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Old 01-19-2012, 08:01 PM   #1
Life Is Brutal
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Anomie (Tech Death) C4C

Its been awhile since I've posted a piece, so here's a complete version of a stub I posted awhile back.

In order to give the song a bit of an image, here are some definitions of Anomie.

Quote:
Anomie - The breakdown of social bonds between an individual and their community ties, with fragmentation of social identity and rejection of self-regulatory values.

Also possibly defined as; Personal unrest, alienation, and uncertainty that comes from a lack of purpose or ideals.


The song contains a lot of dissonance, with harmonies involving Seconds, Sevenths, and Ninths, along with chromatic movement. I'm quite proud that I was able to coherently contain everything.

So... Yeah.

C4C as always, and I'll gladly crit back on any and all pieces.
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File Type: gp5 Anomie.gp5 (96.6 KB, 213 views)
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Old 01-20-2012, 02:37 AM   #2
HaydenHohns
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Returning crit. By the sounds of things, the subject matter is definitely something I can relate to. Is this going to have vocals BTW?

Anyway, I've already notice a problem and that is since I've been critting your pieces, I'm pretty sure every piece has been at 120bpm. That needs to change if you want a diverse Tech Death album. 144bpm is a fun tempo to play around with IMO.

Bars (1-4): Already digging the chordal harmonisation. Next one should incorporate polytonal polychords. That would be insane.
Bars (5-11): This reminds me of Morbid Angel and Blotted Science combined... That's a really good thing. It matches the content IMO.
Bars (12-17): Cool transition at the beginning. Reminds me of Machine Head's "This Is The End" and Blotted Science combined. Also very good.
Bars (18-25): I think some dissonant lead guitars or arpeggiation (Clean guitar) would work well here.
Bars (26-36): Cool bass line. I think the final hat accent should be pronounced by including a crescendo on the snare for the percussion. A cross-fade would work well here (34-36). Have the distorted guitar fade out while the clean guitars fade in if you're not sure.
Bars (37-40): Good to see the intro back again.
Bars (41-56): This reminds me of "Flesh and The Power It Holds" by Death. Tonally this piece has Ron Jarzombek all over it but I like how their are some subtle influences of other bands.
Bars (57-60): No complaints.
Bars (61-69): I really thing there needs to be a distorted rhythm here in addition to more chaotic percussion. It sounded like the kit was about to lead us into an epic section before but it went nowhere.
Bars (70-79): I like the syncopation. Although I'm questioning the direction of this section. I think if the last section was more chaotic, this section would be more fitting.
Bars (80-91): Love this section. The dissonance is very fitting.
Bars (92-98): I think there should be a Phrygian Dominant modulation on this instead of what you have now. I think it would give the listener a small reprieve before smashing them in the head with utter chaos after.
Bars (99-130): The last couple of bars should have a slight crescendo to signal the finale. Otherwise it's the same as before.

Overall I think you have a pretty mean piece here that brings to mind many vintage and modern Death Metal bands. A few tweaks here and there and she's ready to record (IMO).
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Old 01-20-2012, 02:37 PM   #3
Life Is Brutal
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Wow, big crit. Guess I'll have to do a thorough one on yours.

The song would most likely have some vocals, although none are written.

I use 120 because thats actually the BPM I'm most comfortable to play at, and can be pushed into double time for a 240BPM equivalent. Also, 120BPM is divisible into seconds per beat and gives a fairly clear division. That said, I should probably change up my tempo a bit.

The first clean section would be a fade in/Fade out, should've mentioned it, but I use Tux Guitar and save them as GP, and TG doesn't have a fade out function. I could probably add some crescendo dynamics from ppp to f to substitute.

Quote:
Bars (57-60): No complaints.


I likah dah bass solo.

