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Old 02-07-2012, 12:19 PM   #1
MobiuZ
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In Flanders Fields - GPX + MP3( Epic Heavy Metal )

Heres a new song that ive been working on for a full month now , im really happy with how it turned out , its written in Dropped E.

Its a song about WW1 mostly from the perspective of a soldier living his life on the frontline

this is also my first attempt of writing lyrics to a song , alltough im not done with it and ill update it as i write new stuff for it so id like to know what you guys think of it .

Enjoy. C4C


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

( Verse ) 0:16

In Flanders fields where the poppies blow
Between the crosses high, row on row
That mark our place; and in the sky the larks
still bravely singing, fly Scarce heard

amid the guns below.
We are the dead. Short days ago
We lived, and saw the sunset glow , along the lines
In Flanders fields.


( Verse 2 ) 1:05

Take up our quarrel with the foe
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die


( Verse 3 ) 1:23

And if he gets to heaven,
To Saint Peter he will tell,
One more soldier reporting sir,
Ive served my time in Hell.

Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields we die


( Verse 4 ) 1:52

Now Let me take you back to that time and place
A time of endless killing , a world in disgrace

Where many gave there lives so we can be free
o whas it all for nothing , o please god tell me


( Break ) 2:11

Why !!


( Verse 5 ) 2:19

living on the frontline , say a prayer before we die
Bloated war-torn bodies , lie dead beneath the mud and rain

mustard gas and wailing shells , even trenchfoot takes its toll
innocence is hard to find , o please take me home


( Chorus ) 2:34

So it begins , All hell breaks loose
The charge has commenced , In the face of despair

Death claims the land , and smoke fills the sky
Let there be light , In these darkest of days


( Chorus ) 3:18

Into the fray , the trench filled with blood
Over the wall , and we crawl through the mud

Please take me home , to the place i belong
In flanders fields where we will die , i sigh and wonder why


( Verse 6 ) 3:56

As the sun comes up in the east
And the days go by , just like the breeze
Where my road will go , i dont know

All i know is that i must go
and fight , and charge , one last

( Bridge ) 4:20

Time

( Chorus ) 4:58

I see my friends die , and i hope they will find
The peace and the love from the heavens above

My time has come , and im ready to die
Soon ill go home , to the place i belong

I fall on my knees , and i burst into tears
With a pain in my chest , and the blood on my hands

I gaze up to the sky , and i say my goodbye
as i sink into the mud , i hear the angels cry

( Outro )

?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In Flanders Fields For NON GPX Users
Attached Files
File Type: zip In Flanders Fields.zip (67.7 KB, 462 views)

Last edited by MobiuZ : 08-11-2012 at 02:09 PM.
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Old 02-07-2012, 01:48 PM   #2
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A lot of people are going to have problems with that gpx file.

EDIT: like me
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Old 02-07-2012, 02:07 PM   #3
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No problems with gpx files here.

This is really good though, you really get a feeling of a war or a battle from the overall sound of it. The chorus riff is paticularly interesting, thats a cool dorian-esque chord change, it adds to the battle sound. It would be cool if you could put the vocal melody though, I was wondering how the lyrics would fit in to it. And the drop E tuning is an interesting choice, why did you choose to make the song in that tuning?
But its a really cool song overall, its nice to see different kinds of music being written on here other than prog/tech/black metal lol.
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Old 02-07-2012, 03:35 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Emperor's Child
A lot of people are going to have problems with that gpx file.

EDIT: like me


For those who dont have GP 6 can download the mp3 in the link in my opening post

Quote:
Originally Posted by davyyy
No problems with gpx files here.

This is really good though, you really get a feeling of a war or a battle from the overall sound of it. The chorus riff is paticularly interesting, thats a cool dorian-esque chord change, it adds to the battle sound. It would be cool if you could put the vocal melody though, I was wondering how the lyrics would fit in to it. And the drop E tuning is an interesting choice, why did you choose to make the song in that tuning?
But its a really cool song overall, its nice to see different kinds of music being written on here other than prog/tech/black metal lol.


i find the vocal melody/timing extremely hard to do for some reason so this is basically all i can show as far as lyrics go

and i chose the tuning because i wanted to try something different and i stumbled on some nice chord combinations so i decided to write a song in Dropped E

i might write everyting in Dropped E from now on as i really like the cinda sound it has

Last edited by MobiuZ : 02-07-2012 at 03:50 PM.
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Old 02-13-2012, 09:49 AM   #5
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Bump . since no one is returning crits -_-
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Old 02-13-2012, 12:04 PM   #6
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You're using a lesser used (And seemingly inferior) Version of GP, and no one really wants to listen to just MIDI/MP3.

Dude, I'm having trouble even getting the MP3, thats probably why you're not getting any crits.

Yeah, I can't figure this thing out.
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Last edited by Life Is Brutal : 02-13-2012 at 12:06 PM.
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Old 02-13-2012, 03:26 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MobiuZ
Bump . since no one is returning crits -_-
Yeah, I have done crits for at least 5 people who haven't returned crits, even when they have C4C in the OP or title.



