:18 PM   #2965
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^ I wish. I have to drive to Orlando to drop my car off to be shipped and fly back home to finish my leave. And then I have to fly up to Pensacola to catch my flight to Hawaii. I would reroute the flight to somewhere closer, but for some reason it's an extra $319 to do that. I cut down money taking a flight there. But it's still a lot. Thank you for the hugs. And by the way, my boyfriend is from Irwin, PA
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Old 10-19-2012, 09:22 PM   #2966
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Awwww yeahh I actually just moved here a few months ago, I kinda like it.

How long until that whole process is over?
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Old 10-19-2012, 09:32 PM   #2967
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What process? Until I get to Hawaii? My flight leaves November 4th
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Old 10-19-2012, 09:33 PM   #2968
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Ah ok. So that's not too bad. Just let everyone know you want to relax and enjoy your time off, be calm about it and they should be cool
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Old 10-20-2012, 10:39 AM   #2969
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One thing I've never understood. Where does your self confidence come from?

I've learned to fake it. Oh, that's simple. However, real confidence in oneself seems to be difficult for me to grasp. I just can't do that. I've been debating having real self confidence in myself for a long while. I figured I'd throw the question up here to see what others think of the topic or how they do it for themselves.
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Old 10-20-2012, 11:43 AM   #2970
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Originally Posted by Ticket48
One thing I've never understood. Where does your self confidence come from?

I've learned to fake it. Oh, that's simple. However, real confidence in oneself seems to be difficult for me to grasp. I just can't do that. I've been debating having real self confidence in myself for a long while. I figured I'd throw the question up here to see what others think of the topic or how they do it for themselves.


I don't even have fake confidence, my technique over the years has been to hide in the corner/at the side. It does however mean I can sneak up on people a little more easily, not that it's a good skill.

Also going out again tonight, expect my usual post at about 2 o'clock GMT.
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Old 10-20-2012, 06:10 PM   #2971
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Man, I've been really ****ing bummed out every weekend since school has begun.
I feel like I don't know what I want to do with myself, at all.
Also feel that I'm going to lose contact with everyone that I've met in high school.
Shit ****ing sucks, man.
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Old 10-21-2012, 01:14 PM   #2972
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I think I may have messed up the only meaningful relationship I have with any person, anywhere, with the only person that makes me happy in my day to day life.
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Old 10-21-2012, 01:21 PM   #2973
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So it has been a week into this existential crisis. I'm still fucking depressed all the time.

I just don't care about life anymore. Why should i care? What do i have to lose by dying? If our lives mean nothing, then what is the point in feeling anything? Why should i bother to feel guilty for the pain i would cause to so many people if i died? Their lives are just as meaningless as mine, their feelings don't have value as life has no meaning. The only reason i'm not dead is because of fear and guilt.

I'm fucking stupid. Why can't i just stop fucking around and get it over with?
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Old 10-21-2012, 01:31 PM   #2974
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Physically beautiful in so many ways, totally and completely committed to me, but she was just a child in handling conflict. So there would be just NO resolution. I loved having someone who was there for me, but I hated someone who needed me so goddamn much. And I hated how these arguments were always my problem and never hers. The breakup had to happen, I just wish she had been who I hoped she'd been.


EDIT: Dude, look at everyone's problems on this page? Everyone has troubles, but they're all still here. Why? Because as small as life is in the vastness of the universe, it is far from meaningless, and that meaning, as small as you imagine it being, is not to just die. That would be redundant.

Nobody just says, "Im strong and confident" and then becomes it. Once you're content thats when you stop trying. Why aren't you trying now? You only put wrinkles in your brain when you put yourself in unfamiliar, uncomfortable situations. You can either grow or wither, and its all your decision.
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Old 10-21-2012, 02:43 PM   #2975
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Originally Posted by Zombee
Dude, look at everyone's problems on this page? Everyone has troubles, but they're all still here. Why? Because as small as life is in the vastness of the universe, it is far from meaningless,

Everyone has problems, that's nice to know. It doesn't make life any more meaningful though does it?
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and that meaning, as small as you imagine it being, is not to just die. That would be redundant.

That's exactly the point. Life is redundant.
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Nobody just says, "Im strong and confident" and then becomes it. Once you're content thats when you stop trying. Why aren't you trying now? You only put wrinkles in your brain when you put yourself in unfamiliar, uncomfortable situations. You can either grow or wither, and its all your decision.

Actually, if one believes that they are strong and confident, they will be stronger and more confident.

Why aren't i trying now? Why should i? I'm sick and tired of everything that i have to put up with, why should i bother to put up with that bullshit since it only makes my life even more miserable and seem even more meaningless? Why suffer as there is no reward in the end?

Grow or wither, yeah sure. I wish i could simply grow out of my meaningless existence. Save me jeebus.

I know i'm sounding like a dick but to be fair, your post is pretty arrogant.
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Old 10-21-2012, 05:12 PM   #2976
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I'm sorry Dan, but I can't seem to find arguments to challenge your position. I've been staring at the screen for probably the past half hour, but I can't come up with anything right now.

