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Old 11-14-2011, 06:34 PM   #81
ChaosInside
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrea55
Freaking adbot just quoted me from the first page.

Anyway, sorry I'm not posting any advice right now but I have just been so stressed with things lately. Not only with school but thinking about my ex. It just bothers me that he never cared, just lied to me and led me along. That's why I needed to leave and sort my life out. I can't help but think about it. Even though I have someone else interested in me now I can't stop thinking about the past. I know I need to let it go but it's just so hard. I guess a hug will help me now and maybe some advice about letting go and to stop thinking about the past.

the key to letting go of the past is to realize and accept that you are off better without your ex. some people are cold-hearted like that and youre better off without that guy. after my ex broke up with me i quickly realized that i was better off without her probably, so i got over that with relative ease. youre ex is not worth the time on your mind.

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Old 11-14-2011, 06:42 PM   #82
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Quote:
Originally Posted by devourke
Yeah the first time you do it, you feel kind of stupid because it doesn't really feel like much, but if you continue to do it in place of the harmful actions, you come to expect that feeling instead of the feeling that bruising gives you. It takes some willpower but if you manage to completely replace it you'll be a lot more in control of your feelings and shit.


Possibly. Hopefully it doesn't backfire and just make me crave the bruising even more. I feel like I'm in a meditative/vegetative stage already 24/7

Quote:
Originally Posted by isabiggles
Have you ever thought about taking up kickboxing/muay thai?

I know it's not the same thing but I used to be quite violent/aggressive and i'd lash out at random shit for no good reason. I mean, I like getting hit too but doing kickboxing or whatever means there's a reason for it. It took me ages (having AS) to man up and go down to the gym to learn but it was the best thing I ever did. I'm much happier, more motivated and very calm IRL.

I'm bringing it up because I think it would be perfect for you. Wanting to be hurt isn't necessarily a bad thing (some people just like the feeling) but the way you're going about it is. I mean, it's seriously helped my self-esteem and mental health in general as well as keeping me in great shape and making me much more peaceful.

Obviously I can't force you to give it a go but i'd seriously recommend it. Like I said, best thing i've ever done and I think it would really help you


Maybe you're right. But as I mentioned, I seem to get the satisfaction from doing it to myself specifically. There's just something about bashing myself up and seeing the results. Seeing as I'm pretty physically inactive though, perhaps I should see what some type of sport would do for me. Even though I hate sports and think they're really boring. Oh well

Quote:
Originally Posted by zgr0826
I'm sorry that you're feeling so conflicted, and it's good that you're talking about it. Talking about it goes a long way towards treating it. It may feel so good to you because you may not really feel any strong emotions, and the self-injury may help fill that gap. Regardless, just remember that all of us are here if you need to talk about it.


Thanks dawg. I do feel strong emotions, but at the same time I feel so dead and immobile, so part of the appeal of self-injury is waking and shaking myself up a bit. Hard to explain. :/

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Originally Posted by blake1221
In the posts like I quoted, I feel it undermines any real comfort, and even the ones with advice that use it, I feel it cheapens whatever was said.


It's a gesture of sympathy. Even when nobody knows what advice to give me, it's nice to be acknowledged and know someone out there wishes the best for me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrea55
Anyway, sorry I'm not posting any advice right now but I have just been so stressed with things lately. Not only with school but thinking about my ex. It just bothers me that he never cared, just lied to me and led me along. That's why I needed to leave and sort my life out. I can't help but think about it. Even though I have someone else interested in me now I can't stop thinking about the past. I know I need to let it go but it's just so hard. I guess a hug will help me now and maybe some advice about letting go and to stop thinking about the past.


Stay busy! Never good for your mind to be a slave to thoughts of him, so keep it occupied with other stuff.
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Old 11-14-2011, 06:44 PM   #83
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Originally Posted by T00DEEPBLUE
I can't be put in another class because i'm in uni. My group has been decided and the university is already understaffed as it is. Everyones groups are on a rotar, so if i did move to another group, it would mean that i missed essential practicals that i couldn't do again.

I might try some online tutorials if i have to, but it isn't what i want. It would be easier to understand and be more relevent to my course if i learnt what to do in the labs like everyone else. It is unlikely that an online tutorial would teach me exactly what i needed to know with exactly the right scope of understanding.

The uni have a very strict rule to not move the report outside of the lab. They wouldn't allow me and if i did sneak it out, they would know about it. It is practical work too. Not somthing i can do in my flat on my own.

The best i can do is file a complaint and hope for the best, but even then, what would that achieve?

