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Old 07-10-2012, 06:39 AM   #1
January85
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Mirror Lake Valley



Some symphonic metal sorta thing again.

Lyrics:
Down pleading from the mountain passage
Leads an old, crude stairway
Mirror Lake in the open valley
Rests in silent stillness

Leafless birches hush
As he moves down the last stairs
No eyes could see the tension build
When he heads for the bridge across

Soon as the fading evening sun
Bows and paints the landscape in the tones of gold
Inside he can feel the urge to turn his eyes on the surface
He shakes and hurries over to find the nightfall
To where he'll flee and disappear

Last edited by January85 : 10-29-2012 at 03:26 AM.
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Old 10-29-2012, 11:22 PM   #2
TV-Casualty
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Really nice use of texture. Of course the orchestral-synth sounds are a little cheesy, but looking past that, this is great. I don't like to use the word epic very often, but i think this song merits that definition. Very epic
Love the guitar solo as it comes in, nice phrasing. It does seem a bit buried in the mix.


Writing as I listen: I think for me the biggest issue with this piece is pacing. I felt that the acoustic part with the high hat was unnecessary. It felt like you were building the tune to a climax and then just kind of let all the momentum slip away. Then we go back for another distorted guitar solo, which is also nice and sitting better in the mix than the first, but it feels like we've already been here before and are kind of retracing our steps. And then after the 2nd guitar solo we fall back into a quiet interlude to end the tune.

I can definitely respect the passion and attention to detail that writing this kind of music takes, and I do really dig this. The vibe is right on, it puts me right in the middle of mirror lake valley. But I think this'd be really great if you could use some of the momentum that you created to build up to a fantastic, anthemic, melodic chorus that gives us some relief for all that tension, rather than building us up and then letting us down without really resolving the piece.
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Old 10-30-2012, 01:35 AM   #3
XianXiuHong
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Structually, I felt it was really well thought out and the build-up to the first solo is conceptually great but what really bothered me was the instrumental writing in the beginning. You have some good melodic ideas but harmonically, the orchestral instruments sounded quite empty. At the moment, it sounds like you're dabbling a bit on the synth and coming up with a skeleton of what could sound potentially great but the string harmonies are letting you down quite a bit. If you're able to read music, I suggest getting the scores of the simpler Mozart symphonies and looking at how he writes his string parts. They're an excellent starting point for learning how to write/voice in an orchestral setting and the reason behind a lot of the things Mozart does becomes obvious as you study it and the sound it makes.

As for the playing, very tight rhythmically but the mix was a little muddy for my taste. Vocally, the melody was great but the singing put me off a bit, especially in the beginning. Try not to slide in between notes too much as you end up being ever so slightly flat when you do and at times, I felt like it would have sounded much better if you hit the note on the beat instead of sliding up to it.

You've got heaps of potential man, keep it up!

Would you mind giving me a critique?

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...09#post30533109
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Old 11-01-2012, 03:28 AM   #4
Drummerrrrr?
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Firstly, sorry for the super late crit! This piece is very interesting from start to end. I think the start is a bit slow, feels like things only really pick up around the 2:00 mark. I think you could either cut some of the arrangement before this or have a bit more of a drum groove play over the rest of the band to pick up the pace. The build up at 2:25 is great though, the lead work fits very well too. Reminds me a lot of Avenged Sevenfold. 4:11 could do with a bigger build up or be made to be a bit more epic. Maybe cut the arrangement 2 beats or so before it so the it hits harder. You kinda loose me from 5:28 on. That last note of the lead guitar doesn't quite seem big enough and everything after feels like a bit of a different song. I think if you trim a bit of the fat and work on the production, this could be a top track!
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Old 11-01-2012, 05:56 AM   #5
mattmakaha
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overall, I like this!
I think the orchestral samples could be better, it's hard to pull of parts like that unless the samples are really good.
I love the part at ~1:00
I like the build up, but it loses a some momentum at 2:55.
But overall, I like the feel and vibe!
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