EDIT: I'm too lazy to download stuff but it's definitely not just you, and if people have problems with it they should have the courtesy to say so.
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Last edited by Emperor's Child : 02-13-2012 at 03:28 PM.
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Old 02-14-2012, 02:33 AM   #8
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mp3 link wont work for me either, sorry
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Old 02-14-2012, 09:56 AM   #9
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you should scroll down once clicked on the link and select slow download on the bottom right ( scroll down on the download page ) i dont get how its not working :S someone please reply if this works or not ty.
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Old 02-14-2012, 02:31 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by MobiuZ
you should scroll down once clicked on the link and select slow download on the bottom right ( scroll down on the download page ) i dont get how its not working :S someone please reply if this works or not ty.


I did, and the DL still wouldn't work.

How about this, I'll give you some crit advice when reviewing your own works.

Analyze if its any good fundamentally. Essentially, if someone who had never heard this kind of music before, if they could appreciate it on some aspect.

Then, analyze the theory behind it if possible, and make sure everything adds up in a theoretical sense. It doesn't have to make "Sense" Necessarily, but everything should add up. This also applies to the "Flow" of a song, if the theory doesn't correspond correctly, chances are something will sound strange/off putting.

Obviously you're allowed to break theory however you see fit, but its a good way to objectively view the sound.
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Old 02-14-2012, 07:00 PM   #11
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Ok changed the host location , download should work as intented now , if theres still any problems downloading the file please let me know !
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Old 02-15-2012, 08:12 PM   #12
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Ok, listened to the MP3 file (obviously works then)

Clean intro, no complaints here other than maybe the acoustic guitar is a little distracting from the rest of the piece.

Starting at 0:54, wasn't sure about this at first but changed my mind when 1:04 kicked in, and moreso when the strings entered. I'm not sure about the transition into this section but the piece itself is rather nice. Guitar kicks in and the piece builds up - no complaints here either.

Not sure about the transition at 2:10, either, but again this section was also rather good, although it really started to shine at 2:34 - I can feel the "epic" now. Solo comes in, a good move.

quieter section is a better transition than the earlier ones, and generally good tbh. Maybe the build up could lead to something more but the outro is also good.

So really, the main issue (imo) is some of the transitions. That said, I'd really like to see a tab of this now. The acoustic-y parts especially keep me interested.

So... C4C?
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1516733
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Old 02-16-2012, 01:50 AM   #13
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I liked this, especially chorus riff, it is awesome, and I like the way your distortion sounds in gp6.
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Old 02-17-2012, 02:52 PM   #14
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I like the general feel that I'm getting from this song. And the song is great overall, so I'll just write the things which I don't like.

The string stay there too long in the first time they're in. It'd be better if they would stop when the distortion ends. But they don't feel that useless at the outro. I too have noticed that something's on with the transitions; but nothing major.

The lyrics are also great so all I've got left to say is good job!
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Old 02-20-2012, 10:07 AM   #15
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Intro is quite nice, fades in gently. Starting at bar 30 it starts to get that epic feel to it. Very cool when the distortion guitars come in, nice riff! Chorus is excellent, pretty epic again and feel a slight folk metal feel to to the song. Like the bridge as well, all the different sections fit together well. Outro is quite nice as well. Overall, I think it's excellent; some good ideas and all put together with some skill.

C4C?
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1520851
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Old 02-21-2012, 04:49 PM   #16
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This sounds so... like... 70s-90s? I love it. The riffage that I would do with that alternating picking on the two note chord.... You make it perfect for this track. (STarting at 8). GP6 is lame. But you do good with it. 30 is something I would write.and that melody you put in at 38 is like ~~~ if you get my drift. Verse 3 is BADDD. Dude. I could imagine like the most amazing high notes right here. It's like ~~~ ;D. the recurring melody after that verse is bad too. It's still keeping it fresh too, which is just what I'm lookin' for! Break definitely feels like 70s-90s... DUnno why dude. Don't ask me. But it is. OKAY? I see "Chorus," and I'm already excited. Here it comes... :3 Yeah, you hit the spot with it man. Solo... Let's hear it. AT this point, I feel "Green Grass and High Tides." lol. or Skynyrd. Any inspiration? Maybe that's what it is dude. lol. and the Chorus with the recurring melody is jizztastic dude. ahmg. That Break freshens the whole song up too! I like fresh. if it wasn't fresh... what would it be? Gotta be honest though.. Skipped over that bridge, didn't like it. <;| Sorry. 203 was a great way to start ending the song. The drums aren't bland even though they're just ti-ti-ti-ST. I like it. Good / great song. The bridge. I just had a problem with near the end dude. 8.5/10

Crit4Crit? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru....php?p=29181600
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Old 02-21-2012, 06:53 PM   #17
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Hey man, I listened to it in Gp6.

