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Old 03-15-2012, 03:14 AM   #21
RedDeath9
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Writing bros. Slightly drunk but I think that helps the situation.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnEvilWalrus
He's a cynical angsty teenager and he also has a crazy dreamworld thing going on. Sorry, just reminded me of it


That's pretty cool, actually.
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Old 03-15-2012, 03:43 AM   #22
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A) Watch porn and fap while eating cereal.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Today was a good day. Simon could tell by the fact that his dick got hard when he thought about ****ing his cereal. So almondy and wet. Almonds are healthy. He seriously needed to fap. And quickly.

He shuffled quickly upstairs to his room and opened his laptop quickly. Two tabs were already open in Chrome - UG and ****youidon'twanttobebanned.com. **** you that's not a direct link I can't get in trouble for that. Just in case, don't ****ing click it, or go there, because it's bad. Immoral and such. Simon opened the xvideos tab and clicked "Favorites." A list of amateur videos opened up before him, beckoning his pleasure. Amateur was much more enjoyable. Even if the girls were being taken advantage of half the time, their trust broken by ex-boyfriends... Who gives a **** anyways? Who knows, maybe some of the girls are breaking the ex-boyfriend's trust. No. That's stupid.

Simon clicked without thinking on the first video he saw. HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO EAT CEREAL WHILE DOING THIS? He had forgotten about the spoon. Then the solution occurred to him, as the video started with a young girl stripping and smiling at the camera. He would put the cereal on the desk, and eat with one hand, and fap with the other. Genius.

He still found it incredibly difficult. The cereal tasted good. The girl tasted like almonds. Damn, that guy's dick is pretty big. Who thought of these thin-sliced almonds anyways? So delicious. Simon's hand pumped up and down. Was this the high point of his day? Cereal and milk spilled onto his hoodie and trickled down to his crotch. Yes. Yes. I could never betray you, Oatmeal Crisp. Simon ignored the video and came to the touch of milky wetness on his crotch. He then cleaned up, filled with regret. The time was 8:40 AM. Did he really just spend twenty-something minutes doing that? ****.

Simon walked out to the bus stop, sufficiently calmed by his morning fap. At the bus stop stood two girls, two guys, who lived nearby. He had never bothered talking to the guys, though they were in his year. The two girls, he had obviously never talked to. One of them, however...

Was so incredibly beautiful, that Simon could barely comprehend how such a magnificent creature could exist in the plane of reality. Framed by long brown hair, her shy, freckled face was set with a sharp nose and soft grey eyes. Her mouth seemed naturally down-turned into a frown. What secrets did that mind hold?... She didn't seem like the other girls at his school, who seemed so preoccupied with pampering their faces with makeup and the like - And why would she need to, anyways? She was beautiful without it.

Simon was sure that, if he ever talked to her, she would end up disappointing him like the rest of humanity. Looks and behavior said nothing about a person. She could be just like the others. She probably wouldn't see anything too special about him, either. It was just the way things worked. Nothing is ever meant to be, it's all just... Randomness. The bus arrived, and the four of them got on the bus. Simon saw an empty spot beside the girl...

----------------------------------------------

A) Sit beside the girl, obviously, and make conversation.
B) Sit in some other spot, and don't say anything.
C) Announce to the bus that you are pregnant with Kanye West's baby.
D) Punch the bus driver in the face and tell him he's a terrible person and a failure as a human being.
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Old 03-15-2012, 03:56 AM   #23
That Old Geezer
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That cereal and fap part.

A.
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Old 03-15-2012, 03:59 AM   #24
soXlittleXtimeX
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A,

because he needs to get laid.
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turn into a TV show.
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Old 03-15-2012, 04:39 AM   #25
GoxGetterxGuy
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Obviously B.
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Old 03-15-2012, 04:45 AM   #26
Dan_5893
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D.
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Old 03-15-2012, 04:48 AM   #27
ErikLensherr
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A, go for it Simon.
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Tfw the woman you love is without her dog and having night terrors and u can't do anything to help her
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Old 03-15-2012, 02:04 PM   #28
RedDeath9
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And A wins. I like how this is turning out. I'll write at around... maybe 7:30 or 8 tonight. Busy with classes in between now and then.
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Old 03-15-2012, 02:06 PM   #29
PowerOfGlove
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have any of you guys seen that clown that hides from virgins?
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Old 03-15-2012, 02:12 PM   #30
slapsymcdougal
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PowerOfGlove
have any of you guys seen that clown that hides from virgins?

We all have, but we understand he hides from you.
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You don't know every cyborg penis or eye type in the world.

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Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'

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Quality polis, MacGregor.

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Originally Posted by thegurfzone
you're winning this argument and i don't like it.
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Old 03-15-2012, 02:15 PM   #31
PowerOfGlove
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slapsymcdougal
We all have, but we understand he hides from you.


lol gay
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Old 03-15-2012, 02:16 PM   #32
slapsymcdougal
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PowerOfGlove
lol gay

You have a problem? I'll give you a reacharound, you know.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GbAdimDb5m7
You don't know every cyborg penis or eye type in the world.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'

Quote:
Originally Posted by PC Toshan
Quality polis, MacGregor.

