剣 斧 血

Your skin was always so appealing
Sweet to touch, painful, but satisfying
Now, my dear, it's safe to say
You have the allure of rusted gold
How wrong was I
To trust, think you different?
Another liar
Another coward
Another...

She likes you
But I love you

Now I sit broken limbed,
Licking wounds
For you to play cupid
After, willingly,
I placed my heart in your hands

And you call me insane?

__________________
It didn't take long to realise
The safest place was not her arms, but her eyes
Where she can't see you
For her gaze, it blisters;
Grey skin to cinders

seventh_angel

I don't like the repetition of sweet on the second line, and the question mark should be moved after "different" I think.

Everything else is good, I especially loved the ending; it was simple, but I enjoyed reading it.

__________________
My Pieces


The Vulture
Eh-bits
Tandem
There's Nothing As Silent As A Cry Forn Help

New one: Carpe Diem

剣 斧 血

Thinking on it, I definitely agree about the question mark. And I think I may exchange the second "sweet" for "satisfying", it sounds better in my head. Thanks for the advice.

__________________
It didn't take long to realise
The safest place was not her arms, but her eyes
Where she can't see you
For her gaze, it blisters;
Grey skin to cinders

Bair

gold dont rust fool! anyway, its pretty good. depressing, but good. is this about a g/f turning gay?

__________________
"Spin the middle side topwise. Topwise!"

"And there's Jimmy Page, the biggest thief of American Blues music"

剣 斧 血

Nah, it's about a girl who turned me down, told me she doesn't want a boyfriend until after exams in June and now has one. Then started telling me that I could get with her friend straight after revealing she'd just got a boyfriend.

__________________
It didn't take long to realise
The safest place was not her arms, but her eyes
Where she can't see you
For her gaze, it blisters;
Grey skin to cinders