Lobyte

I agree and that actually made me feel better Still, since my best friend was on the ground you keep thinking on about what you should´ve done differently in a situation like that.
In the end you guys are still right though.

my other friend hit the other guy quite hard by the way, that guy didn´t seem hurt at the time at all, due to the drugs probably. Afterward they just started namecalling and we wanted it be over so we just walked. Some people are insane.

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Bong Rips
& Bong Rips
& Bong Rips
& Bong Rips

Ticket48

If it was only a little over a year ago, then that means most people are still figuring out college and their lives. A lot is going on for everyone, and depending on the person is the stress they're dealing with. It doesn't sound like it bothers you too much, but you shouldn't let it get to you at all.
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And hey, sounds like a good time even if you don't go after her. Could still be a good friend, you never know. Plus, who doesn't love a good bike ride with company?
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I'm a pretty reserved person as well. I usually don't truly open up, I just talk more. Which almost gives off a fake feeling of knowing someone. It's a bit weird in that sense. I can almost make people think they know me better/more deeply when it's still just a surface level thing.
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But hey, at the end of the day you have to take a look at those problems you internalize. Some of them can be shared (you're doing it here, right?). I always thought no one should know my issues. It was something personal I was dealing with. But there are always people, or even times, where you can just vent anything. I still hold back if I do that, so I'm not really a shining example of what to do. But if there's ever a discussion about a topic that's been annoying you, just jump in. (Heads up, this is actually kind of mean) Just yesterday, 3 out of my 4 townhouse mates were complaining about the 4th (Including me, 5 of us live here). I was bothered by things that he did, but I didn't say anything for a while, I just kept it locked in. Turns out, so did everyone else and eventually, we all had enough. He left the house for a bit and everyone let loose, completely disregarding the open window he most likely walked by. That's a pretty bad example, but I mean, there's a time and place for everything. Even if you can't find one, just venting on this forum is better than nothing.

So keep on using this forum if you want. But stay optimistic, you might just find there is a friend you could talk to. It may not seem like they is one, but once again, you may be in for a surprise.

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Tessalate

Well then, lets make sure next week it changes to a 5.

There's honestly nothing to be nervous about. The only reason why girls dress up and look nice and act all girly and everything is so that guys like us would approach them.

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Oh you wouldn’t want an angel watching over
Surprise, surprise they wouldn’t wannna watch
Another uninnocent, elegant fall
Into the unmagnificent lives of adults

It's Tessa, not Tesse please.

evening_crow

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Me. Naked.

WARNING: I kill threads.

T00DEEPBLUE

I thought that thread you made was strictly a hypothetical scenario. I'm really sorry if i came off as an ass.

It is perfectly understandable that you're devastated, but listen, this is not the end of your life, not yet. Why should it be the end? This is an opportunity for change, for things to be different, that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Having things change gives you desirable opportunities that you never would have had if you were stayed married. Divorce does not make you any less of a man, it does not make you a failure, believing that you are a failure is not fair on yourself. Many dark clouds have silver linings, things that seem bad nearly always open up opportunities rather than closing them in like a setback always seems to do. Many people who end up divorcing do not look at it as a particularly bad thing in the future.

You have every right to be happy, so don't shut yourself out of the capacity to be happy because you think that you don't deserve happiness. Its bullshit, you deserve it in its entirety.

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Philip_pepper

Hey guys, I had a bit of a breakdown yesterday.

This year has been devastating for me. My grandma passed away, one of my best friends passed away and my mother got breast cancer but managed to fight it with chemo and got rid of the cancer.

This has only hit me yesterday.

I am living with my mom and going to uni, and I feel completely awful leaving my mom at home. As stupid as it sounds, I want to spend as much time with my mom as possible. I almost feel anxiety if I leave my mom alone. Chemo has affected her health and I am always so worried and hoping that it doesn't bring her down so much.

This may make me sound like a mommy's boy, I understand that completely! But my mom is all I have left. My dad passed away when I was 3, my grandma is gone, and the rest of my family live far away from us and we are losing contact.

I just feel like I want to spend as much with her as possible. I shudder to think about myself with a 9-5 job and leaving my mom alone for so long. I mean, when my friends go out in the town I usually makes excuses to stay home because I want to be with my mom. Not that her and I party together or something, I just feel less anxious.

Hell, I'm even putting off finding a weekend job because I don't want to leave her alone on Saturday. I don't know if this is healthy.

What do you guys make of this? I'm thinking of visiting a psychologist or a help group. Only thing is, getting a psychologist may take a while on the NHS.

I mentioned this anxiety to my mom, and she says I need to focus more on my own life and make more serious relationships with people. I agree with her, but I still think being around her feels more important for me. I feel like she took care of me as I grew up, and now I have to take care of her as she gets older.

What do you guys make of this? :/

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Ah, as th' only gentleman belaw th' Clyde, condemn violence an' rude bahavioor.

Shotgunmerc

I'm really letting little things get to me. I was (unfortunately) remembering how much high school/my love life sucked. As a result I'm really stressing out at work for no reason. For example, i thought i had left the back door unlocked (I didn't) and before I realized I was fine, i envisioned a whole scenario where i got fired and spent half an hour screaming at my parents about how I should just give up on what i want and what I enjoy and just live my life the way they want me to because my way wasn't working.