Everyone else in the class is experiencing the same trouble as you right? Could you try and get together and ask the University to do something about it, or ask the teacher to start writing stuff down?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrea55
Anyway, sorry I'm not posting any advice right now but I have just been so stressed with things lately. Not only with school but thinking about my ex. It just bothers me that he never cared, just lied to me and led me along. That's why I needed to leave and sort my life out. I can't help but think about it. Even though I have someone else interested in me now I can't stop thinking about the past. I know I need to let it go but it's just so hard. I guess a hug will help me now and maybe some advice about letting go and to stop thinking about the past.

There's nothing wrong with contemplating the past but you can't let what happened then rule over you now. If you don't put all you can into the present, you'll just end up regretting it in the future, and then the cycle will just continue.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kbabz22
This situation between me and this girl is that she is the first person to make me genuinly happy since my breakup with my ex and she doesn't feel the same way, it's hitting me pretty hard and all I wanted was a chance with her. But alas it's always the same old story. And the best thing about all of this is that if you were to rewind about 3 days I would have been the happiest person on earth. All this shit seems to have happened in just one weekend and I can't take it

Just give her some space for a while bro, I guarantee that she'll be happy to still be friends with you at least.

EDIT: ^It's all about consciously replacing your bruising with something else to give you the same rush, fail. It might not be any of the suggestions we gave you, but you've got to keep looking for it. BTW what happened to that guy who you thought was wanting for you to be his project?

Last edited by devourke : 11-14-2011 at 06:48 PM.
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Old 11-14-2011, 06:49 PM   #84
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Originally Posted by fail
Maybe you're right. But as I mentioned, I seem to get the satisfaction from doing it to myself specifically. There's just something about bashing myself up and seeing the results. Seeing as I'm pretty physically inactive though, perhaps I should see what some type of sport would do for me. Even though I hate sports and think they're really boring. Oh well


Well, you know, it can't hurt to give it a go. I mean, doing has really had a very positive effect on me. You may not get the same satisfaction out of it but if you're anything like me you'll become much more peaceful (outside of training of course >_>) and not want to do that sort of thing anymore. Also, you know, it's a lot of fun

Not forcing you of course but i'd really recommend that over anything else. Team sports are meh, it's difficult to see yourself develop personally in them... but you know, different strokes.
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all hail king of the penis sucking(i said balls. you said dick for some reason?) Isabiggles
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Old 11-14-2011, 06:58 PM   #85
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Quote:
Originally Posted by devourke
Just give her some space for a while bro, I guarantee that she'll be happy to still be friends with you at least.

Just seems like everything is falling apart in my life right now and I'm getting more and more lonely with each day that goes by.. I hope things start to look up again soon
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Old 11-14-2011, 07:00 PM   #86
Blackwaterson89
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Sorry I have missed some of your guys post, I will try to get to them after class when I have a moment to sit down.
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Old 11-14-2011, 07:03 PM   #87
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kbabz22
Just seems like everything is falling apart in my life right now and I'm getting more and more lonely with each day that goes by.. I hope things start to look up again soon

It'll all be ok bro. Just do some of the things you love and enjoy yourself until it blows over.
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Old 11-14-2011, 07:20 PM   #88
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrea55
Thanks Mac, Ziggy and behind-you.

Your kind words are too much that I ask for and it really helps. I'll make sure to take all of your advice. Thank you again.


No problem Andrea. I like helping people, and I especially like helping people who truly need it.
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Old 11-14-2011, 07:37 PM   #89
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You're welcome, Andrea.

@devourke

Everyone's had problems with that guy. Nobody has acted on it yet. Frankly, i don't think they care. If i can get a hold of a few people in the group that do, i'll mention it to my tutor.
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Old 11-14-2011, 07:38 PM   #90
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Quote:
Originally Posted by devourke
EDIT: ^It's all about consciously replacing your bruising with something else to give you the same rush, fail. It might not be any of the suggestions we gave you, but you've got to keep looking for it. BTW what happened to that guy who you thought was wanting for you to be his project?


Oh, he's eased off a bit since finding a new interest. "Nice guys" are so full of shit

Quote:
Originally Posted by isabiggles
Well, you know, it can't hurt to give it a go. I mean, doing has really had a very positive effect on me. You may not get the same satisfaction out of it but if you're anything like me you'll become much more peaceful (outside of training of course >_>) and not want to do that sort of thing anymore. Also, you know, it's a lot of fun

Not forcing you of course but i'd really recommend that over anything else. Team sports are meh, it's difficult to see yourself develop personally in them... but you know, different strokes.


Can't hurt to try, I guess. I should probably start getting myself in shape for that kind of thing now...
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Old 11-14-2011, 07:47 PM   #91
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Stressed. Check RT for issue. Could use hugs.