About bars 92-98, I had to find some way how to structure the song, and I figured a reprisal could work well. But, from all the previous stuff to that point, I had modulated too far from the original key, and I figured that this section would work as its based off of the intro slightly.
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Old 01-20-2012, 05:11 PM   #4
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Loving the intro. The first riff is pretty awesome, loving the fretless bass. The riff at 12 is insane, loving the independence of both guitars, they seem to complement themselves pretty nicely, and remind of early At The Gates. The bass solo at 26 is sweet. Liking the return of the unsetling acoustic chords from the intro in the next solo. Loving the overall weird and dissonant aspect of the guitar solo (don't know any theory, so sorry if I sound goofy ). The bass solo is pretty tastefull, and the next harmonized lead is pretty nice. "Hollow" section comes next, with again some weird acoustic riffing, liking the chromatism and dissonance. The next "Dischord" section is pretty awesome. Liking the "Segue" section and it's neoclassic sound.
A return to the first couple of riffs, doesn't sound repetitive at all. This really reminds me of a less blast-beat friendly Obscura, especially the fretless bass usage. It ends with a ring out, and it sounds apropriate. Overall, really liking the overall haunting atmosphere of it, and the fact that you just decided to implement certain theory aspects into a piece that doesn't sound forced or like an exercise at all. I wish I knew any theory goddarnet . 9/10.
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Old 01-20-2012, 06:46 PM   #5
HaydenHohns
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We'll just call it even because I've owed you on the last couple. When I first heard bar 92 I was expecting Phrygian Dominant. Just give it a try anyway. You might like it.
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Old 01-24-2012, 10:45 PM   #6
randyaintdead82
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I like the atmosphere, it brings a lot. That first riff sounds really cool and that midi effect makes it sound industrial (if that whats you are going for) which makes the build up into that first riff even cooler. Overall, I find the use of what I consider minimalism really great and how you sort of create riffs and bring back parts of them later on. Nice job! And thanks for reviewing my piece as well!
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Old 01-26-2012, 06:42 PM   #7
frankibo
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The tritone intro is very creepy.
The next distorted part is very droning, no change from 8th notes and it makes it feel like it's dragging along. Drums make little sense here too, just random cymbal hits.
No idea what a Minor 9th harmony is but it scares me! Strange drums again, apart from the blast beats I'm not really sure what's going on.
Another droning 8th note section with odd drums. I feel like something here needs to be adding to make it more interesting, just change the note durations or something.
Love the bass break, worked nicely, quite like the snare drumming here.
Another creepy clean section, enjoying the lead too.
When both leads come in.. a massive wtf moment in my head. Just sounds so weird. It's cool though.
Loving hollow, this is my favourite part so far. This scale works best in a creepy, atmospheric clean section, I'm not fond of the distorted sections.
Saying that I quite like the distorted Segue that follows.
It's the Anomie section that I don't like, I just find it boring.
I like that bass bit for the outro, works nicely.
Very strange song, this scale is just weird. Drum work could do with improving a lot, would make the piece vastly better. A little editing of the Anomie section which makes it less predictable would fix my only other qualm.
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Old 01-26-2012, 10:11 PM   #8
Garb
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Well. Here's the one constructive thing I have to say:
Measures 34-36 really could use a fade. ;]
Oh, and also, like has been said.. Drums could use some work.. But I'm guessing you're primarily a guitarist, so that doesn't really matter.

Other than that, it was pretty good. I didn't like how.... slow... it was, though. The whole song is almost nothing but 1/8 notes, and the tempo is moderate. But that doesn't make it a bad song by any means.

The whole time I was like "This sounds like Obscura meets The Faceless," and then I looked at your location and as like ":O". So I sped it up to like 192 and it sounded techy as hell. lol

Anyway, good song! Sorry I didn't have anything more helpful to say.
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Old 01-27-2012, 01:18 AM   #9
Life Is Brutal
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Garb
Other than that, it was pretty good. I didn't like how.... slow... it was, though. The whole song is almost nothing but 1/8 notes, and the tempo is moderate. But that doesn't make it a bad song by any means.

The whole time I was like "This sounds like Obscura meets The Faceless," and then I looked at your location and as like ":O". So I sped it up to like 192 and it sounded techy as hell.


Lol, implying that speed is what makes something technical.


The idea behind it was to portray it's name, and I feel that I've accomplished that to some degree. I feel that the tempo only contributes to it.

Thanks for the crits guys! For any lurkers, I WILL give out crits if you stop by for a comment or something.
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Old 01-27-2012, 03:40 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Life Is Brutal
Lol, implying that speed is what makes something technical.


The idea behind it was to portray it's name, and I feel that I've accomplished that to some degree. I feel that the tempo only contributes to it.

Thanks for the crits guys! For any lurkers, I WILL give out crits if you stop by for a comment or something.


It's just something about that constant note duration and slow tempo which begins to grate a bit, it just needs something in there to spice it up about before it goes back to the 8th notes. A little 16th note lick, a trill, a 16th note drum fill, anything really.
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Old 01-27-2012, 03:40 AM   #11
Garb
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Life Is Brutal
Lol, implying that speed is what makes something technical.


The idea behind it was to portray it's name, and I feel that I've accomplished that to some degree. I feel that the tempo only contributes to it.

Thanks for the crits guys! For any lurkers, I WILL give out crits if you stop by for a comment or something.

Eh. I just said techy, as in technical death metal, which is almost always fast (in my experience). ;]

It did do its job well. Like I said, I wasn't saying it was a bad thing at all. Just giving personal input. :p And also what he ^ said about it a little bit as well. ;p

Last edited by Garb : 01-27-2012 at 03:44 AM.
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