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Old 10-04-2012, 06:50 PM   #1
guitar_jew
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C4C: Saturn 9- post hardcore/melodic metalcore album

I'M BACK BITCHES. And since this has been done since November of last year, I figured I might as well put this whole thing up while I'm 11 of 13 songs into the next album I'm writing.

5 or 6 of these have already been put up on these forums, but meh. Whole is greater than the sum of the parts, yadda yadda yadda. Plus, I need to reintegrate myself into the community anyway.

A whole album file is in there alongside the individual song files, the latter of which has lyrics and section notes. The whole thing is roughly a 42-minute investment.

EDIT: While honestly you can choose whatever you want, I'm really looking for crits on either the whole project, or more realistically, tracks 2-6 and 10. Thanks.

1. Before Nightfall
2. Thought and Sound
3. And/Or
4. Somewhere to Hide
5. Restless
6. Sunday Morning is Every Day For All I Care
7. Our Love is God. Let's Go Get a Slushie
8. The Hallucination
9. Anonymity
10. Flaws and Skin Tissue
11. Saturn 9

Thanks!
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File Type: zip Saturn_9.zip (77.1 KB, 436 views)

Last edited by guitar_jew : 11-10-2012 at 03:42 AM.
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Old 10-17-2012, 04:28 PM   #2
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Only listened to the first song "before nigthfall" but I really like it. I'm not into the whole post hardcore thing but I'd listen to this if it was on a cd. I like how there's a lot of things happening and weird accents all over the place yet it never feels cluttered or forced, the transitions and variations all flow very natural. The intro and outro riffs are my favorite, especially the outro is very very energetic. You have a great way of taking elements from old-skool metal/rock riffs but adding your own exotic vibe with some unusual chords and patterns mixed in. The only thing I'm not a huge fan of are the typical chorus chord strumming sections (like at bar 92) which come off as sort of cheesy to me but that is partly personal preference since I understand they are inherent to the genre. overall really cool stuff drop a pm if you decide to record this . (C4C isn't necessary)
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Old 10-17-2012, 04:35 PM   #3
EpiExplorer
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Bits and pieces I really like.

but post-hardcore is done to death, I got very bored of the drumming and d-beat feel.
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Old 10-17-2012, 04:56 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EpiExplorer
Bits and pieces I really like.

but post-hardcore is done to death, I got very bored of the drumming and d-beat feel.

I don't really care for post-hardcore but don't you dare diss the almighty d-beat
Grind + Boss HM2 + D-beatz = a mess in my pants
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Old 10-17-2012, 05:29 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ometh
I don't really care for post-hardcore but don't you dare diss the almighty d-beat
Grind + Boss HM2 + D-beatz = a mess in my pants


Nah, love me some D-beats too, but in post-hardcore its like, the only drumming pattern aside from limp breakdowns.

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Eip pls
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Old 10-17-2012, 05:45 PM   #6
guitar_jew
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EpiExplorer
Bits and pieces I really like.

but post-hardcore is done to death, I got very bored of the drumming and d-beat feel.


It'd help if I knew what specifically you were talking about- one song, the whole thing?

Especially if it's just the first song, because it's the most generic out of the whole project, I think.

Last edited by guitar_jew : 10-17-2012 at 05:52 PM.
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Old 10-22-2012, 06:22 AM   #7
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Sorry it's taken so long to return the crit mate.

I had a listen to The Hallucination, I felt some of the transitions felt a bit odd, like from verse 3 to the chorus, and verse 2 to the chorus. Quite enjoyed it still, I liked the chords used generally. The timing for the chord changes was quite nice in the first verse.
Being a bit picky, I thought in the transition after the chorus, the dissonance that you did in the last 2 beats in bar 54 was a bit unnecessary. I know what kinda feel you were going for but it feels a bit forced/not right here. But that's just me being real picky.
A little suggestion for the transitional intro variant, is that instead of repeating the four bars, you have a snare roll going even when the first guitar stops, if that makes any sense.