Quote:
Originally Posted by thegurfzone
you're winning this argument and i don't like it.
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Old 03-15-2012, 02:17 PM   #33
ErikLensherr
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What do you guys think Simon is gonna say? I bet it'll be juuuust right.
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Originally Posted by TunerAddict
Tfw the woman you love is without her dog and having night terrors and u can't do anything to help her
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Old 03-15-2012, 02:18 PM   #34
PowerOfGlove
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slapsymcdougal
You have a problem? I'll give you a reacharound, you know.


no i only do shemales
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Old 03-15-2012, 02:19 PM   #35
slapsymcdougal
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PowerOfGlove
no i only do shemales

You won't be the one doing, if you get my meaning, dearie.
Now grab your ankles and think of Christmas.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GbAdimDb5m7
You don't know every cyborg penis or eye type in the world.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'

Quote:
Originally Posted by PC Toshan
Quality polis, MacGregor.

Quote:
Originally Posted by thegurfzone
you're winning this argument and i don't like it.
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Old 03-15-2012, 02:20 PM   #36
PowerOfGlove
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slapsymcdougal
You won't be the one doing, if you get my meaning, dearie.
Now grab your ankles and think of Christmas.


omg



D:





why god why!?!?!?
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Old 03-15-2012, 08:17 PM   #37
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Oh god this is turning out great

We can experiment with Simon's life in ways we would never do with our own and the story is funny and interesting, let's see what Simon has to say to this girl
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Old 03-15-2012, 08:20 PM   #38
Tanglewoodguit
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Old 03-16-2012, 03:19 AM   #39
RedDeath9
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Hey guys, if you want to start writing for this, just let me know. You'll have to do an audition, by which I mean... Write the next section, post it, and then be judged by the readers and any other writers. We will decide whether or not you are worthy.

Someone is currently writing the next section as an audition. It may up later tonight, or tomorrow sometime.

Readers should sticky this thread.
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Old 03-16-2012, 09:43 AM   #40
Tarbosh
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It seemed as lucky a day as any. In Simon's case, someone who was a bit down on his luck, as it were, this isn't very lucky. Since his childhood, he had gone through disappointment after disappointment. Born gaunt and sickly, he was a fragile, frail thing all throughout his early years; and even now he is not the strongest of them all, physically or emotionally. His mother, a bright, ever-optimistic (sometimes foolishly so), bubbly sort of woman flashed into his head at this moment.

"You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take!"

That was one of those stupid old adages she used to say. She had one of those for every occasion, it seemed. To Simon it was a source of constant groans and sighs, but now that she was gone, he found it to be a source of comfort, remembering the sparkling smile and shining eyes that accompanied them. He patted down his hair, wiped his still milk-encrusted mouth with his shirtsleeve, and approached the beautiful girl in the most relaxed way he could muster, taking the empty seat next to her on the bus.

The girl looked up from her book. "Oh, well hello there." she crooned, with a voice as smooth and silky as the hair that embosomed her attractive features. "Are you ok?"
This isn't really something that most people would say to someone who approaches them. But Simon appeared as though he needed medical attention. He was petrified. What is there to say? The girl looked at him expectantly.

"Uh....yo."

Awkward. So awkward. Not only did he barely choke the word out, but it was just a dumb thing to say. Already he regretted ever approaching the girl. However, to his surprise, she giggled. "Hahaha, yo. What's your name? I'm Melinda." Her mellifluous voice floated through SImon's ears like a drifting feather. Simon looked at her with sullen eyes. "Simon. I've never seen you around here before," he croaked. "Yeah, I just moved here a couple days ago. I'm from Massachusetts," she responded. "Hey, is that Oatmeal Crisp? Part of this balanced breakfast?" She was referring, of course, to the piece of dried-up cereal hanging from Simon's collar.


'Shit, I must not have noticed it before I walked up to her...', he thought to himself. The nervous Simon laughed softly, but in his head he was mortified. He withheld the large lump that had garnered in his throat from descending his gullet. "I like mine with milk and fresh strawberries, I eat it every morning while I'm watching the news," she continued. "How do you like yours?"

Simon remembered back to just a few hours before, eating with one hand and jerking off with the other. He recalled that some of his flyaway jizz had made its way into his mouth while he was still chewing on a bite of the cereal. "I like mine...frosted." he said flatly.

"I like those too!", chirped Melinda.

Simon bends down to tie his shoe. As he does the laces, he notices something horrifying on the girl's leg...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A. A horrible, hairy mole the size of Kansas, a mole that is such a disgustingly putrid brown and with such a fetid stench of necrotic flesh that it makes Simon vomit "frosted" Oatmeal Crisp all over her shoes.
B. A tattoo of a swastika. Not the Buddhist kind.
C. The deformed, one-eyed face of a baby, jutting out of her leg like a knot in a tree. It lets out a thick groan.
D. Cancerous AIDS with maggots and shit.
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