Just know that I'm here for you if you want to vent about things. You've got my FB and you can find my skype by searching my name if you really need to talk. Just take any drastic actions without talking to someone else about it first, alright?
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Old 10-21-2012, 05:42 PM   #2977
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Originally Posted by ChaosInside
I'm sorry Dan, but I can't seem to find arguments to challenge your position. I've been staring at the screen for probably the past half hour, but I can't come up with anything right now.

Just know that I'm here for you if you want to vent about things. You've got my FB and you can find my skype by searching my name if you really need to talk. Just take any drastic actions without talking to someone else about it first, alright?


I think he means "just don't take any drastic actions"

Same applies for me though. I might not be able to offer much more than what I have in recent days but I can always try
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Old 10-21-2012, 05:50 PM   #2978
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Originally Posted by ChaosInside
Just take any drastic actions without talking to someone else about it first, alright?

I know, but... What is a drastic action? I know what you mean but if there is no meaning to life, then i have nothing to gain and nothing lose in life, so is it really a drastic action to take it away from myself?

The reason why existential crisis is so crippling is because the nihilism it brings applies to everything in life, including getting better. So recovering from an existential crisis as an atheist is almost impossible.
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Old 10-21-2012, 06:10 PM   #2979
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Christ, I can't believe I'm posting here. I feel so inexplicably pathetic for it but screw everything, right to Hell.

This might be a long post. I don't give a flying monkey's arse if you read it or not, but I'll vent and see how I fucking feel afterwards.

I've just started my 3rd year at Uni (in the UK), and this year I'm doing a year abroad. I arrived in my host country (Germany) at the start of October. For the weeks preceding my arrival, I was anxious and aprehensive. Not excited, like I should be. When I arrived, my dad came with me to help me move in, was around for the day, and then he left to take the plane home. When I hugged him goodbye and saw the train pull out of the station I damn near had a panic attack. I felt physically sick for days. There was a pit in my stomach that formed the moment I was left alone, and it hasn't really left. I damn near wanted to cry when my dad left. You have no idea how pathetic that makes me realise I am. Jesus, I need a slap round the face.

The last time I was in a situation like this (first year of University, just moved in), I was the same. I knew nobody, I didn't know the area, I was starting a degree, I'd never lived alone before. At home, I was fairly confident (I had a tendency to be very harsh on myself, though), I was talkative and somewhat outgoing. However, upon arrival I noticed an immediate change in my character. I became quiet, reserved, shy, the thought of talking to people induced a paralysing fear. In groups I would blend into the background and contribute nothing. As a result, I made very few friends and had almost no social life. Second year was better, by MILES. I, by sheer dumb luck, found a house of cool people to move in with, came out of my shell a bit more and got a little bit of confidence, made some friends.

Conclusion: I don't think I can handle being in this kind of environment. New places, new people, totally alone, nothing but what little common fucking sense I have. Around my friends and family at home, I'm perfectly confident (if rather self-deprecating sometimes still, however) and outgoing. As soon as I'm plunged into a situation where I know absolutely nothing about where I am or the people, everything vanishes into the ether.

I got here and all of a sudden I've regressed. I've gone back to being that quivering, pathetic, shy, quiet, shamefully unconfident first year I was 2 years ago. I'm struggling with the language, which I expected, and I'll get over that, I'm trying to learn it. There was a welcome party for international students one Friday, which I attended, alone. I saw a few people who were obvious erasmus students like me (we were all made to wear little name tags). I wanted to go up to one of the small groups ad introduce myself with my terrible German, but I couldn't. I was quite literally paralysed by the thought of going up to strangers and saying hello. I tried the Dutch courage route. Sat there for FOUR. FUCKING. HOURS. In a fucking corner, quietly drinking, all the while attempting to feebly trying to scrape together what tiny drops of confidence I had. In the end, I gave up and went home. I was irate with myself. Why the Hell can't I do it? I was then sad and depressed on top of biblically pissed off with myself because I began to realise that this year will be a long and lonely one.

I have been here 3 weeks, and have made no friends. You could count the people I've met on 1 hand.

My lack of confidence has even affected my performance in the laboratory I'm working in (I'm doing a research project as part of my degree under a PhD student). I'd forgotten simple procedures, I'm badly out of practise from the summer and I'm making mistakes. very few, and only minor ones, but it's not doing me any favours.

In summation, I hate how I am. I despise it with every single ounce of passion I can muster. I'm utterly pathetic. My aptitude in coping with new and unfamiliar experiences is lamentable. All I keep thinking, over and over, is "I made a mistake". If I don't have a hand to hold, I am as much use as a chocolate teapot. My lack of confidence, in every endeavor, is appaling. I thought I was confident and able to cope. Turns out I'm just as utterly, woefully hopeless as I always was. the only thing stopping it show was the fact that I was always in my comfort zone. Take me outside of that comfort zone, and that's it. I'm jelly.

I came out here to experience a new country and meet people, not while away the year contemplating my own inadequacy. My problem lies that I'm so terrified that I can't summon the courage to do anything about it.

I constantly feel hopeless, depressed and anxious. I'm homesick, I'm lonely and thinking of the year ahead fills me with dread. I fucking loathe emotions.




Rant over.
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Old 10-21-2012, 06:13 PM   #2980
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I would hug you, but I know you are too scared that I stick to you and never go way.
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