Don't take my crit too harshly, I liked it, I just thought giving constructive criticism is better than just saying what I liked. Nice one.
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Old 10-31-2012, 12:03 PM   #8
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I listened to the first song. Interesting chord voicings and it was relly busy it kinda reminded me of aliases but less tech but still tech at the same time. You definitely have an ambitious sense of songwriting but I feel like you can get a little too ambitious as some of your choices of chord progressions seem a bit random where it sounds like you just stuck some chords together and it sounds messy. Overrall pretty good I'll listen to the rest of the songs today.
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Old 11-13-2012, 09:52 PM   #9
Erra93
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Listening to The Hallucination (8th song)
I really like the chaotic atmosphere of the song, but since it's very much based around chords and not riffs, it would be really cool to hear this recorded with vocals, so as to hear it with its full potential.

I absolutely love the second part of the 2nd chorus (and I also really like the concept of adding parts onto choruses to keep them interesting), that kind of melody would keep me listening to the song no matter what I thought of the rest of the song.

I find it hard to find something to change, because I'm not very good at criticism yet (and your songs are well-composed anyway)!

I just realized I have some actual criticism now! The transition at bar 51-54, it would have been awesome if there was a truly melodic part there, it's just a perfect setup for a nice melody before going back to the chaosy stuff again!

I even came up with something to show you what I mean (the transition to the bridge sucks though)! I actually liked the part I wrote so much that I'm going to use it for one of my own songs and you'll probably not like it as much as I do anyway!

Actually! Great work, I could never pull off a post-hardcore song

Sorry for taking so long to crit back, I've been really lazy these past days, don't even know why!

Also, about the song you critted for me - could you show me a song with fusion-y styled leads? Would be cool to know what you mean, haha
And also again, it's really weird, but I also didn't notice the awkwardness of the transition to bar 105 in my song, but I kind of like it that way.. I think (or maybe I'm just being lazy again, I'll look into it later!)

One last thing; what's an I-iii progression? Could you show me a song utilizing that too? I suck at theory, sorry!

Thank you for your crit too!
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Old 11-14-2012, 01:03 AM   #10
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For fusion style leads, look up Guthrie Govan's Erotic Cakes, best guitar album ever imho, and The Faceless' new album, even if you're not into tech death. Very melodic, but not afraid to defy convention.

A I-iii refers to the seven notes of the major scale. When you build chords from the major scale, you take a first note, the third of that note, and the fifth of that note- So if we're building a C major chord in the key of C, your chord has the notes C E and G. If you play those at once, it's a C major chord. If you stay in C, and start a chord on the third note of the scale, E, you get EGB, or E minor. Each note of the major scale has its own chord quality- capital Roman numerals refer to major chords, and lower-case refer to minor chords.

The major scale's chord qualities are I-ii-iii-IV-V-vi-vii(diminished).

Thanks for the crit, I was sad when this fell off the front page :P
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Old 11-14-2012, 07:24 AM   #11
Erra93
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Quote:
Originally Posted by guitar_jew
For fusion style leads, look up Guthrie Govan's Erotic Cakes, best guitar album ever imho, and The Faceless' new album, even if you're not into tech death. Very melodic, but not afraid to defy convention.

A I-iii refers to the seven notes of the major scale. When you build chords from the major scale, you take a first note, the third of that note, and the fifth of that note- So if we're building a C major chord in the key of C, your chord has the notes C E and G. If you play those at once, it's a C major chord. If you stay in C, and start a chord on the third note of the scale, E, you get EGB, or E minor. Each note of the major scale has its own chord quality- capital Roman numerals refer to major chords, and lower-case refer to minor chords.

The major scale's chord qualities are I-ii-iii-IV-V-vi-vii(diminished).

Thanks for the crit, I was sad when this fell off the front page :P


Oh, Guthrie Govan is amazing, think I'll try playing his songs then, maybe it'll help me get the hang of that lovely fusion-sound! Listened to some of the new Faceless and yeah, pretty great!

Aah, I'll look into this comment when I'm less tired and see if it's easier to understand then! Thanks for the explanation though!

