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Old 10-01-2012, 11:19 PM   #1
Mr.Pink101
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Domino Heart

http://soundcloud.com/jackfrawley101/domino-heart
This is unrefined, only read over it twice. Inspired by real life. C4C, tips and like/hates appreciated as always.

She picked up the dominos and packed them neatly into their box.
Put it in it's place on the shelf next to the tissues and the bandages,
turned to me and said "I'm done. I've cleaned up"
"And don't you look a picture" I replied, smiled, turned and led her out

Seven months ago Jessica was a little girl
walking alone the highway across the world
held at gunpoint by a scoundrel with a winning smile
who always gave 110% when it came to football
and in his arms she felt safe. Safe enough
to take on the highway and walk for three days straight.
He told her it was ok, and it was so hot outside
you could see the ice in her breath when she exhaled
but so long as he had his arms around her
she could keep balance and her heart would never fall crooked.
He became her life support. Soon, after weeks without rest
she was hooked up to so many machines that she just stopped.
Stopped walking, stopped talking, stopped coming home
stopped looking ahead and the highway was now a road
that she was hitched along for the ride upon
No seatbelts, downhill, potholes.

Jessica got clumsy and walked into doors a lot
became good at covering up bruises to avoid tough questions
she'd paint on a smile to keep him happy,
he didn't like her answer when he asked what the **** she was crying for.
he didn't like hurting her either, because he loved her so much
and she knew it was true because he'd say it every night
when he was raping her.
so she forgave him again without asking, he didn't have to say it
she knew he was sorry because he loves her and he will change
climb down from the clouds, lower his hands
hold her close instead of hostage.

The sidelines are no place for love to watch from.
Five of my friends and I tried to change him ourselves.
After he got out, dusted himself off and reset his ribs
Jessica dissappeared with him.
It was four months before the next-of-kin heard
that she was critical from an overdose and holding out for us.
Red and white brought her back, a fragile shell
of the sister I once knew.
Blue and white took took him away, and a hammer
gave him six years to change.
Black and white fell in a line and covered the floor.
It was 2 months of Re-love, family and confidence
before she finally picked up the pieces
and put them back where they belonged.
She turned to me and said "I'm done, I've cleaned up"
"And don't you look a picture" I replied.
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Music is an art form that celebrates potential. So long as you're looking for it, you'll always find it.

Last edited by Mr.Pink101 : 10-11-2012 at 09:11 PM.
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Old 10-07-2012, 06:47 PM   #2
Kreaton
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Join Date: Oct 2012
This is artwork - the emotion that the words convey hit like a bullet to the chest.
keep it up man, keep it up.


Bump <3
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Old 10-08-2012, 05:18 PM   #3
treborillusion
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Location: The London Borough of Croydon, GB
Every line is like a verse...


It's like


1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4
1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4
1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4
1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4
1 2, 3 4...


instead of
1 2 3 4
1 2 3 4
1 2 3 4
1 2 3 4
4 more 4
3 2...
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Originally Posted by laid-to-waste
look nigga, if you're chillin with 5 bros and 2 hos, you're gonna wanna pay attention to all of em equally. not moon over the hos forever and laugh at every shitty thing they say and just stare at them all night, like some of my mates do.
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Old 10-08-2012, 11:02 PM   #4
Mr.Pink101
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It's a spoken word poem, it's not supposed to read like a verse-by-verse poem; it's supposed to tell the story.

If you want I can record it right now and upload it to soundcloud or something?
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