Happy new thread guys
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Old 11-14-2011, 07:59 PM   #92
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Quote:
Originally Posted by T00DEEPBLUE
You're welcome, Andrea.

@devourke

Everyone's had problems with that guy. Nobody has acted on it yet. Frankly, i don't think they care. If i can get a hold of a few people in the group that do, i'll mention it to my tutor.

You should report back after you do that.
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Old 11-14-2011, 08:14 PM   #93
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mtshark
I'm stuck in a not so great situation... My girlfriend and I (16 and 18 respectively) have been dating for a little over a year. I'm her first boyfriend, and she is pretty into me, just a bit more than I would like. She's very affectionate and rather romantic. She also doesn't have the greatest family life, which puts a little more pressure on me than normal.

On the other hand, there is my mother who has taken note of some of this, and after voicing my concerns to her, has decided that we are too far into it. Ideally: she wants us to break up (even though she won't say it) but also realizes her needs. I love my girlfriend, and want the best for both of us, no matter what that means, but right now, I feel bringing this up would be like betraying her. Help?

Add/edit: This was all brought up again today when I asked my mom if I could go to my gf's counselor to voice some of my concerns for her in order to try to help out. (She's a rather emotionally unstable. My mom said that going would only "suck me in more" and that I shouldn't be looking for a long term relationship with a girl with her sort of problems.

Sounds like your mom is being a bit too involved if you ask me. IMO i think your relationship should be between you and your girl. Do what you think is right, and if that means a long term relationship, then go for it.
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Hugging Thread; I'm here to help


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Another uninnocent, elegant fall
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Old 11-14-2011, 08:55 PM   #94
Blackwaterson89
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Mtshark, when I get home I will give some advice. I was in this same situation before. I am still in class and posted from my blackberry.

I am actually little worried about wielding class. I am sort of behind and there is only 3 weeks left of it. I thought I had more time but the semster is creeping to an end.
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Last edited by Blackwaterson89 : 11-14-2011 at 08:56 PM.
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Old 11-14-2011, 09:07 PM   #95
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I forget what this thread is about....

but right now me and my gf of two years are going through a tough time....we might not make it much longer....and i am depressed about other stuff...i was kicked out of my smart kid school last year....and i ahte myself....can i has a hug?
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Old 11-14-2011, 09:21 PM   #96
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You can always has hugs
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Old 11-14-2011, 10:55 PM   #97
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mtshark
I'm stuck in a not so great situation... My girlfriend and I (16 and 18 respectively) have been dating for a little over a year. I'm her first boyfriend, and she is pretty into me, just a bit more than I would like. She's very affectionate and rather romantic. She also doesn't have the greatest family life, which puts a little more pressure on me than normal.

On the other hand, there is my mother who has taken note of some of this, and after voicing my concerns to her, has decided that we are too far into it. Ideally: she wants us to break up (even though she won't say it) but also realizes her needs. I love my girlfriend, and want the best for both of us, no matter what that means, but right now, I feel bringing this up would be like betraying her. Help?

Add/edit: This was all brought up again today when I asked my mom if I could go to my gf's counselor to voice some of my concerns for her in order to try to help out. (She's a rather emotionally unstable. My mom said that going would only "suck me in more" and that I shouldn't be looking for a long term relationship with a girl with her sort of problems.


I have been in your situation before. Here is the deal on this. Your mother has right to be little concern here. She is just looking out for your best interest. That's doesn't matter here though. Neither does your girlfriend. What matters here is you and how it is affecting you. If you can stay level head,calm, and collected then you can handle this relationship. If you can't and if it starting affected your everyday affairs and how you react then it's time to walk away. You aren't married and not in a committed long term relationship. You can step away at any time remember that. If you can handle it and stay normal/sane then get it a shot. If you can't handle it walk away or be very cautionary when taking steps with her. If causing unnecessary grief, don't stay in it. Remember your own being comes first.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kbabz22
I got my mum pressuring me into getting a job but no where will even give me a ****in interview, I got my teacher telling me to spend more time in the computer labs out of lesson. My mind wont stop ****ing thinking about Cassie.