Haha, you're welcome! :p
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Old 11-27-2012, 12:08 AM   #12
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So I listened to most of the songs, including the first one, which you said was the most generic. I'll definitely agree with you on that. I feel like all the songs would benefit from having real vocals, which is always a problem when reviewing GP files. That said, all the songs kind of blur together for me. They all follow the same vein of off kilter rhythms and crunchy dissonance. A lot of the songs after the first one seem like ideas you had on how to improve the themes of the first song. It's not bad, but it just seems like you're repeating yourself a lot. Some of the oboe parts, which I'm assuming are vocal lines, harmonize really uncomfortably with the rest of the song. It's usually only for like a beat, which makes it hard to point out, and also that much more uncomfortable. It takes the listener out of the atmosphere you had built.

I really like the atmospheric intro kind of thing in 'Sunday Morning'. That was far and away the best song of the bunch, in my opinion.
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Old 11-27-2012, 12:54 AM   #13
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I think it's ironic that 'Sunday Morning' is your favorite given your criticisms- the lyrics describe a self-consciousness on that possibility of being repetitive and unoriginal within my own body of work, including intentionally repetitive lyrics.

Sunday Morning lyrics


Thanks for looking at it, though, I do appreciate it. Once I get the patience to tab everything out and arrange the last song, I think the current project I'm on doesn't have that problem.
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Old 11-27-2012, 02:48 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by guitar_jew
I think it's ironic that 'Sunday Morning' is your favorite given your criticisms- the lyrics describe a self-consciousness on that possibility of being repetitive and unoriginal within my own body of work, including intentionally repetitive lyrics.

Sunday Morning lyrics


Thanks for looking at it, though, I do appreciate it. Once I get the patience to tab everything out and arrange the last song, I think the current project I'm on doesn't have that problem.


loool I didn't even read the lyrics. I rarely pay attention to lyrics in metal and punk anyway. Vocals are just another instrument to me.
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Old 12-02-2012, 03:28 PM   #15
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Havent had time to listen to all the songs but I really liked before nightfall and flaws and skin tissue
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Old 12-30-2012, 01:19 AM   #16
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Your songs seem to be pretty well written. However, after the first 3-4 songs the whole thing felt pointlessly heavy for me. I think you should spice it up with calming parts, solos, or just higher melodies. Something to rest the listeners ears a bit. The best moment for me is clearly the last song - Saturn 9 - which adds some colour to the overall picture. One more memorable moment to mention was the breakdown - til the end of song#8, I stopped the whole thing and put that on repeat for like 3 or 4 times. The album has potential but I think some parts needs more emphasizing (as I mentioned above).

Overall:

Would listen again/10
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Old 12-30-2012, 02:05 AM   #17
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Thanks for the crit! I appreciate it. In putting the songs together, I felt that the ambience of And/Or and Anonymity fulfilled the need for a change of pace, although between you and Frau, I suppose you can't both be wrong. I consider this a finished work, so I want to leave its flaws in place, but the critiques haven't gone unnoticed- I'll keep that in mind in my future works.
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Old 01-20-2013, 08:01 AM   #18
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I'll start off with the ol' cliche: This is not my type of music. But I'll do my best to crit this through the ears of someone who would normally enjoy listening to PHC.

I'll take a look at Flaws and Skin Tissue. First thing that jumped out at me was the harmony error at measure 5 in the vocal harmony, if you change the A# to A then it sounds much better. I'm not sure how it would work out in real audio the way you have it now, it might end up working because recorded audio makes stuff like that less apparent than MIDI. I'd change it anyway.

The transition at 17 is really jarring, probably because of the way the time signature is changing while changing the key as well. I usually try to pick one, if you change too many base qualities at one time it can lead to confusion. Unless, that is, you're trying to aim specifically for a jarring change, which can be cool. But I don't think that's what you're going for here. The part itself is fine, if not a bit disjointed-sounding from the abrupt measure of 13/16.

25, B in the vocal harmony would function better as Db. So, change the 8 to 10 if you like. Sits better with the diminished sound.

The instrumental section is cool, but some of the repetitions feel a bit unnatural. Same goes for the part at the end, although I like the idea of slowing it down. I would do something like [72, 73, 72, 74, 75]. If that makes sense.

Good for the genre. Needs some tweakage. I need the dedication to write an album.
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