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Old 09-17-2012, 03:16 PM   #41
bloodycomfort
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Japanese beetle crawling into my ear canal while sleeping, tore up tissue around the canal and did damage to the ear drum, lost some hearing permanently, went into shock, etc. Sucked ass, but the beetle paid great prices
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Old 09-17-2012, 03:21 PM   #42
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penile_fracture
Beat that. It's even worse than it sounds.
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Old 09-17-2012, 03:30 PM   #43
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I fractured my ass when i canonballed into a hot tub.
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Old 09-17-2012, 03:34 PM   #44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Horsedick.MPEG
One time I had testicular torsion. It was a cold cold night and I was chilling in my bed under the electric blanket all nice and toasty. I had the urge to take a piss and then I jumped out of my bed. I then had this sharp pain in my crotch and it was worse than anything I have ever felt before.

I was quickly rushed to the hospital and according to the story, the doctor figured I had testicular torsion and checked my nut with an ultrasound to make sure. They said that they could either manually put my nut back in place, or surgically do it. I chose surgically since it has a 90% success rate.

Luckily they fixed my nut within the 6 hour limit, because if they didn't fix it, I would be missing a nut

Basically it seems like the cause was that I was nice and toasty under the blankets and my nuts and sack were "hanging down" and when I came out of bed, the huge temperature spike when my nuts contracted caused my nut to get twisted.

Needless to say, I always get out of bed slowly now


I've had the exact same thing before and it's definitely pretty painful, but I don't remember it being like excrutiating or anything. Then again it could've been the pain medicine I still had from a previous surgery. Main thing I remember from that surgery was asking girls if they wanted to see my scars! (I was 15 at the time.)
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Old 09-17-2012, 03:38 PM   #45
MakinLattes
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I had an inguinal hernia when I was a baby. Intestines spilling out and all that. It could happen again.
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Old 09-17-2012, 03:41 PM   #46
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Two occasions come to mind:

I burnt myself with a frying pan that some halfwit left in the oven. I couldn't play guitar for weeks. The skin was all blistered to shit.

Second I got cramp in my calf which most of you know is agony though this was more painful than any cramp I've had before. I was asleep and woke up instantly. It lasted what felt like many minutes. Only a moment later my other calf cramped up. The morning came I couldn't walk for stabbing pains in my calf.

I'm sure you lads would agree that urinary problems are agony. Like pissing fire.
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Old 09-17-2012, 03:45 PM   #47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by captainsnazz
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penile_fracture
Beat that. It's even worse than it sounds.



None shall beat this. I have a post earlier that includes a metal chain to the eye, a dog bite near but not on my nether reigons and a vicious sting ray sting i got as a kid.

All pale in comparison to the penile fracture also known as "Broken dick" according to the article.
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Old 09-17-2012, 03:46 PM   #48
TooktheAtrain
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I accidentally self immolated when cooking a fry up. it hurt loads after the initial burning, and I had to wear this gauze vest thing.
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Old 09-17-2012, 03:52 PM   #49
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I've cracked my head open a few times, broken my nose, ribs and a few other things, but nothing hurt half as much as trapping my fingers in a door. Like the hinge bit. The guy held the door shut, heard my own fingers breaking, and had to have reconstructive surgery. Bloody awful.
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Old 09-17-2012, 04:04 PM   #50
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I had urine leaking out of my kidneys after surgery, and not just a little but ****ing bucketloads. Never been in worse pain in my entire life, and it lasted for 12 hours. And worst of all, none of the pain medicine helped.

I don't mean leaking out of my skin lol. It was an inside leak.
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Old 09-17-2012, 04:08 PM   #51
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Quote:
Originally Posted by captainsnazz
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penile_fracture
Beat that. It's even worse than it sounds.

Holy shit his dick is black
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Old 09-17-2012, 04:11 PM   #52
Ninja#117
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Originally Posted by LostLegion
Holy shit his dick is black



Being a black male i fail to see the problem.
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Old 09-17-2012, 04:15 PM   #53
whywefight
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ninja#117
Being a black male i fail to see the problem.


Without sounding racist, it just shouldn't be that way. It's not normal. White people should have white dicks!
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Old 09-17-2012, 04:17 PM   #54
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Without sounding racist, it just shouldn't be that way. It's not normal. White people should have white dicks!


