Sevenfold1993

These are the first lyrics I've ever written, advice would be nice please. Really want to improve my skills. It's just one verse or chorus no melody yet.

The aversion is escalatin
Building up a mind of horror
Dragging down on the strings of your sanity
All hope is lost
Dazed illusions flood your head
The light is dimming
The light is fading
No more safety
No more refuge

Firebirdz

I'm really no expert, but i'm having a hard time thinking of a consistent melody for this. The verse seems to be written in a way that would make singing it well hard.
Again, i'm as much a beginner as you are, just my two cents.

__________________
Tis a sig

Factor13x

yea i agree with Firebirdz this doesnt seem to really flow in a way that you could use for singing at all but theyre good lyrics for poetry or something else

__________________
Lyrics:
To The Grave
The Marionette
Our Last Dance
DaVinci Would Be Jealous
An Angel No More

Gear:
Jackson DKXT Dinky
Silver Star Semi-Hollow Body
Peavey Vypyr 30w, 1 x 12 Combo Amp
Korg Nanopad

AngryGoldfish

Remember to post these types of threads in the Techniques sub-forum.

*moved*

__________________

Brigadier of the 7-String Legion ▪ 2nd Best Mod ▪ Wtlt ▪ Best Large Board 2012
Gas ▪ Rig ▪ Words

Sevenfold1993

Yeah cheers guys looking over them I realise that, I never manage to think of good melodies so I tried to write lyrics before melody, doesn't seemed to have worked

OnceTheyWere

Hey, I think it depends on the genre that the lyrics are going for. For certain styles of music I think these would fit in really well. For others, not so much. What were you going for?

*also, in regards to the discussion about melody/lyrics, I've found that sometimes trying to develop them together at the same time gives you the most natural combination of the two.

Sevenfold1993

Well I'm into sort of avenged sevenfold bullet type of metal so some screaming etc , what do you think it's suited too?