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Old 09-12-2012, 09:28 AM   #1
Sevenfold1993
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Advice on lyrics

These are the first lyrics I've ever written, advice would be nice please. Really want to improve my skills. It's just one verse or chorus no melody yet.

The aversion is escalatin
Building up a mind of horror
Dragging down on the strings of your sanity
All hope is lost
Dazed illusions flood your head
The light is dimming
The light is fading
No more safety
No more refuge
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Old 09-12-2012, 09:35 AM   #2
Firebirdz
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I'm really no expert, but i'm having a hard time thinking of a consistent melody for this. The verse seems to be written in a way that would make singing it well hard.
Again, i'm as much a beginner as you are, just my two cents.
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Old 09-12-2012, 10:00 AM   #3
Factor13x
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yea i agree with Firebirdz this doesnt seem to really flow in a way that you could use for singing at all but theyre good lyrics for poetry or something else
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Old 09-12-2012, 10:50 AM   #4
AngryGoldfish
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Remember to post these types of threads in the Techniques sub-forum.

*moved*
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Old 09-12-2012, 06:03 PM   #5
Sevenfold1993
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Yeah cheers guys looking over them I realise that, I never manage to think of good melodies so I tried to write lyrics before melody, doesn't seemed to have worked
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Old 09-19-2012, 08:25 PM   #6
OnceTheyWere
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Hey, I think it depends on the genre that the lyrics are going for. For certain styles of music I think these would fit in really well. For others, not so much. What were you going for?

*also, in regards to the discussion about melody/lyrics, I've found that sometimes trying to develop them together at the same time gives you the most natural combination of the two.
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Old 09-27-2012, 06:04 PM   #7
Sevenfold1993
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Well I'm into sort of avenged sevenfold bullet type of metal so some screaming etc , what do you think it's suited too?
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Old 10-01-2012, 03:33 AM   #8
johns1210
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im no expert at lyrics and melodies but i think if you screamed in a melody similar to the "ive lost my mind" part of welcome to the family it could work
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