Wow.
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Old 09-17-2012, 04:29 PM   #55
donender
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1-Broke my leg when i was 8 years old, it was all my fault, i jumped from a chair to a pull up bar and lost my grip, landed awkwardly on one leg and it just snapped, was a spiral fracture, so both bones in my lower leg were broken, luckily it wasn't a compound or anything. My brother was in the room at the time and didn't realize what the damage was, so he was just laughing his head off. When i think about it, it makes my leg feel funny.

2-Had a three hour long tooth extraction, it was meant to take about an hour at the most, but the top of the tooth just came off when the dentist was prodding at it, so he had to extract each piece of the root individually, the injections hurt a lot, by the end of it, he couldn't give me any more anesthetic, so in the last fifteen minutes it was starting to wear off. I had a panic attack when he was working at the last root because my face and jaw were so tired, i ran to the bathroom in tears and when i looked in the mirror there was blood all over my mouth.

3-I put a cigarette out on my hand for no reason at all, it was stupid, and the wound afterwards hurt like a bitch.
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Old 09-17-2012, 04:33 PM   #56
rocknrolldude43
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Twisted my ankle at school when I jumped over the last few bottom stairs on my way down (and I've done this plenty before without injuring myself, I just happened to land on my foot awkwardly). This happened to me twice (first time in my senior year of high school, second time earlier this year in my third- and final- year of alt school), and both times I had to stay home from school the following day (and had to use crutches to get around). Thankfully, both times it healed rather quickly, and I was already off the crutches by the second day (though my ankle was still pretty tender for a while afterward, so I walked with somewhat of a hobble).
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Old 09-17-2012, 04:37 PM   #57
digman50
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Had 10 teeth pulled at once so that my adult teeth would grow correctly. ****ing hurt.
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Old 09-17-2012, 04:44 PM   #58
guitar ben94
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Worst injury for me would be ripping open my kneecap. Basically, my kneecap was cut down to my patella, and I could just see the muscle and stuff around my knee. Ended up with a '<'-shaped scar on my knee. Doing it wasn't the most painful part. The most painful part was when the doctor put her hand inside my knee to pull of some twigs and leaves, while I had been given no pain medication. A hand rummaging around inside your knee is not pleasant at all...
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Old 09-17-2012, 04:51 PM   #59
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I broke my arm when I was four. I assume this would be the most painful thing, but I don't actually remember it hurting. So instead, you get this story, which happened to me a week or two ago.

I was playing video games from Friday evening, to Sunday afternoon, at about 3:00, with semi-regular breaks. I decided to take a break, and when I shut the tv off, I noticed odd circles in my vision, both of my eyes. I passed it off, and assumed it would go away in a few minutes. It got worse, and worse, until at about 4:00. I suddenly got a huge headache. I felt lightheaded, and assumed I would pass out.
This is where it gets weird. I suddenly got huge stomach cramps. Huge, as in I fell to the ground. I got extremely nauseous, and crawled to the bathroom. I was laying in the bathroom, with a bucket beside me for about 2 hours, with a constant headache, stomach cramps, nausea, and a weird sensation, sort of out-of-body. I finally got good enough to stand up, and I laid in a recliner chair. This lasted for another hour, until I got good enough to walk around. My eyesight was still pretty bad, so I tried to fix it by looking at far away objects. I went to bed early, and was fine the next day.
I never did vomit, either.

The thing I don't get, is the stomach pains. My father suggested that it was the fact that I ate a whole lot of watermelon not too long before, but I've done that many times.

tl;dr Massive and long lasting head and stomach pains, as well as nausea.
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Old 09-17-2012, 05:02 PM   #60
AtaBorMan
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6 year old me was climbing on an old fire engine in a shoe shop. Slipped, fell off the bonnet. Balls introduced to bumper.

7 year old me, ice skating. Using some sort of balance aid (for teh lulz) constructed from a triangular platform with a handle going up to hold. It got stuck to the ice, it fell over, I fell on it. Balls introduced to triangle corner.

A few weeks ago, a horse stepped on my toes.

It wouldn't surprise me if I am infertile. Though it would make me sad...
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