It's ridiculous. Why do i allow myself to get that far down

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Current Record: April 2013: 9

e-Adopted by dawgeth321, davrockist, |69|, and FireFromTheVoid

Yeah, my e-family is strange

T00DEEPBLUE

I've envisioned that with my father; he's always wanting me to do things his way...

We cannot help what we feel, I often think about (and put myself into) bad situations in my head because i fear to face them in the real world. They're usually associated with a past life experience. Sometimes I think for instance, that what if my father has another stroke that kills him? What that'll do to me and the rest of the family, i cannot help but feel empathetic for my mum or my sister in that scenario.

It acts like a natural defence mechanism, a way of reminding us of what we don't want to happen in a 'fight or flight' sort of way. Its nothing to feel guilty about, we can't help but fear things, especially the unknown, so being afraid is only a natural reaction.

But you can control them. Introspective, imaginative people tend to suffer with this sort of ruminating the most but on the flipside, your imagination can work for you instead of against you if you take control of it. As strong as your fear may be, and your capacity to create such a scenario in your head, you can get rid of such thoughts just as quickly. Keep things into perspective, recognize that you're ruminating over things that haven't happened and get rid of those fears through a reality check.

Edit: Off-topic

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tbbgr

This my life right now.




Earlier this year I reconnected with an old friend from my childhood while she was staying in town for a few months and we became best friends again. I fell in love with her but didn't have a chance to do anything, or I probably wasn't brave enough, before she moved back to where she lives, an hour away. She's had 2 boyfriend's since she went back down there and just got engaged a few hours ago. She told me last week that she thought he was going to propose and asked what I thought and I said I think 4 months is a little too early to be getting married but I think he's a great and am extremely happy for her. I still can't get her out of my head though. It sucks so much and I know there's other fish in the sea and all that but I just feel like she was the one for me.

So now I'm just sitting here smoking weed and depressed as f***. Someone give me encouragement please.

Philip_pepper

Bumping this for attention :-3

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Ah, as th' only gentleman belaw th' Clyde, condemn violence an' rude bahavioor.

loose bowels

Dude it's fine, why would it be weird to want to spend time with someone you're close to after going through that (both in yours and her case)? If it got to the point where 3 years down the line you still don't want to move on with your life in fear that she might suddenly die then you'd have a problem but right now you're fine.

If you're worried about what your friends think just explain to them what's happened (if you can) and they'll understand. Attending some sort of counselling could be a big help if you still have trouble being away from her in the longer run.

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Graham Linehan - I have this little click in my knee and every time I hear it I think 'Ooh I'm gonna die'!

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Philip_pepper

Cheers man.

You know, my mom told me something like "I don't want you to turn into the guy in that movie, "the 40 year old virgin" (not that I am a virgin :P) but I wouldn't really mind! :P

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Ah, as th' only gentleman belaw th' Clyde, condemn violence an' rude bahavioor.

Philip_pepper

Divorce is one of three biggest life stresses. It's perfectly normal to feel like this, many others have. I personally haven't gone through it but I can imagine it to be dreadful. Hang in there man. As T00DeepBlue said, you have to think of it as another beginning. I have had possibly 2 times in my life where I didn't see the point in moving forward at ALL. However, looking back, I'm glad I did. Keep your head up!

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Ah, as th' only gentleman belaw th' Clyde, condemn violence an' rude bahavioor.

tbbgr

This is completely understandable and a lot of other people would do the same thing. Your friends will understand that you want to spend time with your mom while she has bad health.

Shotgunmerc

This might sound really strange but I'm not sure where else to post this.

Anyway. I used to live in a little ol town called Alexandria, VA. I called it home for very close to 21 years before we had to move due to flood problems. We moved in June. The house was to be knocked down in late august but was still standing when I was last there (august 25th was the last time i saw the house).

I'm going to be in town this weekend. Is it strange that, having now said good bye to the house twice now, that if I go over to that neighborhood, that when I turn the corner, I almost want to see a vacant lot?

I feel like it's become a case with like a beloved family pet who needs to be put down. I almost want it to be over with but I don't want to turn the corner and see it gone. And yet if I turned the corner and it was still standing, I'd want to go inside. Which, because we sold the property to the county, is now illegal. I could still get in, our neighbor has a key, but still.

I don't really know how I'm supposed to feel about this and I'm confused



Like everyone else said, you're fine. But be honest with your friends; true friends would be there for you and support you through this

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Monthly Owned Count: 4

Current Record: April 2013: 9

e-Adopted by dawgeth321, davrockist, |69|, and FireFromTheVoid

Yeah, my e-family is strange

Philip_pepper

Only thing I'm worried about is that I'm putting off things, like looking for a part time job or avoiding nights out with friends. I don't mind those things, but I wonder if it could be disadvantageous in the long run.

I need a placement for my career (optometry) and I got a year and a half to get one. Plenty of time, sure, but a few of my friends are on it already and have had a related job for almost a year, if not more.

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Ah, as th' only gentleman belaw th' Clyde, condemn violence an' rude bahavioor.

King Of Suede

Keep getting stood up by this girl. She says she's interested, but twice now she's bailed on me without a word.

Makes me feel shitty. Thats all.

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ChaosInside

Seems like it's time to either move on or just directly ask what's up. Seems like you're being strung along here.

So I finally got a haircut today and after about 6 or 7 years of long-ish hair, I got it cut short again. Best decision I've made in a while. Looks and feels a lot better, but it's going to take some getting used to.

Hydra150

I know that feel bro, and that feel is good.

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