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Old 05-23-2012, 02:52 AM   #1
RAJIV ROCKZ
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Lightbulb A better day (song for peace)

Ok, this is song written by me. Its called A better day. Positive and negative criticizes all are welcome. Just let me know how does it feels????

A BETTER DAY
A new sunrise, frail hopes for a beginning
But itís the same question, ďIs life worth living?Ē
Life is like burning in flames of hell
To save me does God have an angel?

Radios sing of war and blood shed
Fear runs in vein, no place safe for the head
Itís not the world that Iím living for
Cause Iím master of my soul, not a slave for war

It was a question, but now it's a wish
Will the war cease? Will I see peace?
It's the change in us that will light the way
Only then we can hope for a better day.

The world is bathed in the blood of violence
Is there a signal hiding in Godís silence?
I wish when I open my eyes next day
Alien peace to this world has made its way

It was a question, but now itís a wish
Will the war cease? Will I see peace?
Itís the change in us that will light the way
Only then we can hope for a better day.

A new sunrise, frail hopes for a beginning
And itís the same question, ďIs life worth living?Ē
Life is like burning in flames of hell
To save me does God have an angel?
__________________
My Gears:
Ibanez RG370DXZ
Boss ME-25

My Lyrics:
Dream to me
Better Day
There

Last edited by RAJIV ROCKZ : 09-19-2012 at 12:02 AM.
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Old 05-23-2012, 08:02 AM   #2
PMR24
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Nice man. I like these lyrics, they kinda fell in somewhat the same style i write. Good job on this and really good job on the chorus too.
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Old 05-23-2012, 08:35 AM   #3
RAJIV ROCKZ
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by PMR24
Nice man. I like these lyrics, they kinda fell in somewhat the same style i write. Good job on this and really good job on the chorus too.

Thanks for your nice words man... would love to read your songs too...
__________________
My Gears:
Ibanez RG370DXZ
Boss ME-25

My Lyrics:
Dream to me
Better Day
There
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Old 05-23-2012, 02:17 PM   #4
ironicsQuid
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Join Date: May 2012
I liked it but maybe change "does God have an angel" because it feels like a forced rhyme. Also in the 4th stanza in the last line if you removed the word "it's", it'll flow better.
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Old 05-23-2012, 02:44 PM   #5
RAJIV ROCKZ
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by ironicsQuid
I liked it but maybe change "does God have an angel" because it feels like a forced rhyme. Also in the 4th stanza in the last line if you removed the word "it's", it'll flow better.

Thanks for your really valuable suggestions, I will consider that. Will make changes while I scribble them down freshly in my diary... Thanks a lot again.... Cheers!
__________________
My Gears:
Ibanez RG370DXZ
Boss ME-25

My Lyrics:
Dream to me
Better Day
There
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Old 06-02-2012, 01:46 AM   #6
RAJIV ROCKZ
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Thanks every one
__________________
My Gears:
Ibanez RG370DXZ
Boss ME-25

My Lyrics:
Dream to me
Better Day
There

Last edited by RAJIV ROCKZ : 07-08-2012 at 02:58 AM.
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