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Old 09-05-2012, 03:18 PM   #1
AdamXAddiction
Registered User
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Talking Your Poison

New song my band is recording right now and these are the lyrics I came up, let me know what you think, and what needs improvement.

------------------
Intro:
You'd love to see me drown
It's gonna turn around
The tide is changing now
Your time is running out!

Verse1:
The adrenaline's rushing through my veins
My hands are shaking
With a constant fervor of a murderer
My sweat collides with the blood in your eyes
This look suits you so well
I feel so filthy but I love it this way

Prechorus2:
It's so much fun to see you down so low
I never thought I'd be the one to do so
You scream you beg
For me to let you go
I'm not stopping you
You're free to go

Your Hope is Poison!

Chorus:
I can see the despair in your eyes
Woah oh woah oh
I hope you feel alone tonight
It's all downhill for you my dear

COME ON!

Verse2:
The one and only light in this room is from the moon
pouring in from the half cracked window
I must admit I ithink its better with the lights turned off
I like to be in my element if you catch my drift

Prechorus2:
True beauty lies in the
chaos in my hands
It's like a work of art
you cannot understand
this is all your fault
You pushed me to the edge
Now I will push you off
Can you taste the end?

we got one thing one our minds, its your demise!

Chorus:
I can see the despair in your eyes
Woah oh woah oh
I hope you feel alone tonight
It's all downhill for you my dear

Bridge:
I put the knife in your hands
You cant blame me for what you did to yourself
You were the disease that gave me release
Its too late to reason with me
its too late, for you

Chorus:
I can see the despair in your eyes
Woah oh woah oh
I hope you feel alone tonight
It's all downhill for you my dear
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Old 09-05-2012, 07:11 PM   #2
Nofootcanman
arse destroyer
 
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Quote:
Intro:
You'd love to see me drown
It's gonna turn around
The tide is changing now
Your time is running out! This bit works quite well

Verse1:
The adrenaline's rushing through my veins
My hands are shaking
With a constant fervor of a murderer
My sweat collides with the blood in your eyes
This look suits you so well
I feel so filthy but I love it this way This whole verse just feels like a bunch of slogans without any real meaning, or much rythym to be honest

Prechorus2:
It's so much fun to see you down so low
I never thought I'd be the one to do so
You scream you beg
For me to let you go
I'm not stopping you
You're free to go

Your Hope is Poison!

Chorus:
I can see the despair in your eyes
Woah oh woah oh
I hope you feel alone tonight
It's all downhill for you my dear Not a fan of woahs personally but this chorus is ok

COME ON!

Verse2:
The one and only light in this room is from the moon
pouring in from the half cracked window
I must admit I ithink its better with the lights turned off
I like to be in my element if you catch my drift This verse is better, You can tell what you're going on about, but there still doesnt seem to be much rythym

Prechorus2:
True beauty lies in the
chaos in my hands
It's like a work of art
you cannot understand
this is all your fault
You pushed me to the edge
Now I will push you off
Can you taste the end?

we got one thing one our minds, its your demise!

Chorus:
I can see the despair in your eyes
Woah oh woah oh
I hope you feel alone tonight
It's all downhill for you my dear

Bridge:
I put the knife in your hands
You cant blame me for what you did to yourself
You were the disease that gave me release
Its too late to reason with me
its too late, for you

Chorus:
I can see the despair in your eyes
Woah oh woah oh
I hope you feel alone tonight
It's all downhill for you my dear



Overall not too bad, but i couldnt tell if you were trying to **** this girl or kill her :L
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Old 09-06-2012, 12:06 AM   #3
AdamXAddiction
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Join Date: Sep 2012
The song is about driving someone to madness and ultimately convincing someone to kill themselves
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Old 10-08-2012, 08:24 AM   #4
AdamXAddiction
Registered User
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
UPDATED Lyrics:

The adrenaline is rushing through my veins
My hands are shaking
With the fervor of a murderer
My sweat collides with the blood in your eyes
This looks suits you so well I feel so filthy
but I love it this way

It's so much fun to see you down so low
I never thought I'd be the one to do so
You scream, you beg for me to let you go
Pulled the veil right from your eyes
It's your demise

(Down the hatch, just drink this poison)
The only way out is suicide
The end is so close
You said for me to let you go, so long
bye bye

The one and only light in this room
is from the moon
Soaring in through the half cracked window
I must admit, I like it better with the light turned off
I like to be in my element if you catch my drift
(Your head will split)

You're trapped between your thoughts
You can't decide
What is the quickest
way to see your demise
There is no out (or There's no escape)
I'll drive you to the edge
It's your choice can't make you
the one who jumps ahead

(Down the hatch, just drink this poison)
The only way out is suicide
The end is so close
You said for me to let you go, so long
bye bye, tonight

You can't see straight, eyes full of hate, shame, and pain
The choices that you made
they'll never go away
Not until you fade away
Fade away

*group chants*
your life was diseased
here comes your release

tonight (tonight)

The only way out is suicide
The end is so close
You said for me to let you go, so long
bye bye, so long
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