I don't have enough time to sort out all of these ****in problems and I can't talk to anyone about it because I'm afraid that if I do I'll just get called a freak by everyone and shunned

So instead everyday I go in, fake a smile throughout the day to keep the questions away, pretend to be happy, keep myself caffined up so I can actually pretend to be happy when I'm not

Im too scared to talk to anyone about this and the only other person I thought I could talk to about this stuff probably wont even want to talk to me anymore because I decided it would be a great ****in idea to ask her out on a date


So I ask of you hugging thread can you please help me

http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/...n89/blog/86797/
Also the more professional you look when you go apply for jobs and interviews, the better chance you have getting a job. When youre off the clock and hanging out be yourself, but look professional when you are doing a job.
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But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

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Old 11-15-2011, 01:31 AM   #98
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Originally Posted by T00DEEPBLUE



Have one on me, man.

I hope everything works out. I'm depressed too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by devourke
Y u feel self loathing?

Thanks

I just feel like I shouldn't even be alive. I'm a terrible musician, terrible writer, terrible friend, terrible son, terrible lover, can't get a job, can't go to Uni etc etc. I know I'm a waste of space, and I feel bad about feeling that. Barely anything can get me to smile anymore. I seem to say and do the opposite of what my brain tells my body. What's worse is that I'm not a loner. I've got friends and family who care about me, so I feel like I'm trapped here cause anything I do to hurt myself will hurt them 5x than it will me. And I love them a lot but at the same time I sometimes wish they'd go away and let me die in peace. I'm leaving to go to a place that I don't like before the end of November and I feel like I won't get to give a proper goodbye to my friends. I may hate on Dubai a lot, but all my friends are here which makes it 10x more important than any other place. Then there's the issue with my mom spending about $1000 to get my dad out on bail, a man who I loathe, and he gets out tomorrow. I can't even get booze in the house anymore because she'll start bitching about it. I feel like I felt at the start of this year, like everything's falling apart and I've got front seat tickets. I can't change anything but I can just watch as everyone makes huge decisions for me because I'm not "old enough" or "mature enough" to. Which is total bullshit, because if it weren't for me my mom and I would be on the streets. If it weren't for me she wouldn't have the cash to bail out that dipshit. But no, I can't be counted as an adult...and oh wait, I'm not really a ****ing child either?

Half the people around me are insane man.
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Old 11-15-2011, 01:38 AM   #99
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Originally Posted by ali.guitarkid7
Thanks

I just feel like I shouldn't even be alive. I'm a terrible musician, terrible writer, terrible friend, terrible son, terrible lover, can't get a job, can't go to Uni etc etc. I know I'm a waste of space, and I feel bad about feeling that. Barely anything can get me to smile anymore. I seem to say and do the opposite of what my brain tells my body. What's worse is that I'm not a loner. I've got friends and family who care about me, so I feel like I'm trapped here cause anything I do to hurt myself will hurt them 5x than it will me. And I love them a lot but at the same time I sometimes wish they'd go away and let me die in peace. I'm leaving to go to a place that I don't like before the end of November and I feel like I won't get to give a proper goodbye to my friends. I may hate on Dubai a lot, but all my friends are here which makes it 10x more important than any other place. Then there's the issue with my mom spending about $1000 to get my dad out on bail, a man who I loathe, and he gets out tomorrow. I can't even get booze in the house anymore because she'll start bitching about it. I feel like I felt at the start of this year, like everything's falling apart and I've got front seat tickets. I can't change anything but I can just watch as everyone makes huge decisions for me because I'm not "old enough" or "mature enough" to. Which is total bullshit, because if it weren't for me my mom and I would be on the streets. If it weren't for me she wouldn't have the cash to bail out that dipshit. But no, I can't be counted as an adult...and oh wait, I'm not really a ****ing child either?

Half the people around me are insane man.

That sucks bro. Maybe you should just try being selfish and lean on your friends more more, because they obviously care enough that they won't mind. That sucks about your Mum as well, why was your Dad in jail? And where are you moving to?
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Old 11-15-2011, 01:46 AM   #100
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Originally Posted by devourke
That sucks bro. Maybe you should just try being selfish and lean on your friends more more, because they obviously care enough that they won't mind. That sucks about your Mum as well, why was your Dad in jail? And where are you moving to?

Yeah I tried. My friend and I came up with this idea that I should crash at his place until a week after new year's. But his stepdad would never let me do that since he's got this whole "it's my house and he's not family" ideal. Which is only right, I have no business butting in there in the first place and he's only looking out for everyone. My dad was in jail over credit card debts, which he paid for by taking out credit card debts, rinse, repeat. Then he went ahead and borrowed money from a powerful family here (And he wasn't borrowing small amounts either, I think the grand total was something around $2 million...). So yeah, that'll get you a free room in jail anywhere.

We're moving to Syria.

EDIT: By the way, I'm sorry about being such a bummer at the start of the thread guys I don't mean to.
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Last edited by ali.guitarkid7 : 11-15-2011 at 02:02 AM.
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