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Old 09-17-2012, 10:44 PM   #1
Bleed Away
th.
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: the alley at dawn
Decadence

Stupor: the brutalist beacon
that marks this never-ending era;
it is the ominous epitaph
that plagues our sunless sky;
superseding the stars.

Brains turned, garment torn;
decay has found us all
like a foul siege; its bitter aroma
favours no one --- so put an end
to the pointing of fingers ---
but, even so, its presence remains
not of ourselves, even though
flesh is all we have left.

What we once were is now just
an unintelligible call to arms
from a once jealous God
that once embodied us all.
But that was a long time ago.
Now we are looked down upon
by the so-called “enlightened ones” ---
as if we aren’t the ones
they’ll surely become.

Revolution: an elusive come of age
collapsing into fraudulent change.
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Last edited by Bleed Away : 10-01-2012 at 04:08 AM.
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Old 09-18-2012, 12:16 AM   #2
kamjam7
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1st and last parts were very clever! I would have matched the lengths (shortened the first or lengthened last) but it still works. Rest was alright, cynical and critical aren't my thing too much.

Care to take a peak at mine? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1563481
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Old 09-18-2012, 12:51 PM   #3
Factor13x
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Location: Marion, Indiana
i liked the choice of words, gave it a very dark, gritty edge and really showed what i think you were trying to convey
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Lyrics:
To The Grave
The Marionette
Our Last Dance
DaVinci Would Be Jealous
An Angel No More

Gear:
Jackson DKXT Dinky
Silver Star Semi-Hollow Body
Peavey Vypyr 30w, 1 x 12 Combo Amp
Korg Nanopad
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Old 09-27-2012, 09:45 PM   #4
smartalecG94
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An Occupy piece? Not sure, but it certainly feels like it heh. It feels like a slap in the face to all the kids who went out to Occupy thinking it was a revolution. Writing is the choicest as usual
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Old 10-01-2012, 04:43 AM   #5
Bleed Away
th.
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: the alley at dawn
Quote:
Originally Posted by smartalecG94
An Occupy piece? Not sure, but it certainly feels like it heh. It feels like a slap in the face to all the kids who went out to Occupy thinking it was a revolution. Writing is the choicest as usual


This isn't actually alluding to Occupy but that doesn't mean you can't interpret it as such. Thank you for reading
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Old 10-01-2012, 06:47 AM   #6
kdownes
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I really love how your pieces feel both deliberate and vague. Every word is important, but the meaning is obscured just enough to be left to interpretation. I always get something from your work.
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