I'm.. very impressed. Loved it, really. The entire tune has a very special ambiance, feeling, whatever you want to call it. Really liked it. The chorus is really nice, really got my heart pounding faster. I never really listened to Iron Maiden, but this song still reminds me of that band, haha.

Also, your tab is the first tab that actually makes GP6 shine. Until now, I always regarded it as a sort of bull**** version of GP5.

Oh, and I live very close to Flanders. Probably half a mile or so. Edit: Could be Wallonia (is that what it is called in English?) as well, I am blissfully unaware of where Flanders ends and Wallonia begins. Shame on me!

I just noticed it's you again MobiuZ. I really like your style of songwriting, haha. Let me know if you ever get to recording something! I've got something for you to check out: my latest song. In midi, haha.

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1521308

God, second edit, I'll stop now, promise.

And if he gets to heaven,
To Saint Peter he will tell,
One more soldier reporting sir,
Ive served my time in Hell.

Where's this from? I'm pretty sure I heard/read this before somewhere.... Is it from a video game, by any chance?
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Old 02-21-2012, 07:14 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TehDutchDude
Hey man, I listened to it in Gp6.

I'm.. very impressed. Loved it, really. The entire tune has a very special ambiance, feeling, whatever you want to call it. Really liked it. The chorus is really nice, really got my heart pounding faster. I never really listened to Iron Maiden, but this song still reminds me of that band, haha.

Also, your tab is the first tab that actually makes GP6 shine. Until now, I always regarded it as a sort of bull**** version of GP5.

Oh, and I live very close to Flanders. Probably half a mile or so. Edit: Could be Wallonia (is that what it is called in English?) as well, I am blissfully unaware of where Flanders ends and Wallonia begins. Shame on me!

I just noticed it's you again MobiuZ. I really like your style of songwriting, haha. Let me know if you ever get to recording something! I've got something for you to check out: my latest song. In midi, haha.

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1521308

God, second edit, I'll stop now, promise.

And if he gets to heaven,
To Saint Peter he will tell,
One more soldier reporting sir,
Ive served my time in Hell.

Where's this from? I'm pretty sure I heard/read this before somewhere.... Is it from a video game, by any chance?


hey man how you been thx a lot for all the praise on my song

and yes it might be familiar to you as the first part of the lyrics are from a WW1 poem wich inspired me in the first place to write a song about it ( In Flanders Field Poem ) allthough i slightly edited it to my own taste.

and ill check out your song tomorrow

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rokkstar
This sounds so... like... 70s-90s? I love it. The riffage that I would do with that alternating picking on the two note chord.... You make it perfect for this track. (STarting at 8). GP6 is lame. But you do good with it. 30 is something I would write.and that melody you put in at 38 is like ~~~ if you get my drift. Verse 3 is BADDD. Dude. I could imagine like the most amazing high notes right here. It's like ~~~ ;D. the recurring melody after that verse is bad too. It's still keeping it fresh too, which is just what I'm lookin' for! Break definitely feels like 70s-90s... DUnno why dude. Don't ask me. But it is. OKAY? I see "Chorus," and I'm already excited. Here it comes... :3 Yeah, you hit the spot with it man. Solo... Let's hear it. AT this point, I feel "Green Grass and High Tides." lol. or Skynyrd. Any inspiration? Maybe that's what it is dude. lol. and the Chorus with the recurring melody is jizztastic dude. ahmg. That Break freshens the whole song up too! I like fresh. if it wasn't fresh... what would it be? Gotta be honest though.. Skipped over that bridge, didn't like it. <;| Sorry. 203 was a great way to start ending the song. The drums aren't bland even though they're just ti-ti-ti-ST. I like it. Good / great song. The bridge. I just had a problem with near the end dude. 8.5/10

Crit4Crit? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru....php?p=29181600


thx a lot man , and yes i do like me some skynyrd i listen to a lot of different music ( bob marley , infected mushroom , soilwork , maiden , skynyrd ) and a erything in between so yeah i draw inspiration from a lot of different styles/bands

Last edited by MobiuZ : 02-21-2012 at 08:05 PM.
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Old 02-21-2012, 08:18 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MobiuZ
hey man how you been thx a lot for all the praise on my song

and yes it might be familiar to you as the first part of the lyrics are from a WW1 poem wich inspired me in the first place to write a song about it ( In Flanders Field Poem ) allthough i slightly edited it to my own taste.

and ill check out your song tomorrow


Thanks. Cool that you used an actual poem for this project, I think it worked out great! Still, that poem was featured in some sort of video game some time ago.... Dang, I just can't recall which game it is! Hate that feeling xD I've been great, becoming more and more addicted to guitar as the days pass... haha.
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Old 02-27-2012, 03:53 PM   #20
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Well, I can't open the GPX, and I can't get the thing to download... Freezes at 15seconds for me..

:/
Sorry bruh.

You should be able to export the GP file as GP5 and/or 4, though... That might just be the easiest solution.
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